(Closed) I want to help my SIL.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would give her just a little bit of time to get used to being engaged.  I know I got a lot of offers to help (from firends and family, but not recent brides) and I just wanted a little time to be excited about being engaged.

Bridal magazines were the sweetest gifts!  I would tell her about Weddingbee too! Do you have a planning blog you can share with her?

SHe may still be too shy to ask for more help and in a little while you can gauge if it’s shyness or she is doing ok and doesn’t need much help. 

Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

That’s precious! It sounds like both of you are sweet souls. I think what you’re doing right now is great, other than that I would wait for her to come to you with requests.

Post # 6
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh, and you can make specific offers to research things she probably doesn’t really want to do (like hotel room blocks) and forward the information to her so she has more choices.

Post # 7
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think what you’ve already done is SO sweet!  I would just wait for her to ask for your help and go from there.  She may need more help in some areas than in others.  I’m sure she’ll go to you for advice!  Just don’t be like my mom LOL.  If she asks your advice then doesn’t take it, don’t freak out.  HA!

Post # 9
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What you’ve already done is great.  Like other said, I would point her in the direction of Weddingbee and even Weddingbee PRO (possible vendors!) and just let her enjoy being engaged for a bit so it can all sink in.  Just tell her you are there whenever she needs you and I’m sure she’ll take you up on it. 

Post # 10
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

One thing I wish my FSIL did more was spend time with me!  You are already being thoughtful and so nice, but if you live near her, maybe make an extra effort to meet her for a drink or coffee.  It doesn’t have to be all-wedding-all-the-time, but just being around you will let her ask whatever she wants help with.

Post # 11
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

You both sound so sweet and considerate of each other which doesn’t always happen. I’m happy to hear that it has happened in your case!

I would definitely just mention things here or there, and like another poster said, just don’t be offended if she doesn’t take up any of your offered suggestions. After a few weeks, if she hasn’t asked for your help, just ask her how she’s doing with the planning and if she needs anything from you! I’m sure she’ll take the cue and start assigning you some things!

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