(Closed) I want to register, he doesn’t really

posted 8 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

He may need to warm up to the idea. Give him a couple more months. He may come around. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in my mid-40s and, like you this is my first.  It’s his second.  Most of our stuff is getting old.  I persuaded him to register and I explained that I don’t expect people to buy me stuff, but if we register and want to replace, we can take advantage of completion discounts.

Post # 5
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You should definitely register.  I think people will expect that you have a registry.  Are you not having a shower? 

Post # 6
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

We haven’t talked about it. We are both in late 40s too. I don’t want to get a bunch of dumb gifts that we can’t use (a possible result of NOT registering) but I don’t want to seem “greedy” by registering somewhere. Hmm….we live pretty simply and don’t know what would be handy other than cash, and I’m not going to ask for that. What to do, what to do!

Post # 7
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m almost 40 but he’s ten years younger and this is a first marriage for both of us.  Although we’ve both owned our own homes for years I was a single mom and he a student so most of our stuff was hand-me-downs and worn out so we decided to register.  As a guest I prefer a registry for gift buying east so hopefully others feel the same way ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2004

Tell him he can hold the scanner. Most guys I know didn’t want to register until they got to play with the scanner gun. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

I hear ya…it IS easier if you know what they want! I think we will have to register online if we do. Guests coming from Mass, California, Washington. Any good places to register online?

Post # 10
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would stress to him that it is a matter of convenience for guests. I’m going to several weddings this year, and it is just so much better to have a registry to choose from. It would never cross my mind to not get you two a gift just because you are older. I would still want to celebrate your marriage and give you something as a token of my joy for you.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m going to be 45 when we get married and we’ve both had our own homes plus now have our combined households. We have more “stuff” then we could ever need. I don’t plan to register, and honestly, I’m hoping for cash (of course, I’ never askf or that)! It does seem a little silly at our age and level of stuff owning, to register, but I think everyone is different. If you have needs, of course you should register. If he doesn’t want to, tell him you are going without him, and there are som,e pink flowered dishes you can’t wait to register for.

๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

At a lot of places if you register there, you get a discount off all of the items not purchased off the registry after the wedding. You could try and convince him by saying that, basically you get a discount just to go shopping! Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You should give him a choice:  either he lets you register, or he will be in charge of returning the all the crap you will receive for your wedding.  My friends didn’t register since they were in their 30s and had limited storage space.  They wound up with all kinds of crap people regifted, plus 15 vases they didn’t need or like, plus 3/4 of a china set they didn’t love but decided to complete since they were so close to being done anyway.  

Tell your husband to register at Bed Bath and Beyond since they return stuff for cash, or Bloomingdales since wedding return credit never expires.  Otherwise, you will be running all over trying to return stuff to many stores and worrying about when the return credit will expire.

Post # 14
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Luckily, both of us agreed that it would be pretty silly for us to register as we combined two households and had to throw away/donate a ton of stuff!

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Go ahead and register for a few things at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.  Most people will want to give a gift or gift card and you can indicate on the registry that gift cards are welcome.  There’s lots of “guy” stuff at BB&B and you can always upgrade towels, sheets to a higher count, etc.

Post # 16
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m 44 (first marriage) and wasn’t going to register, but MOH talked me into it as a courtesy for guests who don’t know us that well (second cousins, co-workers, friends of my parents, etc.) and would have no clue what to give us. I imagine we’d otherwise get a bunch of stuff we don’t want/need and woud have to return or exchange; it just made sense to steer guests in the right direction.

I thought FI would get into it, but he’s taken very little interest in our registry. I’ve picked stuff that he’s gonna love, however, so I think we’ll both ultimately be glad we resistered. We did just one (Macy’s) and kept it pretty short and simple.

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