- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
I just need to vent a little…I know I’m being bitchy.
My wedding is Saturday. My finance and I are doing a very budget wedding (but still classy, in my opinion). I am doing all the decorations and flowers myself. The food is being done by myself, my best friend, my mother…and against my wishes, his mother.
I have…or at least HAD everything under control. That is, until his mother and his sister started going behind my back and telling everyone that I am doing too much, and I need to start delegating things to them or it is never going to get done. Everytime his mon sees me, she reminds me that she took off work all week (even though I told her that there was no reason to) and that she will help with anything…and everytime, I respond that everything is under control. I know exactly how I want everything, and I don’t want to have to sit down and explain it…and then possibly redo it when if it isn’t right. It will be a lot less stressful to me to do it myself. Nobody seems to understand that.
Sidenote, but his sister is just as persistant. She is determined to decorate our cars, even though I have told her dozens of times that I do NOT want anything done to the cars. She explained that she wouldn’t write anything embarrassing, just draw on the windows. I told her that wasn’t the point…I do not want it done. That doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason for her. She also threw a FIT about being escorted down the aisle just before the mothers. She said she has “put up with him for her entire life, and it’s time she got some recognition.” She also said she wanted to be in the room when I’m getting dressed, but I’m not allowing anyone in there buy my sister and my mom. I’m not even letting the photographer in there. Even after I told her and his mother this, they both questioned why they couldn’t come in. Neither one would accept that I don’t want ANYONE in there except the people necessary to getting me dressed…We will be locking the door, and at this point, I don’t care if their feelings get hurt if they try to come in.
I could go on and on about his sister, but she is a whole other story…
No offense to his mother, but I don’t like her style. It’s fine for her, but it is not for me. Her suggestions have included using her cake topper from her wedding 30 something years ago (she showed it to me, and it was tacky). She has also turned her nose up at everything I’m doing (like having a Wish Jar instead of a guestbook, or the design of our cakes.).
On top of all this, his family is kinda rubbing me the wrong way when it comes to money. I have never asked for a single penny from them. My finance and myself are paying for the wedding AND the rehearsal dinner. I came up with the menu for the reception and my mother, my best friend and I went through the list and decided what each of us were making. I wasn’t even going to ask his mother to do anything. However, she decided to add some dishes to the menu…things that I do not want or think we need (like mini cheesecakes and cheeseballs made of Velveeta), but she was insistant that she make them. So I caved in…I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
So last night, she calls me and asks if I would come over. She gave me a grocery list of the items she needs to make her stuff. So, I had to buy her groceries to make things that I don’t even want at the wedding…
Was it bitchy of me to have expected her to contribute the ingredients for the items she is making? My mother is paying for all of her items, and was not happy when I offered to pay for them. I know typically the wedding is the bride’s and her family’s responsibility…and the rehearsal is his family’s responsibility. His mother never offered to pay anything for the rehearsal…I accepted that, and decided not to press the issue. But for me to have to buy the ingredients for the items that she insisted that she make, even though I requested that she didn’t?
How do I just shake it off? I know everyone has issues with inlaws, but how do I not let them get to me? How do I make them understand that if I say I want something, they should accept my wishes and not try to go against what I want?