Post # 1
but venting will help:) So thanks bees for allowing me to vent the stupidity that is my husband!
I love him dearly.
I have had a terribly rough week at work, he has too. Our jobs are stressful but in different ways. While he is busy with software deadlines (he is a software engineer) I am busy putting up with peoples crap.
You see… I am front desk person at an Executive Suite company. I do love my job, but I was hired Part Time because it’s so much easier to deal with kissing only so much A$$ 5 hours a day, than it is for 8.
Basically, we rent out offices to different companies. Different styles of companies, for insteance… We have the corporate headquarters for a Gym, a few attorneys, and a staffing agency. So I am CONSTANTLY dealing with jerkfaces.
We had a 40 person meeting, that I had to make coffee & water for, and who were relying on me to set up their meeting, because my boss called in sick that day, I was the only one there… That was Monday, then everything that could go wrong, did go wrong the rest of the week. So I tell my husband about this week I had, having to deal with all these people. different personality types, etc…
He acted like he didn’t hear me and then just goes into how he is stressed at his job. All I wanted is a hug and comforting. I am so mentally drained. I actually really do LOVE my job. But this week, something was weird, in the water or something. People were at their rudest, and I always have to be smiling and cheerful because I am the first impression for so many companies. I know his deadlines are stressful too. I think he has one-up syndrome!
But why are guys like this? Does anyone have the answer?
Post # 3
@Ronneykay: My husband does this too sometimes….it’s his way of empathizing I think. The way I handle it is by saying “DH thanks for sharing and I am sorry you had a rough week but what I really need right now is a hug and some reassurance that I am loved.” They are not the best all the time of understanding that all you need is a nod and smile and hug.
Post # 4
hehe ya, I KNOW this in my head, but I can’t seem to get over all this crap! LOL… it was seriously a tough week! We have been married 20 years! I should know this… But somehow I think he should just not be a jerkface and say… I’m sorry hon, like I do when he has bad days… AND… to top it off…
My car needs work! Gonna cost like 1400 to get out, so now we have even MORE togetherness, we are carpooling! LOL yea my week rocks ! 🙂
I have a sense of humor about it really, but I still wanna punch him in the chest now. He is working late, and now I kind of miss him. haha
Post # 5
I think you might need a nerf gun for such occasions!! 😉
Post # 6
Uuugghhhh, FI does the same thing. If I’m having a rough day, either from work or wedding planning, house buying, etc. and I vent to him, he’ll just blow it off and complain about how stressed he is. I totally get he’s stressed (He has a full time and part time job), but sometimes I just want to complain and be hugged!
*Shakes head* Boys…
Post # 7
My husband does the same thing. I can say something and sometimes there’s no responce. One day I showed him a cute outfit I bought for our grandaughter and silence. I couldn’t believe I’m showing him something and he has absolutely nothing to say, I’m a little peeved. I sit in silence…. you don’t wanna talk to me…. I won’t talk to you. Later that night I tell him “It really irks me when I say something to you and you don’t say a word, like today when I showed you Savannah’s outfit”. He replies “Yes I did, I told you it was cute” WTF? He SWORE he responded to me. I said “Yeah, in your mind”… it then dawns on me. Maybe that’s what he does, he thinks he’s answered me but just thinks it. I think from now on I’m just going to have to ask him “Are you expecting me to read your mind or do you want to speak”?
I don’t know if your husband could be doing this or maybe he doesn’t know how to respond. As women we just like to vent, we don’t expect anyone to fix it…just listen. Maybe you could tell him that, you just want him to honestly listen and a hug couldn’t hurt either.
Post # 8
GREAT! nd to top it off… Miley is giving up hits! friggin A!…
Yea I like hearing other stories, so I know he is a typical male… that is what they do hehe…
Post # 9
@WillyNilly Nerf guns for all! 🙂
Post # 10
@WillyNilly: for sure! we used to have alot of them, cuz our son was younger, he is now 16 and gave them all away to his cousins! I KNEW i should have kept a couple. He even had the machine gun (kept getting jammed, but he had it hehe)
Post # 11
I just want to say that I feel for you!
I work in the executive corporate office industry and am an account manager but also do some reception.. It is stressful having to put up with so many different high level managers acting like they are more important than everyone else!
DH is an investment banker so when I say I’m stressed he looks at me like “Really?”.. Cue rage! Haha
Post # 12
I think I have the same problem as you….except I’m your fiancee in this scenario! I often seem to “hi-jack” my fiancee’s work issues with my own, without meaning to. It’s only when he brings it to my attention that I realise I took his “me” time away. It’s not that I want to be selfish…but I want to vent about my own problems, too!
Anyway….I’m working on this. But if your fiancee is anything like me, he doesn’t mean to be doing what he’s doing 😉
Post # 13
I’m late but mine just pulled that on me too! After a particularly frustrating day, i was telling him about it and he interrupted me and said, “I need a complaining break.” ARRRGGG!!!
Post # 14
I think you need to have a talk with him and ask him why he turns conversations about YOU into conversations about HIM. He probably doesn’t realize that he’s doing it. As others have said, it may just be his way of empathizing with you. Maybe you can tell him something along the lines of, “I’m sorry you’re also stressed out but I really need your love and support right now, so can we please focus on my problem right now and talk about yours a little later on in a different conversation?” You probably need to word that a little better to make it sound nicer, but hopefully you get the general gist of what I’m saying here–when you’re talking your problems, the focus should be on YOU–not shifting to him and his problems–and vice-versa. YOUR problems don’t necessary always need to come first, either, because whoever brings their problems up first or has the more pressing problem should be comforted first while the other person should wait their turn for a later conversation if they also have problems they’d like to talk about. In this case, he didn’t want to talk about his problems until you started talking about yours so he could obviously afford to wait. Learn to take turns in conversations. 🙂