Post # 1
Hi ladies, (and gents),
The excellent news is that my daughter who moved to another country a year ago is going to visit for two weeks over Thanksgiving.
The dilemma is this: it will be a long time until she can afford to visit again. She is the one person who MUST be present at our wedding.
I want to ask BF tonight if we could get married on November 27, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I checked and the little log church we’d like to get married in is free that day (and only a $60 rental)! I’ve been checking on places for a dinner after. I think a full on reception at a hall we have to decorate would be a bit much as far as expense and stress. I also know where we want to get our dessert buffet from, we’ve talked about it. It would involve only about 20 guests.
Here’s the complication: we aren’t engaged. He is wearing a ring I bought him, a promise ring. I already have all the decorations for the church and most of my outfit.
Other than not talking to him about it when he’s hungry or about to fall asleep, what ideas do you gals have?
Post # 3
If you guys have talked about marriage before, just stress how important it is for your daughter to be there for it. I’m guessing that he won’t care so much since it is going to be a relatively budget-friendly wedding. Are you already living together? I think that would be the biggest hang-up if you aren’t…
Post # 4
@jo.lee: Yes, we already live together. I guess I should preface my request with how much I love him, etc. Sort of an unproposal. Thanks for the input!
Post # 5
Would you be open to the idea of proposing to him?
Post # 6
Well, I practically have. I still want him to ask ME. I know, old fashioned, but due to his understated personality, it would mean the world to me.
Post # 7
@mermaideve: I respectfully submit that “practically have” is not actually have. I’m not trying to come across as a hard nose but if getting married in a month when your daughter is able to be there is your priority then it sounds like you’d better get a move on and ask him. You’ve got a few days to plan something for this weekend – wishing you the best of luck!
Post # 8
Can I ask, is there a reason that he is waiting to ask you?
Post # 9
All you can do is tell him why, when, how, etc about your feelings regarding this, including that you want him to ask you. It’s up to you guys – you already know what you need to do, so get to it instead of asking us! 😉
Post # 10
Tel him why it’s important to have her there and he needs to get a move on. 🙂 This is serious, not just a “I want THIS date” problem.
Post # 11
Make aromatic dinner or Go out on a date,and tell him, be honest with him, and tell him everything you feel,want and like. Tell him the wedding plan. And Start planning everything. You can do it!
Post # 13
@mermaideve: That seems like a really short engagement… especially for someone who isn’t engaged yet.
Is there any particular reason why, other than your daughter’s visit, this should happen so suddenly? I mean, wouldn’t she come back for a wedding at a later date?
Post # 14
I really do think that is possible to have such a short engagement, but only if he’s willing to “get engaged”.
As far as planning the wedding, it sounds to me like you’re not expecting a big to-do… just a simple ceremony and dinner with family and friends. Honestly, we have more people than that at our family Christmas dinner, so organizing a wedding with 20 guests sounds easy peasy to me!
Post # 15
How long have you guys been together? If you haven’t been together that long, I think its asking a lot of him to skip over the engagement period (and the proposal). Had you previously discussed a date of when you were planning getting married? If you were thinking a year or two down the road – one month is a HUGE leap from that.
I think you should discuss your idea with you boyfriend, but don’t pressure him to get married in such a short period of time if he is not comfortable with the idea. If he hasn’t proposed yet, he might not be ready for marriage. That will not change just because your daughter is coming to visit.
Post # 16
UPdate! WE are not getting married this month, but we are getting engaged. I am excited!