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If you guys have talked about marriage before, just stress how important it is for your daughter to be there for it. I'm guessing that he won't care so much since it is going to be a relatively budget-friendly wedding. Are you already living together? I think that would be the biggest hang-up if you aren't...
@jo.lee: Yes, we already live together. I guess I should preface my request with how much I love him, etc. Sort of an unproposal. Thanks for the input!
Well, I practically have. I still want him to ask ME. I know, old fashioned, but due to his understated personality, it would mean the world to me.
@mermaideve: I respectfully submit that "practically have" is not actually have. I'm not trying to come across as a hard nose but if getting married in a month when your daughter is able to be there is your priority then it sounds like you'd better get a move on and ask him. You've got a few days to plan something for this weekend - wishing you the best of luck!
All you can do is tell him why, when, how, etc about your feelings regarding this, including that you want him to ask you. It's up to you guys - you already know what you need to do, so get to it instead of asking us! ;-)
Tel him why it's important to have her there and he needs to get a move on. :) This is serious, not just a "I want THIS date" problem.
Make aromatic dinner or Go out on a date,and tell him, be honest with him, and tell him everything you feel,want and like. Tell him the wedding plan. And Start planning everything. You can do it!
@mermaideve: That seems like a really short engagement... especially for someone who isn't engaged yet.
Is there any particular reason why, other than your daughter's visit, this should happen so suddenly? I mean, wouldn't she come back for a wedding at a later date?
I really do think that is possible to have such a short engagement, but only if he's willing to "get engaged".
As far as planning the wedding, it sounds to me like you're not expecting a big to-do... just a simple ceremony and dinner with family and friends. Honestly, we have more people than that at our family Christmas dinner, so organizing a wedding with 20 guests sounds easy peasy to me!
How long have you guys been together? If you haven't been together that long, I think its asking a lot of him to skip over the engagement period (and the proposal). Had you previously discussed a date of when you were planning getting married? If you were thinking a year or two down the road - one month is a HUGE leap from that.
I think you should discuss your idea with you boyfriend, but don't pressure him to get married in such a short period of time if he is not comfortable with the idea. If he hasn't proposed yet, he might not be ready for marriage. That will not change just because your daughter is coming to visit.
Good luck!
@mermaideve: Yay! I was just wondering the other day how your talk went with the Mr.
Exciting! Did he give you a more specific time frame for the engagement and wedding? Is there any possibility your daughter could come back next year for the wedding?
We haven't gotten engaged yet...I want to ask him about it, but he already asked what ring I wanted and knows my daughter is coming on the 18th...so no more news...yet. He did say he thinks my daughter should officiate when we get married! Also that we could pay half for my daughter and her boyfriend (in Toronto, we are in Oregon) when it was time for our wedding, for them to both be able to come. I know he gets paid tomorrow, so I should probably just let time take its course. He may be stopping at the jewelry store after work tomorrow, for all I know. Thanks for the love, bees!
It has not been a fun month in our relationship. I did have a great time with my daughter during her visit. He came up with two more "I am going to propose/buy a ring when/after..." and then dropped the ball when those events cane to pass. He had explanation for his change of plans/action. I am going back to therapy and have asked him to do the same. I wonder if we are going to work it out.
@mermaideve: aww I'm sorry, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise? It's probably a better idea to work as much as you can out before you get married as opposed to after.
@mermaideve: That's not good, I know you were looking forward to it. But it was probably for the best. I bet he felt under a HUGE amount of pressure. Imagine it from his point of view - proposing, planning a wedding (even if small) etc all within 1 month and maybe only 1 months pay.
I hope it all works out for you.
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Hi ladies, (and gents),
The excellent news is that my daughter who moved to another country a year ago is going to visit for two weeks over Thanksgiving.
The dilemma is this: it will be a long time until she can afford to visit again. She is the one person who MUST be present at our wedding.
I want to ask BF tonight if we could get married on November 27, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I checked and the little log church we'd like to get married in is free that day (and only a $60 rental)! I've been checking on places for a dinner after. I think a full on reception at a hall we have to decorate would be a bit much as far as expense and stress. I also know where we want to get our dessert buffet from, we've talked about it. It would involve only about 20 guests.
Here's the complication: we aren't engaged. He is wearing a ring I bought him, a promise ring. I already have all the decorations for the church and most of my outfit.
Other than not talking to him about it when he's hungry or about to fall asleep, what ideas do you gals have?