Post # 1
Okay Bees. So this weekend was supposed to be funfilled. Which it was for the most part. Until the bomb exploded.
My BF’s best friend and his fiance came to town for an NFL game. No problem. I knew they were coming and we planned a few outings for us to hang out.
So my BF thinks they’ve been together for about the same amount of time as we have (3+ years). They have a child together. BF and I don’t have a child together. Regardless they are already engaged and have been for over a year. The best friend just came back from being in Pakistan (Army) for 1 year. Their son was born a few days before he left.
So since he returned they’ve been planning their wedding. Which initially my BF thought was in March (guys never really know this stuff). No big deal right. WRONG! They will be getting married Memorial Day weekend in their hometown. My BF, his best friend, and the fiance are all from the same city and state. WELL Memorial Day weekend is the weekend right before what we had on paper for our wedding (June 4th). They were discussing their wedding and how they’re going to have so many guests, etc. I was so on neddles because we are not engaged and I couldn’t say anything (like the fact that we have already planned to get married the following weekend). No one knows our plans and I can’t tell anyone until it’s official. It sucked!
NOW once I do get this proposal and we try to have our wedding the following weekend (which ours will be DW) it may seem like we did that on purpose and we did not. It’s not fair because I’ve put a lot of thought into our pre-planning. I haven’t booked anything but I’ve contacted vendors and pretty much have everything lined up. We just won’t pay for anything until I get the ring.
I tried so hard to plan this where it was not around anyone’s birthday or wedding. Now this!
Should I talk to my BF about it? I’ve been trying to stay off the talk to allow him a clear head to get the ring and plan a proposal. I’ve been really doing good and haven’t said anything “engagement related” in a few weeks.
Would you feel the same way?
We didn’t expect to have but about 20-30 people at our DW anyway but we figured they would be two of those people. We are having a big reception about a month later in our home city. So I guess if they don’t/can’t make the DW they will just maybe come to the reception. Uuugggghhhh!!!!
Post # 3
i guess part of the reason im feeling crappy about it is because i just didnt want them to think we planned around their day intentionally when thats totally not the case. i guess it also makes me more frustrated about the waiting process and with my bf because if we were already engaged we could of easily said when our wedding day was and all wouldve been understood. but when youre not engaged you cant say anything……uuugggghhhh
Post # 4
You said we and our as far as plans for what day you wanted, your BF should know that so saying something won’t change anything. I wouldn’t say anything. A good friend is getting married the weekend before me. I was engaged first and had my date first but who cares. Weddings happen all the time, people can either come or they can’t come. Don’t let it bother you, you can still do what you’ve been pre-planning or you may even change your mind. you never know.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t say anything either. If you are trying to give you BF a clear head before proposing, you should probably not bring up the wedding until he is ready. If you really want these people to be at your wedding, you might want to consider changing your date once you become engaged. I know it’s tough but stay strong!
Post # 6
Honestly, I would freaking out on the inside, but there isn’t really anything you could do about it. Sorry you have to feel this way.
Hopefully, nothing was booked.
Post # 7
I think I’m confused… I don’t really understand why this makes you so upset. I get the frustration from not being “officially engaged” so you can’t say anything, but I don’t get why getting married the weekend after is so bothersome? Is it because you really want your friends to be able to attend your wedding? Your friends will clearly know how much effort goes in to planning a wedding, and how dates are often determined by uncontrollable things such as venue availability, so I really don’t think they will be mad at you for having your wedding the weekend after theirs. Then again, this is just MY opinion.
Post # 8
Whatever you do, don’t badger your boyfriend. You don’t want to be the girl who wonders “Did I badger him into proposing?”
Although you may have done some preplanning, you haven’t booked anything or told anyone anything about your preplanning, besides your boyfriend. And trust me, he now knows. I totally agree with Miss AsB, you may just change your mind. Within the first few weeks of our engagement, I changed the date 3 times.
Post # 9
To answer your questions…no I wouldn’t feel the same way, and no I wouldn’t talk to him about it. He can’t change their date. And if I was someone’s bf I wouldn’t want them pestering me to propose. I don’t mean that it a mean way. Don’t worry, people won’t think you copied them or anything. GL 🙂