Post # 1
So… My fiance is 24, and I’m 23 and we are both virgins. It’s just how we were raised and a part of our belief system, and we are really happy we’ve made it this far… but we are REALLY excited that we will be having sex less than a year from now!! yay!
I couldn’t find any posts about this except from bees that were really worried about it. I really don’t have any anxiety about having sex, but obviously I have no experience and I would love to hear any advice anyone has to offer on how to make the night easier/more special, and I love hearing people’s stories haha!
It doesn’t have to be wedding night either, if you have a good first time story or advice I’d love to hear it.
Post # 3
*cricket* – only if you asked me this question 15yrs ago LOL! Seriously….that’s so special for you both. Only advice I can give is, take it slow that night…no need to rush! bzzzz…
Post # 4
@MrsRobertson2015: hehe i guess it is a little bit of a personal subject thanks!
Post # 5
@FutureMrsT1221: i think it depends on how much other stuff you’ve done besides sex. When FH and I lost our virginity to each other, it didn’t hurt, didn’t bleed or anything. My friends had told me to use lube, so that probably helped a lot since it was the first time. Just relax and have fun with it. some of my favorite times with FH have been when something funny/awkward happened during sex and we just laughed through it. you shouldn’t be nervous 🙂
Post # 6
my first piece of advice would be not to put too much pressure on yourselves. Don’t set the bar too high – it will NOT be the best sex you ever have. It may be awkward. It might be prohibitively painful. You may not get very far. That’s ok. Just relax and enjoy being together. You’ll have plenty of time to practice!
Ok, now time to get graphic. If you’re a virgin you’re likely pretty, er, tight, and sex is likely to hurt at first. I know my first time I thought wow, nothing’s ever gonna fit in there! But then we practiced and it got better very quickly. If you don’t want to deal withy that on the wedding night, might I suggest “practicing” with a toy? This may go against your morals or may be icky to you and if that’s the case then forget I said it. But it’s something to think about.
Just be natural. Just enjoy each other and let things happen as they happen. Things might work out great or there may be some weirdness. That’s ok. Just enjoy it and keep practicing and don’t worry about how it’s “supposed” to be.
Post # 7
Take it sssllllooooowww, don’t actually start penetration until you feel like you’re gonna die if you don’t do it right now, haha. You want to give your body as much time as possible to be as prepared as possible. When you are extremely aroused, your vagina lubricates and expands to several times its normal size inside (in terms of depth), making sex more comfortable. If you aren’t feeling it, just wait, because especially for a first time, not having that prep time will make it not fun.
If you know what you like already, and you want to make sure you finish the first time, I would even encourage you to consider making sure you’ve had an orgasm before penetration starts, because first times for dudes often don’t take super long. But if you don’t really care whether you finish or not, it doesn’t matter, you can always go again later.
And just in case you still don’t have as much natural lubricant as would be ideal (some people produce more or less than others) you probably want to have some lube available. (If you are using a condom, make sure the lube is water-based. Oil or silicone based will weaken a condom.)
Post # 8
@FutureMrsT1221: First off, congrats on getting married, and yay for sex!!!!!!! hahaha. Don’t put your expectations too high for the wedding night. Since it’s his first time too… things might be a little bit (or a LOT a bit) quicker than you were hoping for. There’s always morning-after wedding sex 🙂 🙂 If he drinks a lot during the wedding night, he might not be able to ejaculate- don’t take that as an insult, some guys just respond that way to alcohol.
Post # 9
@SarahCF: we have talked about not having high expectations 🙂 i mean, i’m imagining it will be a special night no matter what but we are not expecting the sex to be perfect. and in terms of the toy- that is something i probably wouldn’t do, but i am considering letting the gyno break some things in if they are still intact, if you know what i mean lol. i would hope that would help!
Post # 10
@chic_and_fabulous: thank you!! congrats to you too! and that is really good to know!
Post # 11
This all really depends on if you’ve done other things or not. If you’ve done other stuff then it won’t really be scary or anything. But I’m going to give you advice as if you’ve never done anything.
First, he isn’t going to last long at all if he’s never had sex. You’ll probably feel a little disappointed, but sex gets so much better the more you have it! So, don’t worry about it.
Second, use lots of lube!
Don’t put too much pressure on the wedding night. It will be a little awkward and the more you loosen up and relax the better it will be!
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2014 - Historic Rosemont Manor
@FutureMrsT1221: Yay date twins!! I agree with Sally_g_2014, if something awkward happens, laugh it off or pretend it didn’t happen. The 2nd time my fiance & I did the dirty, there were a few awkward sounds. I was mortified and pretended it didn’t happen at the time. We laugh about it now and honestly, it’s a good memory. My only other advice is to pee afterwards, especially if you’re prone to getting UTIs. I get them all the time & peeing immediately after sex really does help prevent them, for me at least.
Post # 13
I would just not pressure yourself to have sex on the night. Get used to being naked around each other, enjoying each other in a way which does not involve full sex… and after a few weeks then you can have sex. What’s the rush? You’ll be together forever, right?
The reason we don’t jump right into sex is because it’s a learning process, with various stages along the way. Don’t think you have to go right for the finish line at the first attempt!
Post # 14
@Tomato22: we haven’t really done anything to speak of haha. so that’s good to know!
Post # 15
i was a wedding night virgin (tho we had done other stuff) and my first time was very painful/uncomfortable and i bled a little bit. we ended up just stopping because i was getting too frustrated (my husband was very understanding about it) and we were both tired, so we just decided to try again another time. it took months of practice before sex actually started to feel good for me.
both of you are probably going to be nervous, so don’t stress if it’s not the romantic, magical night that you’re expecting. you have the rest of your lives to work at it, so there’s no need to rush into anything.
i agree with previous posters about lube. it will definitely help. but the thing that helped me the most was using a vibrator as my husband was going in. the sensation of the vibrator distracted me from the pain/discomfort and helped me relax.
Post # 16
@MrsS_to_be: aw hi date twin!! it’s such a pretty time of year!
haha that’s hilarious. thinking about it now i would probably be really embarrassed. but honestly, we are really comfortable with each other so i hope that we will be able to laugh stuff like that off. that’s awesome that you can laugh about it now!!
and ive never had a UTI. but i have had a YI and those suck and i’ve heard UTIs are worse. so thanks for that advice! i didn’t know that.