Post # 1
I am American my fiance is Jordanian. We are currently living in separate countries until the wedding. The original plan was to have the wedding in my fiances country because we are having an Islamic wedding and also it will be impossible for anyone from his family to come to America due to visa restrictions. However, my family is able to go to Jordan because visas are easy and no problem. I have made it an open invitation in regards to my family. I know that my extended relatives might not be able to come to Jordan but anyone that wants to come is welcome.
I prefer to have the wedding in Jordan because my extended family has already started drama over my fiance (intercultural wedding, he is Muslim but my family is Catholic) and I just feel uncomfortable being around people that won’t be happy for me. Also in Jordan we can have an easier time planning a wedding and won’t have to make special considerations like no alcohol at the venue, etc. I love my In Laws, they have been really welcoming to me and I want to share this time with them and my immediate family.
But my mom has been fielding calls from family members, and she has asked (more like demanded) for a second wedding in the USA. She doesn’t think it is fair to only have one wedding not in the USA. I think my mom has a special vision for my wedding, and it doesn’t involve being married abroad in a different culture. However this idea might be extremely difficult because of our jobs, since we plan on living in Jordan after the wedding. Also my fiance is not a big fan of this idea because it might be a little difficult to plan and arrange two weddings. My fiance is paying for everything. I told my mom that we are dealing with a three day traditional wedding in jordan, a new car, new house and other expenses and a second wedding isn’t really in the budget. To this, she said that she will be paying for the second wedding in America, so I don’t have a choice.
It might not seem like a big deal, but I am not interested in my extended family causing drama at a wedding in America and even though my mom is insisting to pay I KNOW she doesn’t have the finances for it, and either do we. These are my hesitations.
What are your opinions? Stick to my plan to have one wedding in Jordan or cave and agree to have two?
Post # 3
@nooraalj: I would only agree to the one.
If that is all you want, that is all that should matter.
You’re mom is going to be mad, but ultimately you will be making the best decision for both you and your mom since either of you has money growing on a tree out back lol.
Post # 4
@nooraalj: If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to say no to your Mom. If you and your husband don’t show up, she really can’t have a wedding.
To make her happy, you could plan for a celebration to be held here on your one year anniversary.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
I have decided to only have one wedding in Japan after initially considering another back in the Uk becausr due to work we haveno idea when we could bothgo to the uk together. Although it looks like only 4 of my family members can make it, I’m happy with my choice . I say stick to your guns!
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
ps sorry for typos- on mobile 🙂
Post # 7
I say stick with one wedding, if that’s what you want. Mr. and I are getting married in Slovakia, which means pretty much none of my extended family will be able to come. We’re planning a Canadian ‘reception’ with aunts and uncles, etc., which will happen at some un-decided point, probably at least 6 months after the wedding.
It’s really generous of your mother of offer to pay for another wedding, but just because she wants something and is happy to pay for it, that doesn’t obligate you to go along with it.
Post # 8
Maybe you could have the wedding in Jordan and then some kind of celebration/blessing in the USA for those friends and relatives who are unable to attend the Jordan wedding.
Post # 9
I totally understand your situation I am in a similar one, stick with what makes you happy as long as your immediate family memebers are present thats all that matters. People will have their opinions but they got to live their lives and have their dream wedding now its your turn, congrats i hope everything goes well.
Post # 10
You have a choice. I would having your wedding in Jordan but have a party in the US for your extended family to compromise. Or if your mom is this crazy already, you might want to steer clear of giving her any power.
Post # 11
I second what AlwaysSunny said! I am also excited to hear your are going to Jordan. I lived on the other side of the Jordanian river, in the West Bank, for 10 years. It’s hard to ignore family demands, but probably best if you stick with what works for you and your future husband.
Post # 12
Listen, let your mom know that it is IMPOSSIBLE to have two weddings. When you get married in Jordan, you’ll be married. Done deal. There is no such thing as a “second wedding”. What she can do – is host a celebration of your marriage. Also known as an “at home reception”. Not a wedding. So, you can allow her to host this for you and let her do her own thing, but let her know that you cannot contribute but you’d be happy to have her host this party for you. Or… you can let he rknow you don’t feel its appropriate and you won’t be able to attend.