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I feel the same way, we dated for 3 and a half years before we got engaged. I knew he wanted to get engaged before I did but when it happened it was perfect and I was ready. I think our relationship has been pretty relaxed and never stressful as far as timing goes.
I know how you feel. From really early in our relationship i knew and so did he that we wanted to get married. We dated for about 2 months before we became bf/gf and about three wks after we were official he said he wanted to marry me..and i told him I would love to get married. We've been dating now for almost 3 years and everyone around us knows that it will happen..when that's anyone's guess, but yea I never waited I always knew how he felt and he knew how I felt. To make it a bit official while the actual proposal comes he gave me a promise ring :-)
I was only waiting because we had my ring custom made and I had no clue when it would be done. He started talking seriously about marriage when I was still in college and knew I wasn't ready. So the following spring once I graduated and found a job I was much more ready and we started looking at rings.
I never waited – but I think it’s because I never felt any kind of push or need to get married – but I’ll admit I’m also a bit of a commitment-phoeb.
We never talked about weddings, I never researched rings or weddings online prior to being engaged.
I always felt totally “calm” in this relationship – like others have said said, I knew we were strong, and healthy and happy together, and felt from early on in the relationship that we would be together forever, but I never felt like we needed to get married, or felt impatient for him to ask. Our relationship has definately evolved, and I dunno, I guess I was just really happy and satisfied with each stage of the evolution - I never felt like I needed "more" (a ring/wedding/proposal/etc.) at any point.
I went through a brief crazy waiting period before he got deployed, when i got my endo diagnosis that "you better have kids before 22", , but once he was gone, i felt really foolish. It didn't matter as much as I thought it would. It seems very unlike who i've become and very immature, in hindsight. I think him being gone for 8 months put it all in perspective--I couldn't really pester him, ya know? =] Glad it was a short lived phase =]
Nope..never would have considered myself to be waiting. We dated for 7 years before we got married, and we both knew it would happen in it's own time. I was perfectly happy letting him decide when that time was. I enjoyed living with my sister at the time and have never felt in any sort or rush to get married (or start a family), so I was pretty much "go with the flow." My husband had issues stemming from his parents extremely ugly divorce, so I would have never wanted to push him on the subject anyways.
Neither did I. When I told people we've been together for 4... 5.. 6... years the next thing out of their mouths was alwasy "so when is he gonna ask you to marry him?" and I always said "some day" I always knew we would, and I'm glad I didn't spend our time together waiting and wondering. One day he just said "let's set a date". Totally the least dramatic proposal ever. But that's how sure we both were that we'd do it.
Absolutely. I think we were lucky to be on the same page. We moved in after college before I started law school, and we said to each other that we would get engaged when I finished law school. We talked about getting married and our future over those 3 years, we almost bought a condo, we got a dog, etc. We were very much in sync when it came to big life decisions. Then on the night of my law school graduation, lo and behold he proposed. :)
It's nice how the timing just felt right without forcing it.
It's nice how the timing just felt right without forcing it.
@zeynokiz: That's a great story.
@zeynokiz: Thats so sweet. If my bf proposes when I graduate law school, I'll just pass out to many emotions in one day, but it would be great. lol
We have been together for 7 years now. We both knew early on we wanted to be together forever. We talked about it so many times, wanting to marry, that I can't even tell you when the actual "proper" proposal happened. There was just never any question really... only a question of "when".
We are a same sex couple and for us, for various reasons, it's important to us that our marriage be legal. Some don't "get" that and that's okay. We want it. So for us, we really didn't want to have a non-legal ceremony and then a legal wedding later... and being pretty broke with being FT students with 3 kids together, traveling to marry was the obstacle. We really wanted to go to California and combine it with a family vacation since we've never been there, and we could do Disney with the kids, but then Prop 8 changed those plans.
When Iowa legalized same sex marriage, and Iowa being my FI's home state where she was born and spent her first 16 years, it made more sense and we started actually actively planning and we exchanged official e-rings this past March. (Iowa is closest to us out of all the possible states since we live in Texas, and much cheaper overall than MA or the other options).
Nope, never waited. Never had time! We met, were insperable, and knew we were it for each other. Three months later we were engaged. It's what worked for us :-)
@gabrielleelise1981: I was very similar to you! never spent any time on wedding websites, didn't look at any rings, didn't discuss rings, never set a timeline. I was also pretty calm and truly enjoyed each stage of the relationship - early dating all the way through engagement and now marriage! I felt happy at each stage and wanted to savor it all as I was pretty sure I wouldn't be going through it again.
So yeah, I was never "waiting"
Never waiting either... When we had "the talk" about our future and both said that we wanted it to happen together and were ready for it, we considered ourselves engaged and set a date. We went to buy a ring later, to announce it to our parents.
There was no waiting on my part, and no planning on his part.
We just discussed everything openly and there was no pressure for a proposal. In the end, there was no proposal, and it was just perfect for us.
