(Closed) I want out

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think your Dad would want you marrying the wrong guy.  Counseling s/l something you guys need asap before November comes along.  Marriage is hard, if you feel like this going in it will be miserable.  Get help or just get out.  Doesn’t sound good at all. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Yorkie820:  why have you been together so long without making a commitment until now? are you very young? If you are not happy and dont want to marry this man then dont. you really need to be honest with yourself. you say you think this is how it must feel after bieng with someone for so long? I dont believe that. I have been with DH about 5 years and I dont feel that way at all. I cannot wait to see him every day adn I love him with all of my heart. I am so happy to wake up and fall asleep beside him. Anyway- I dont think the way you are feeling is “normal in a relationship”. please talk to your SO

Post # 5
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad’s health, but please don’t let that be the reason you enter into a marriage you don’t want. That’s not fair to you or your fiance.

A friend of mine was feeling pressured by his girlfriend’s family to marry her before he was ready because her dad was dying, and he was feeling miserable and trapped and ended up cheating on her.

In this case it sounds like you’re putting the pressure on yourself to stay. I think you should get counseling if you want to address your issues with your FI and try to work things out, or end things if you don’t.

Post # 6
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

whatever you do, don’t marry him in november.  postpone the wedding plans for now and get some counselling.

i was in the same boat.  i was with a guy for 7-8 years and he proposed but i never really felt like marrying him.  we never really had the relationship that i had expected to have with my husband.  i did finally decide to break it off and it was the best decision of my life.  i was so glad that i did not get married.  something in the back of my mind was telling me not to do it.  if you have that feeling, listen to it.  there is a reason why.

Post # 7
Member
20 posts
Newbee

@Yorkie820:  Hugs for you,Im so sorry about your dad and about the way your fiance is  treating you ..I dont feel that your dad would want you to marry someone that gonna treat his daughter so bad..I would go with my gut feeling,you just said he doesn’t even treat you like his girlfriend or much less his soon to be wife,dont settle,take some steps back and think about all this……Just because he comes home doesn’t mean he love you, ……you cannot marry someone feeling this way and that makes you feel so unwanted. I know it hurts now,but save yourself from the all the heartache in the future…Once again im so sorry to hear this.

 

Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mypinkshoes:  Good advice

I agree with these lovely ladies. dont marry him. I really hope that you find the courage to make the right decision for you. 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@Yorkie820:  Hugs… I’m not really sure what advice to give!! Hope it all works out.

Post # 10
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Yorkie820: Big hug… I agree with the comments above…you should honestly follow your heart and Im so sorry to hear about your dads illness. You should take the time to really honestly think about what makes you happy first and everything will fall into place.

Post # 11
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.

You still have your dad. I think you should talk to him about this. Ask for his advice. He wants what’s best for you, and I’m sure he’ll tell you his honest thoughts on the matter. I promise that he’d rather not see you get married than watch you marry a man he knows is wrong for you. And I also promise that it will mean the world to him if you confide in him and allow him to help you through this. He’s going to miss you too, you know. Let him do this for you.

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First sorry about your Dad and your situation. I say get out now. there a difference between the reality and having a wedding for apperances. By having a wedding it would almost be like a lie of omission. Getting married for the wrong reasons is going to cost you emotionally in addition to financially.

Even if Dad might not make to you getting married, it better for him to see you content and happy which you aren’t right now.

Post # 13
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Sorry to hear about your situation. As mentioned before I think that you both need to move your wedding date and get some counsiling. I think your father will be glad to see you happy versus seeing you misserable later on in life. I wish you two the best but please do whats best for yourself.

 
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