Post # 1
Growing up my parents stressed how important it was to get a decent education and have the means to support myself and not have to depend on anyone. They did a great job because I finished college and now have a career in my field. I worked hard for what I have and if FI left me today, guess what??? I can SUPPORT myself. Not knocking stay at home parents at all btw. If you can afford to stay home that’s great but what happens if the person bringing in the money leaves you? Are you going to depend on them for money for the rest of your life?? I feel sorry for some of these people that end up in situations like this. I am proud to say that FI and I have a comfortable lifestyle with combined income. And if he left me I would be just fine since I make my own money and have a great career. Again, I know that some stay at home parents will probably attack this and I’m not attacking them at all and I think it’s great that some people leave their careers to raise their children so that strangers aren’t. But I guess in this day and age you better make sure you can support yourself so you don’t have to become dependent on anyone else’s income since nothing is ever for certain or promised in this life.
Side note: I don’t have any children yet but FI and I already agreed that we both will work and have it all planned out after children are in the picture. Of course as in everything, it is subject to change 🙂
Post # 3
What is the point of this post exactly?
Not that I don’t agree with you because I do… to an extent! I am finishing up my PhD in a year and think it’s important for everyone to become successful independently. However, if we could afford for me to stay at home I would LOVE to be a SAHM. This is not very likely as I will be bringing in the larger income when I start my career but it is still something that I would love to do.
Post # 4
I plan to work all throughout having kids too, but just in defense of my own mother and other SAHMs – It’s not even that they don’t have a skill set, it’s that being out of the workforce for even just a few years can cripple your resume. My mom started totally over at a job she’d never had before after my parents divorced because she’d been out of the workforce for 18(!!) years. So if everything is subject to change when you do have kids and you still want to be able to support yourself and not become the case you’re talking about, better keep a finger in the work scene at all times 🙂 Cause it can happen to anyone.
Post # 5
Agreed – what is the point of this post?
Post # 6
I too am confused at the point of this post. I do think everyone should have some sort of skills to fall back on, just in case. I’m confused as to what sparked this.
Post # 7
@FMM: Some of my family members have had spouses leave them for various reasons and now have nothing since they didn’t pursue an education, or never held any sort of a job. Because of this, they are left with nothing and I feel sorry for them is all and I hope never to find myself in position like that. I am NOT knocking stay at home parents at all and I know it was going to come off that way. FI and I both make decent livings and while one of us could stay home, we both at this point…are not planning on it even after children.
Post # 9
@squeak: what do you mean, not equal, but also not inferior????
Post # 10
What’s the point of this post?
I have my own job and I can support myself, but for myself and for my FI a big part of marriage is depending on each other in good times and bad. If times are good and we as a family can afford for me to stay home with our children, why is that anyone else’s business but my own?
FI and I have spoken many times about how we feel about marriage and divorce is just not an option for us. Of course, I cannot see the future, but if my FI were to leave me for whatever reason… I have a wonderful network of family and friends who will support me until I can get myself back on my feet, find a job, etc.
Post # 11
I don’t really get the point of this post either.
I plan to be a SAHM when DH and I have kids but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the ability to support myself if the worst were to happen. I have a BS in Biomedical Engineering with a high GPA, will have at least 5-6 years of full time work experience before we even start TTC (in addition to my 4 years worth of research in college), and am a quick learner with a lot of drive to do what is necessary should I be put in that situation.
I really don’t get how you can say that someone who chooses to stay at home with their children by default must be unable to support themselves.
Post # 12
@squeak: This must be a joke.
Post # 14
Well I think it’s safe to say that we all will have different views on this. And for the record, both of my parents worked and I can’t remember my mother ever being an ” exhausted bitch” 🙂 Just because both parents work doesn’t make them bad parents.
Post # 15
@squeak:Wow, working moms are exhausted bitches? Really?