(Closed) I was Just Attacked by a Bragger…Help!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ugh. I’m so sorry. People like that are insufferable and oftentimes I find myself in trouble because I have a problem with my mental filter, let’s say. If I’m thinkin’ it, it tends to come out in one way or another. You did the right thing by just letting her prattle on about how fabulous she is. Maybe next time don’t throw out any compliments, but be the bigger person. She sounds totally self-absorbed and useless. If I were you I’d just avoid/ignore her. She’s not a friend if she’s gonna give you that kind of BS. And don’t let her make you feel down about your life or your wedding. She may have more money, but you are a better person.

Post # 5
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well obviously she doesnt know the proper etiquette when it comes to not bragging and discussing money with someone. LOL. I wouldnt let her bother you clearly she has no class if she wants to behave like this. And you definitely showed alot of class by listening to her and being nice! Sometimes the best thing is just to smile and get through it. LOL. She is probably stressing about all of her big wedding plans! Poor thing just wanted to bring someone else down to her level. You will have a wonderful wedding regardless if your budget isnt as high as hers. My FH says what people should see is wow you planned this on a budget of that size! So thats our goal to be as creative as we can be and not a “cookie-cutter” wedding. Sorry I had to vent because I cant stand when people bring up money like that like they are better or something! 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh no, she wasn’t putting you down. She was trying to build herself up. Because, regardless of her salary, her home, the money they are spending on their wedding, that girl has pitifully low self esteem. Just feel sorry for her.

Post # 7
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with avoid/ignore!

I voted “yes sometimes” but not in the way you described. But who doesn’t like to gush about what a sweety they have?! It’s a shame when people can’t be mutually excited for each other and feel the need to one up like that.

Post # 8
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ugh…we have some friends who are like this.  As hard as it is, I just ignore it.  And when they feel the need to tell me how great everything is, I just smile and nod.  Truth is, I feel like people who have this constant need to brag about their lives and situations are only doing it to convince themselves that their lives are so great.  Trust me, FI and I do well financially, we are planning a fairly expensive wedding that we are paying for ourselves, we have all of the same things (give or take) as the others, but we don’t feel the need to boost ourselves by bragging about it.  

When it really gets to you, just think about all the things that you have, and don’t let yourself get sucked into comparing lives.  Who knows, maybe she brags because she feels inferior to you.  

Post # 9
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

huh, i wonder what her deal is. whatever it is, it’s her, not you. what she did was rude and upsetting, but just remember that it’s her caught up in something that makes her feel the need to tell you, so try not to let it get you down!

i think it’s okay that you didn’t further engage her by defending yourself–she clearly wanted to talk, so she talked.

i fully support you venting to the FI. after that, though, like i said, it’s not your problem.

Post # 10
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Good call, Laylabelle – people who are content with themselves and their life don’t brag about it. They are just happy people. The people who shove it in your face are trying to prove something. Like I HAVE THIS I HAVE THAT IM SO HAPPY MY LIFE IS SO GREAT – they are trying to tell themselves that, not trying to tell you that.

Post # 12
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

@Kittyachi- I couldn’t have said it better myself. Definitely don’t compliment her next time, as a matter of fact, I would just glaze over and remain totally silent and uninterested. It’ll probably make her feel embarassed for going on and on to someone who obviously doesn;t care and she won’t do it again 🙂 Unless she’s just an idiot,lol

Post # 13
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well put Layla!

I was in this very situation yesterday.  Was out to lunch with a very well to do friend complete with her 3 carat centrestone and Rolex watch.  She just went on and on about how great her wedding was going to be.  I sincerely believe her intention was not to make feel crappy about my own wedding.  She’s too self centred to realize I was getting married.

Post # 14
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is really frustrating, but she might not have done it on purpose.  I have found myself in her situation before, completely unintentionally.  I was talking to another recently engaged about how excited I was that I had found my dress.  Before I knew it, I had shared my worry of ordering my dress too late so much that it came across as me implying she was behind schedule because she didn’t have hers yet!  It was not what I had intended and I felt really badly about the situation.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is try not to take it personally.  Your friend is probably under a lot of stress right now and, even though she should have used her words more carefully, we all slip up. 

Post # 15
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@runskiclimb – I don’t think the OP had a problem with this girl talking wedding-related stuff. It was more the fact that she was bragging about her and her husband’s financial situation combined with her talking about wedding plans and making her feel like she didn’t know anything. I think what you were talking about that you did is totally reasonable and not offensive.

Post # 16
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I second layla’s post! The people who feel the need to brag about all of that aren’t secure with themselves, and need to belittle others to make themselves feel better. Definitely try to let it roll off your back and remember that you’re marrying a wonderful guy!

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