Post # 1
So, I’m a bit worried to post this – I’ve learned fthe the Knot that bridesmaids are oly supposed to buy a dress and show up to the wedding. I get that and have seen numerous brides chastised over there for wanting abachelorette or expecting a BM to come dress shopping but….
I would really like a bridal sower but I don’t know how to suggest to my wedding party that that is the case? Is tis even kind of okay? I know TK boards everyone says it’s like asking for money and oh can’t ask someone to host a party for you but I feel bad. I’d really like a bridal shower to get all the people I love together but I feel so bad after reading through the Knot boards that even hinting might be a it brideszilla
Sorry for typos – this box and my iPad are not friendly!!!
Post # 3
I don’t think that simply wanting a shower makes you a brideszilla. When is the wedding (if you don’t mind sharing)? It might simply be that no one has gotten to planning it yet, or talking to you about it. Or maybe that want it to be a surprise! Either way, try to remember that just because you’re in super-excited planning mode, doesn’t mean that everyone else is! I have to remind myself this weekly =)
In our area, it’s actually not common for the bridesmaids to through a shower. Usually it’s a family member of the bride or groom, in our case FIs aunt and great aunt. I think every region is different though. Unfortuantly, I don’t really know if there is a delicate way to bring up a shower, since it is a party who’s sole purpose is to give you gifts! If it get’s really close to the wedding, and no one has brought it up maybe you can host a small, intimate bridal luncheon at your house or potluck style. I don’t know where you are, but here in the South they are very common. Essentially it’s a luncheon very close to the big day with (typically) just the women in the family….so a bridal shower without all the gifts!
For the bachelorette party, make sure your expectations are realistic for the BM, then maybe you can find a way to delicately bring it up with the MOH/BM. Just say suggest a small ladies night out with dinner & dancing, and they can take it from there if they want.
Post # 4
I’m an American but i live in England, and Bridal Showers are not very common here at all. I didn’t expect my bridesmaids to throw me one, so I ended up combining the shower and the bachelorette party together, but I didn’t mention anything about gifts. Some of my friends ended up getting me some gifts, which was nice! I just wanted to say that I had one!
Post # 5
I wanted a ahower. It would have been lovely. And I’ve thrown plenty of bridal and baby showers for friends …from whom I now live very far away. So there’s no one where I live who would reciprocate, and my friends here just haven’t thought of it.
All that to say, it isn’t the end of the world. It’s a little sad, but it’s okay. I’m not getting one, either, but I’m still getting some lovely gifts and the most important thing is the wonderful man I’m marrying.
I can’t see when your wedding date it, but hopefully there’s time and someone will offer 🙂
Post # 6
Well, I think most brides want a bridal shower so I don’t think you are wrong there but I wouldn’t suggest or ask them to throw you one. Every wedding I’ve been in the bridesmaids with a little help from MOB have always been happy and excited to throw a shower and it was no different for my own wedding. But I know not everyone is as lucky to have great bridal parties from stories I’ve read on here. First, when is your wedding? My BM’s only took a month to get the whole thing planned so maybe it’s too soon to be on their radar yet. If you wedding is fast approaching and no one has offered then either maybe they are tight on money, or perhaps didn’t know that’s a common thing for BM to do. Also, it can be hard sometimes if all the girls don’t know eachother to start the planning process. If thats the case make sure all the girls have eachothers emails and phone #’s so if they do want to plan something that would be easier to get the ball rolling. BUT again, they don’t have to throw you are shower. That takes money and time and not everyone has that in addition to what the wedding day has in store. Are you close with your mom, sister or Aunt? They can do it as well. Or if no one is up for it you can always do one yourself if its that important.
Post # 7
I get how you feel. i didn’t think anyone would offer to throw me one either and what a relief that my bm did and is pretty excited about it. Maybe dop hints without coming right out and asking. if your wedding is a ways away, maybe they havn’t thought that far ahead yet. Also it could be a surprise. I hope you do get one.
Post # 8
I have to agree that it isn’t appropriate to ask someone to throw a party in your honor (or to hint at it), especially since the main purpose of a shower (at least traditionally) is to give you gifts. I think the WIC leads us to believe that everyone has a shower, and that really isn’t the case–not everyone does. That said, someone may offer when the wedding comes closer. Another consideration: Why is it that you want a shower? If it’s not about gifts and you just want to spend time with the women in your bridal party and family, you could consider hosting a NWR brunch (even at your house if that’s more in-budget) so your bridal party and future family members can get aquainted.