Post # 1
My FI and I are trying to figure out our wedding bands. Here’s my engagement ring:
It’s Platinum. He wants both our bands to be plain platinum bands which I’m fine with. BUT I’ve also fallen in love with the idea of a thin eternity band!
So I was thinking of getting both! However my FI doesn’t understand the idea of stackable rings and seems almost insulted that I would want another diamond ring. He says isn’t the engagement ring blingy enough, why do you want more? So I want your opinions! How can I convenience him?!
Below is not a picture of my ring, but what I think is similar to what it will look like with the plain platinum band.
Also I think the order of the rings would look best if I wore the engagement ring on the top with the plain ring in the middle and the eternity ring on the bottom. But the plain band would be my “offical” wedding band. Does this make sense? Am I nuts?!
Does anyone wear something similar so I can show him what it would look like?
Post # 3
What if you brought up the idea of the eternity band as an anniversary gift or mother’s gift (if you have children)?
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
Why not do the eternity band as an aniversary gift?
Post # 5
@pixiecat: I agree. Ask if he’d consider adding to the “stack” for anniversaries, milestones, etc.
Post # 6
I have thought of that, but I don’t want to wait for our anniversary! =P
Post # 7
I have a similar ering and I want an eternity band or something like it as well! I don’t know how to convince your FI though, mine doesn’t care what I get lol.
Post # 8
@jny1179: haha that’s great! Mine just doesn’t see the point! He says the e-ring is plenty blingy and doesn’t see why waste money on a 3rd ring. He says in the end I can get whtever I want, but I want him to want it too!
Post # 9
I think waiting is your best bet. As much as you may not want to, think about how much better he’d feel if he gave it to you as a gift, AND you’d still get the ring you wanted.
Two win’s are better than a ‘one win right now’, I’d say!
Post # 10
@dancingfox: Ok how about this, I have heard people explain having three rings as symbolizing your past (e-ring), present (wedding band), and future (eternity band) together. Do you think he might like that idea?
Post # 11
Is there any event that is sooner, if you do not want to wait a year? It could be a birthday, of a “first married christmas” present (which is only a few months)
Post # 12
The solitaire and plain band look fine to me. I would ask for an extra diamond band for my 5th anniversary
Post # 13
@pixiecat: This is pretty awesome! I may use this. Thanks!
Post # 14
@dancingfox: Yes, sorry, I’m with the Bees who suggest waiting at least a year for an annivery ring. Your FI is right, you already have a beautiful blingy engagement ring, and an extra band is a frivolous purchase. If he’s objecting to spending money this way, I think you need to respect his opinion. Besides, the ring will have so much more meaning if you wait for an anniversary.
You might bully him into buying the eternity ring now, but there are no magic words to actually change the situation.
Now, if you want to get an eternity wedding band instead of the plain band, that’s different. But if you just want extra bling, and he objects, you’re being a greedy gobbler. (; It happens to the best of us, lol.
Post # 15
I don’t get stackable wedding bands either.
How about stacking on your right hand and keeping the wedding finger to two rings, as is tradition?
Post # 16
Maybe seeing things from his (possible) perspective will help you. Either to decide to wait, or to at least be less frustrated with him in your discussions about this.
You have a gorgeous e-ring that symbolizes his commitment to you and asking you to be his wife. You are in agreement about getting a plain wedding band to symbolize your wedding. You want a third ring. Not for any symbolism, just because you think it is pretty. You want an expensive diamond ring. Just cause it’s pretty. At a time when you’re spending a ton of other money on lots of other things. And right after buying two other expensive (and pretty) rings. You can kind of see his point, can’t you? If your fiance is anything like me, the best strategy is admitting it is unnecessary and frivolous, and saying you just want it anyways. Don’t try to justify it, because he’ll see right through that. If I were him the best way to make me feel okay about it would be saying “Yea I know it is totally unnecessary and expensive but I’m just really in love with the look and since we can afford it I’d love if you could be okay with me buying it.” Trying to justify it as somehow necessary is likely to make him feel like what you’re already getting is (in your eyes) inadequate and/or like you have different ideas about what is necessary and what isn’t.