I want to have kids but he's so "lazy"!!

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
4043 posts
Honey bee

@His_missus:  Maybe he wants to have kids, but isn’t actually ready yet. If you are young, then this may be why. I would suggest having an honest conversation about this and communicating each others concerns. 


Post # 4
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

@His_missus:  My FI is the same way!! we actually agreed that we wanted to have kids soon, but we barely had any sex! probably 3 or 4 times a month. For us this is normal we dont have a big sex drive and we are happy this way, I’m 22 and his 34. So what I decided to do was track exactly what days of the month I was ovulating and then just try to have sex mostly on those days or at least one of them (preferably the one where I was most fertile) and it worked! we tried for two months and now I’m 8wks pregnant =) hopefully it works for you too!

Good Luck

Post # 6
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@His_missus:  If you have been trying maybe he feels stressed? I understand your want to have a baby. I would start charting if you aren’t already doing so because your best times to get pregnant are on your ovulation days. Go to Fertility Friend and educate yourself on charting. Perhaps that will help you get pregnant sooner, and you guys could also (given that he still wants to try) compromise on days to have sex.

Post # 8
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

@His_missus:  I’m sorry I thouhgt it was just a sex thing. Trust me I know is not always as easy as I made it seem with my comment, before I got pregnant this time around we were trying for a year and a half with no luck (I wasn’t tracking my ovulation thou) and then when we finally got pregnant I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks =( it was a very devastating time. Maybe you just need to have another heart to heart with your husband and let him know this is really bothering you, and he’ll get on board and try harder this time around.

Post # 10
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@His_missus:  all it takes is one time! 😉 DH and I only had sex once the cycle I got pregnant.

That being said, if you are unhappy with your sex life you need to communicate that to your DH.

Post # 11
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@His_missus:  Maybe you two should visit your gynocologist together. He/she can review what it means for you to have PCOS and what you both need to do to increase your chances of getting pregnant. Sometimes we need to hear the facts from an expert to clearly understand a situation. 

If that’s not option, what about reading some books together about fertility and PCOS? Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? If not, maybe you could read it first and have him read key chapters?

Post # 12
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

DH came back for one night and was otherwise away the entire month i got pregnant. it only takes once!

Post # 13
6928 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I understand your struggle with your cycle – I have PCOS and mine is ridiculous. I have no clue when I ovulate. I would suggest going and getting some OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits). They are basically like pregnancy tests but they test to see when you’re ovulating – you use them daily for a month or so. Then you try and do the deed on the days it registers that you’re ovulating, plus you can start charting once you know when you ovulate. That will help you narrow it down for future months. 🙂

If you’re not happy with your sex life, that is another thing entirely. Definitely discuss this with him and let him know that you’re feeling like he doesn’t want it. It could be an underlying factor – he could feel stressed by the idea of trying to have a baby, he could be stressed about other things, etc.

Good luck. 🙂

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