Post # 1
hey ladies! i LOVE good food and i just wanted to know if u guys feel me on this one… our venue allows outside food but they charge $10pp (100 – 150 guest list) if we dont use the caterers they recommend ($40 – 60pp + 9.75% tax + 20% grat). i KNOW their food is not gonna b as good as the food my mama (and all the women in our fam) cooks. im just wondering if i should just use their caterer or pay the additional money and have the women in my fam cook for our buffet style reception… what would u do?
Post # 3
I think the women in your family; especially your mom, should just be guests. Having them cook that much food would, in my opinion, be more of a burden than an honor. I would go with the catering company. That way the catering will take care of the cooking, set up, cleaning, glassware, utensils, dinnerware, etc.
Post # 4
I would just have a caterer. Honestly, if the food is good enough, that’s fine. I think that having your family members cook for your wedding would be more of a stress than an honor like noritake said.
Post # 5
My FI is insistent on cooking all the food for our wedding (he’s a chef), but I would much rather hire a caterer. I would rather him relax for the wedding and enjoy himself. But knowing him, he hates all food prepared by other people because it could just be “this much better.” At least he has a restaurant kitchen at his disposal (old boss back home), but I can’t imagine doing that kind of work. I’m hoping he changes his mind as we get closer to the wedding.
I would let your momma rest and be a guest.
Post # 6
I have seen many a “friendor” lose it over stress on the wedding day and I dont ever recommend it unless they are skilled in the area you are hiring them for. There is a lot of skill that comes with cooking for that many people- cooking well on equipment that is unfamiliar to you, serving the guests, keeping the food hot and getting it out in a timely manner…I just think that is too much for your poor mama! I say hire a caterer and let her relax on the day of and enjoy it along side you! Plus kind of crappy that you have to pay the venue to bring in outside food! Thats a bummer!
Post # 7
I can speak from experience and say that anyone in the kitchen at any time will miss the entire wedding. They won’t be able to enjoy any of it as a guest since they will be tied to the kitchen during the ceremony and after dinner.
If you still want your mom to cook, make sure it can all be frozen and reheated later, then have a group of college students or extended family friends who would not be attending otherwise (whom you hire for a small fee) heat, serve and clean up so that your family can sit back and enjoy the wedding. If that isn’t negotiable, ask your favorite restaurant to cater since they are cheaper and have better food than most caterers.
Post # 8
same problem! the venue i love requires sole catering (grumble grumble) and my FMIL works as a caterer! so i’m either going to have to go with a place i love and pay more for their catering (and possibly slight FMIL???) or go with a lesser place and she can cater (not literally herself, just her company). ugh. the $10pp fee is pretty ridiculous imho – why does everyone always try and screw us brides???
Post # 9
can you talk to the catering company and ask if they will serve 1-2 dishes that your mom cooks in advance and delivers to them that morning? i have known others who have done this so it’s not unheard of. you’d still be paying the full catering fee, but you’d get a little extra and be able to have the great food that your mom cooks without having her tied to the kitchen all day.
Post # 10
This is kinda tough but I think you need to think about what is going to be the biggest burden. First of all, are you really saving that much money by having your mom and family members cook food? I would guess you still have to buy all the food and serving dishes etc. Also, how much extra time and stress is this going to cause? It really may not be worth the burden.
Their caterers at $50 pp times 100 guests would be 5,000 plus tax and gratuity you are up to $6,500 or so.
If your mom does the cooking I would guess you would have to pay at least $10 pp for food so roughly $1,000 plus any other equipment/supplies you may need. Plus the $10 pp for the venue. I would guess it still would end up costing you $2,500 to cook yourself.
Post # 11
Agree with previous posters that time and stress are equal to money as well.
While the venue may allow outside catering, countless places do not allow homemade food at all as it does not come from a licensed kitchen and therefore is a violation of health dept restrictions that the venue is not willing to get involved in. If someone does get sick due to improper cooking (when cooking for a large crowd, it is quite easy to undercook food which is dangerous) or food left sitting out longer than it should, etc, the couple would be held fully responsible and many couples in that case refuse to claim such responsibility. To abide by the laws enforced by the health dept, the venue is doing what they can to protect themselves and the clients’ guests. So while it may seem as though “they are out to get you”, they are really looking out for your best interests to make sure nothing bad does happen which lands everyone in hot water.
Post # 12
thanks so much for the advice bees!! the more i read ur comments the less of a brat i become lol… my mama DOES need to relax and enjoy the day just as much as everyone else. u gals are awesome!
Post # 13
It’s such a busy, special day. I think it’s a good choice to let her relax and enjoy the day with you!
Post # 14
It would cost you more than $10 pp if your family cooks, because yo udidn’t factor in the cost of the food.
Also I agree that your family should be guests, not caterers. But it’s really up to what YOU want.