I never waited. In fact, until I asked him, neither of us had talked about it. i hadn't even really thought about it! We'd discussed having kids for months, but never marriage. *shrugs* The night I proposed we'd been together 1.5 years and I just figured, 'Hey, I want to spend my life with this guy, he seems pretty into me, we should get married.' And about 30 seconds later I asked him. I had to wait for an engagement ring, but not the engagement! :)
Ooo can I join this club? I never felt like I was "waiting" either. I never thought about, talked about, or even mentioned getting married or ever wondered "When will he propose?" We'd talked about getting married, but it was never an issue with us. Plus, I don't think marriage is something you can push through - I like to think it's one of those things that just happens when it happens. :)
@gabrielleelise1981: Exactly. :)
We talked about marriage and both of us knew we'd be getting married eventually. I never pushed, because we were already living together, so it really didn't make much difference to me if we were "legal" or not. I knew it was important to him though. I think if I got to the point where I was "waiting," I would just propose to him.
Yes, I felt like this. I had this view of "let's get all issues ironed out perfectly before we get engaged." He was ready, but I had my stupid list. I finally realized that even if not everything was perfect, that we could work through all our issues and he was the one I wanted to work through them with. I mentioned one day how I never wanted to be like some girls we know who are begging the guy to get married and feel desperate. He assured me that wouldn't happen. Turns out he was waiting on getting the ring from his father (heirloom) that his dad came into town a few days earlier with the ring. He proposed the next day.
I think that waiting doesn't necessarily mean "omg when will he propose" it can also be about your own attitude and impatience. I guess in a sense I could say I never waited. We met when I was in law school and I was NOT looking to get married. From about 6 months in I definitely got the feeling that he was ready to marry me and was just waiting for a sign from me that I was ready too... and I made very sure he knew I was NOT ready. Then after about 2 years of dating it all just clicked... I was where I wanted to be in life and I felt ready (finally) and I gave him a subtle hint or two. He seemed to catch on very quickly and began hinting around finding out what I wanted in a ring within the next month or two. Within another month or two I knew he was seriously shopping and he bought a ring soon after that. I was also 99% sure that he was going to propose on our upcoming trip to Mexico. So I guess you could say I never waited because everything flowed naturally and he was really the one waiting for me to get ready.
But on the other hand... once I decided, I wanted to be married OMG-RIGHT-THIS-MINUTE. :) I KNEW he was ring shopping and waiting for vacation.... but even knowing for sure it was happening soon and the only thing delaying it was shopping and waiting for vacation... I still very much felt like I was "waiting" because I am just a super impatient and impulsive person.
Reading one of the threads on the waiting boards made me think that I didn't wait but looking back I did wait. (It was like 3 months.) But I wasn't obsessed about it. I did mentioned it to him but once I vented to him about it that was it. I didn't dwell on it. I think I just needed to get it off my chest. Even though I mentioned it to him about getting engaged, it still surprised me.
Turns out that when I had mentioned it to the DH, he was already looking and planning on buying the ring.
I think if I would have found this site while I was waiting, I might be a bit more obsessed and impatient about it. :)
I was only sort of. We both knew our parents couldn't (mine) and or wouldn't (his) pay for it so I was more waiting for a job.
I knew when it was coming though. We were watching the office in the episode where Jim is planning his proposal to Pam, and he looked at me and said "aren't you excited for our New York trip in the fall?" (he had no idea I knew)
Since I had just started a job that would allow us to pay for it I was sure it was going to happen.
Similar to what Corgi said. I'm a wating girl (I'm even the Waiting List listkeeper, lol), but I wouldn't say that I'm waiting in the sense that maybe some other girls are. Some have been with their SO's for many years, some are dating guys that they aren't sure will ever commit, and some are even on the verge of ending their relationships because they're at the make-it-or-break-it point.
But some don't really meet any of those criteria, yet they are still technically waiting for a proposal. Like you, OP, I knew (as did my SO) it was going to happen from very early on in our relationship. And since we haven't been together an exorbitantly long time (we're only at the year and a half mark), it's not like I've felt our engagement is past due, by any means. I'm just getting excited and a little anxious knowing it's bound to happen soon, but not knowing exactly when.
I think for a lot of girls, the waiting phase is not so pleasant, and I definitely feel for them. But personally, I don't think I could or would ever put up with some of the things that are making them feel so stressed. I would not date someone for 3, 4, 5+ years without a solid plan for marriage. I've never put up with commitment-phobes. My relationship is pretty much stress-free, just filled with excitement for our upcoming engagement (okay, with the occasional spurt of "can we get this show on the road?? I wanna plan a wedding!" type of anxiety). So that's "waiting," for me at least.
I was never waiting either. We had been dating for a while and decided to get engaged about a year before we actually did it - I brought it up. So I knew exactly when we would be getting engaged.
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Does anyone else feel this way? I was never waiting to get married. I knew it was going to happen from very early on in the relationship, but I never felt that sort of impatient will-he-or-won't-he get-on-with-it feeling. We dated for 5+ years before we got engaged. We talked about it for about a year before he actually did it. We were engaged for over 2 years before we actually got married. In the months leading up we did a bit of ring shopping together and I knew it was coming soon, but he actually proposed months before I would have expected it to happen. Anyway, I don't know - it didn't feel rushed or prolonged to me. It just happened when it was supposed to happen. Does that make sense?
Anyone else here who never really waited?