Post # 1
Hurts so much to say this but I am not sure what to do. My mother has been in and out the hospital the last month, having another major surgery this friday and we have put the whole wedding on hold. My mother has wanted so much for my wedding these past few months. We have everything major booked, two months out from the wedding (sept) but the last month I haven’t even spoke about the wedding or the wedding plans.
I do not know if my mother will be here in two months time, here body seems that it just can not take anymore, my father is completely broken with everything going on and can’t bring myself to planning the rest of my wedding.
I love my fiance soo much, I want to marry him I want to be with him (we have been planning a long distance wedding due to me traveling back 2 years ago to look after my mother),but all of that has gone to silence… but an acceptable silence.
My family would accept canceling the wedding, my co workers and friends will probably distance themselves from me but I am so lost right now. Its not a money issue its really an emotional one. I don’t know where I am.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you are going through this… big *HUGS* to you! Without going into detail, I know what it’s like to deal with an ailing parent. I say don’t “cancel” your wedding, but just postpone it. Just because now isn’t the greatest time for a big celebration, one day it will be. I know it’s hard to “see the light” now, but I promise you, one day you will be happy again and everything will be ok. Just take this time now to be with your family and love and support each other. You will never have these moments again, so treasure them. It sounds like you and your FI have a strong relationship… this is one bump in your many years together… I have faith that you can get through it with each others’ love.
Post # 4
if its not a money issue you should just have the wedding as planned… what more needs to be done? hire a planner, or just cancel it and elope if your coworkers and friends do not understand (also rtn the gifts) then they were not really ur frirends. but I would have the wedding as planned
Post # 5
My parents (mainly my mother) is paying the venue and catering, really wanted us to get married stateside in their hometown, at the moment we haven’t finalized menus or paid because I know they are not in the position to discuss it. So I know in about a month we will have to see about getting the contract in our names and paying for it if my fiance and I are going to have a wedding. I am so grateful my parents at the time offered to help.
Part of me knows that having the wedding without my mother would crush my father and he will not be there if she is still in hospital. Its hard. I dont know how my mother will feel about me having the wedding if she is not well enough to attend.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry you’re going though all of this! I’m afraid I don’t have much advice other than recommending that you check out Mrs. Pineapple’s posts. Your situation reminds me of hers. Good luck! I’m sure it will all work out in the end.
Post # 7
i’m am sorry to hear that you are going through this. i’m sure caring for an ailing parent is rather stressful. why don’t you just postpone your wedding?
how about if you and FI just have an officiant marry you with your mom and dad present, in the hospital, or wherever your mom is situated?
if you explain the situation to everyone, i’m sure they will understand. when it comes to people, just remember, “those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter,” courtesy of Dr. Seuss, btw.
then, just postpone the wedding for a later time. this way, you can have the best of both worlds.
i hope everything turns out for the best for you.
Post # 8
If possible, maybe you should talk to your Mom and ask her what she thinks you should do. She may want you to wait so that she can try to get better and attend, or not want to distract from your wedding with her illness. OR she may want you to go ahead as planned. Momma knows best.
Post # 9
I wish you the best of luck in this tough decision. If it is not that you don’t want ot marry your finace, have you considered moving up the wedding in order to ensure your mom will be there for it. Maybe you won’t be able to have the exact same vendors but you could certainly do the marriage now and celebrate later, when you and your family is up to it. It sounds like it means a lot to your mom to be at your wedding and if you still want to marry your FI, maybe you can find a way to change plans for her. Again, this is not easy but it sounds like you are aware of the weight of the decision and will do what’s right for you, your FI and your family, good luck.
Post # 10
Bee hugs! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I don’t think there’s a wrong or a right answer. The only thing I can suggest is talking to you FI about it and also talking to your father about it. I hope everything works out.
Post # 11
I have to agree, as much as you don’t want to you need to try and discuss this with your parents and see what they think. You’re mom may not want you to cancel your wedding that she has waiting for all this time. She will take care of Dad being there as well. Talk to your fiance at the very least and see where he stands on the situation.
So sorry to hear you are going through this. You will find the strength to get through this. When you need us the hive is here.
Post # 12
I am so sorry! Know that you have lots of Bee love coming your way! It will all work out eventually, and you are fortunate to have your fiance by your side to support you while your mom is going through this.
Post # 13
My favorite teacher in college had a wife that was very sick with cancer. She only had months to live, and the wedding was a year away. Before she died, her daughter and son-in-law got in their wedding attire and had the preist go in the hospital and married them there a few days before she passed. They’re still planning on having the big wedding next year, but they wanted to be official and have her mom there for it. It was a sweet idea, one that meant a lot to them, and they’ll never forget.
Something like that might be a good idea for you. If you know you still want to marry your FI, then just do it now while your mom is still here. Don’t cancel it, she probably wouldn’t want you to do that.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
Post # 14
My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. It sounds to me that your mother really would love to see you get married. I think that is always a parent’s wish. Since your mother is not in the best of health would it be possible to expedite the wedding, and have a small intimate ceremony your mother can attend. I am sure it will be very meaningful to your mother and father. Then maybe in a year or later, you can have more of a celebratory reception.
I would not worry about what other people think. Your family comes first. Anyone that could not understand this situation and totally empathize is not worth having as a friend.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You must be in so much pain right now. I wish you, your mother, and your family the best. Your wedding is your own decision, whether you choose to move it up, postpone it, have it as planned, or cancel. It is okay to cancel a wedding and marry your fiance on your own terms. The wedding was never for your co-workers. If you want to ensure your mother’s presence, can you get dressed up with your fiancé and have a minister or friend ordained for the day marry you in your mother’s room? Do what feels right to you and all the best –
Post # 16
Lots of hugs and prayers going your way. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. There really is no right or wrong answer here. If I was in your position, I know it maybe hard but I would talk to my mother and see what she says as well as my FI. It is ok if you want to cancel your wedding. Yes you have things paid for and no, money is not an issue but dont let any of that bombard you. Family is the most important thing. See what both of them say. I love the idea from some PP and thought the same thing right away is to do a small, intimate ceremony with just you and your FI parents and then you guys can do the big thing when things settle down. The only people’s opionons you need to worry about are yours, your FI and your guys parents. No one else matters. Good luck!