I want to skip contraception after the wedding but I don't want to get pregnant!

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

skinnypinkmartini:  While not as effective as more modern forms of birth control, understanding your cycles and using avoidance timing is fairly reliable if you have regular cycles. First thing you need to do is educate yourself. “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” is a very informative book and a good place to start. Also, you could learn alot from the Charters of the Hive thread. You will need to start by learning to take your basal body temperature every day and know what the patterns mean. This will help you learn (over time) when you ovulate and what days of your fertile window should be avoided. Ovulation predictor test strips can be bought cheeply from Amazon and can help you with this, although their intended purpous is not to help avoid pregnancy. You should also become more aware of your body and in tune with things like cervical mucous, cervical position, etc. Fertility Friend is a great app/website that can help you. You will need to just gather information and detect patterns in the first few months to make sure you ovualte in a somewhat regular pattern. Unfortunately, this method won’t work for anyone with very irregular cycles. Good luck.

Post # 3
6194 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

What is it about “non natural” that you’re looking to avoid? Because honestly, there are things like pulling out and natural family planning that you could try, but if those things were reliable, “non natural” bc wouldn’t be so popular.

Post # 4
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve heard of some couples having success with Natural Family Planning. I wouldn’t use this method because it isn’t really foolproof but it sounds like your best option. If you’re open to getting pregnant at any point then this method would be ok, but if you’re adamant about waiting 2 years it might not be a good choice. It also requires some planning and tracking on your part.

Post # 5
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We recently ditched condoms because we started TTC, but in the future I’ll probably used Natural Family Planning.  It invovles you knowing your cycles well through temping each morning, and can include other methods.  Because you are only fertile one week of the month you just need to avoid intercourse or use condoms during that week.  

Post # 6
10902 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

A couple in my family has been using natural family planning (charting, etc.) for more than two years and has been successful with this method.

Post # 7
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

skinnypinkmartini:  my parents used nfp and I have five siblings. After the first oops, my mom couldn’t chart accurately because hormonal changes so yeah. They ended up in separate room. My FI and I are trusting science for BC.  

Post # 8
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

It’s definitely NOT as effective as physical or hormonal options, but the rhythm method, when done correctly, can  be effective.  It requires you to schedule your intimacy around the calendar for when you’re least LIKELY to get pregnant (again, you COULD get pregnant any time).  I have several friends who use this method and haven’t had any issues for many years. More info here:



There’s also a copper IUD, it’s non-hormonal.  It does have side effects and things, but it’s a better choice for women who don’t want to have to worry about B/C and who don’t want synthetic hormones. 

Post # 9
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

As a PP mentioned, we could advise you best if you can help us understand more of what you DON’T want in a birth control method. There are lots of options with various pros/cons.

Post # 10
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have a few friends who charted with good success to avoid pregnancy.  The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility can help with this (this is not the rhythm method).

Post # 11
5815 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

skinnypinkmartini:  Look into IUD’s. I’m sensetive to hormones (cant take BCP), but used the Mirena and loved it. There is also a non-hormonal IUD. 

Post # 12
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would like to clarify, the “rhythm method” is NOT the same thing as the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), which is what lots of ladies on here use to chart their cycles.  Scheduling when it is safe and when it is not to have sex based on a calendar is only effective if you have very, very regular cycles (and most women don’t – all it takes is one month where you ovulate at a different time for you to get pregnant with the rhythm method).

My husband and I used FAM to avoid pregnancy for a year before we were ready to try for a baby, then we conceived on our first shot – I’m sure largely because we were just very lucky, but at least partly because I knew my cycle and my body very well, so we were able to time sex well for conception.  I second PPs suggestion to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and sign up on Fertility Friend – they have great educational material as well.  If you’re completely opposed to any other form of contraception, you’d have to be pretty committed to abstaining for about 1/3 of each month – however, if you’re open to using charting along with condoms (or some other barrier method, POM, etc.), you can still have a very active sex life and avoid pregnancy with a pretty high degree of certainty.

Post # 13
183 posts
Blushing bee

skinnypinkmartini:  you should try a combination of the withdrawel method and avoid sex when you’re likely to concieve. This time frame is normally the 7-10 days before ovulation, since sperm can survive for up to a week or more. I wouldnt bother checking your temperature every single day, its a hassle and the cost of those kits adds up. Normally you ovulate about 2 weeks after the first day of your period So avoid that second week and add a few extra days after as a buffer. If your body feels hot and u feel unusually sensitive, have light cramping, or want to have sex more than usual, thats a good sign you should avoid it. Worst case scenario, you get pregnant a year or two earlier than expected but you’re married. Life doesnt always pan out exactly how we want. I wouldnt recommend this method to everyone but i believe the risks associated with other forms of birth control are too high for someone in your situation.

Post # 14
293 posts
Helper bee

skinnypinkmartini:  For 4 years, all I did was chart my cycle and we used the withdrawl method during my fertile window. I didn’t get pregnant. Once we started TTC, I got pregnant the 2nd month we tried. If you are very aware of your cycle and your husband has enough control to pull out in time every time, you shouldn’t get pregnant. I do have an extremely regular cycle though, so I’m not sure if this would work if you don’t.

Post # 15
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Why do you want to change your method of contraception?  Is your FH aware of this decision?

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