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I find something pretty gross, and I know SO MANY people wind up doing it...
One of my FB friends "shared" a picture today, from a professional photog. The picture was of a new mom nursing a baby. Full action in the picture. I know most of you will disagree, and most people feel nursing your baby is natural and beautiful and all that...I'm fully aware of how important it is for a baby to have it's mother's milk to build antibodies, it's proven to increase IQ points, etc..I know. What I find so gross, is the act of breast feeding. I think it's so primitive, and think the only lips going in that region are those of my SO! I am far from being a mom, but feel that I'd eventually pump my milk, rather than ever have a baby's lips there. The idea makes me shudder. I genuinely don't mean to offend anyone, I know my POV is rare-I only have 1 friend who feels the same as me. Is anyone else bugged out by this?
I don't think anyone can say that for sure until they have grown and labored a baby themselves :)
I don't like watching others do this and did not want people watching me when I did. I breast fed both my boys pumping is inconvient and your boobs get sore when they are to full of milk so you would be pumping frequently. You burn more calories breastfeeding it also contracts your uterus so it goes back to normal quicker.
@Eva Peron: I don't think anyone can say that for sure until they have grown and labored a baby themselves :)
Completely agree.
Breast feeding isn't for some people and if you choose not to do it when the time comes, stand your ground, and don't let people make you feel guilty.
I on the other hand am from the other side. I am very pro breast feeding.
@caffeiney: I was wondering if maybe I feel this way since I'm not in the situation yet, maybe I'll find out in a few years ;)
I agree that I don't necessarily like to see pictures of that, although very professional pictures can really show the bond between mother and child while breastfeeding. However, I know this is a controversial topic (breastfeeding in public that is), so I think that out of respect of that, perhaps your friend should have refrained from putting it in a position everyone will see by sharing it.
That all being said, I think that it is impossible to say for certain what you would do as a mother until you have been there. I, myself, in the last few years have gone from "I WILL NEVER DO IT!" to "I can't wait to have that bond with my child by breastfeeding" so who knows what will happen when the time comes ;)
before being pregnant I thought the same but during I decided thatsvwhats best. Believe me I saved a lot of money
Don't worry, I feel the same way. I didn't breast feed and couldn't even think about even doing it. I just don't think that breast feeding is for everyone.
i dont have any issues with bf'ing or the fact that the breasts are there to nuture a child but i also dont want to see it online or in real time because i view it as a private thing between mom and child. BUT, i will say 99.9% of bf'ing mums i have ever seen are discrete about it - its not a show and tell for them
i also hate naked maternity tummy pics - i know you are pregnant and yes it is beautiful but i dont find your unclothed body beautiful so put it away and keep it private
I feel like you have it backwards. It's SUPPOSED to be the baby's mouth that goes there, not your SOs. That's the whole point of having mammary glands in the first place, lol.
It doesn't bother me, I'm one of those "hippies" who just views it as a natural thing. That said, it's not "beautiful" to me, either. I'm pretty apathetic towards people doing it, honestly. I mean, when I finally have a child, yes, I'll be breastfeeding because of all the good stuff in breast milk (not to mention how much I'll save in formula!), but ultimately it's the mother's choice and whether she does it publicly, privately, or not at all never really phases me because seeing breasts doesn't bug me and I definitely don't equate breasts to sex or anything of that nature, lol.
@Eva Peron: well said.
I think it's weird so many women consider it ok for a man to "play" with their breats while not wanting to breastfeed. If you don't like it and don't want to do it it's ok but don't consider it antinatural or primitive, that's what breasts are for!
@WantToBeM.E.: I appreciate that you said you don't mean to offend anyone, because I feel like for many women, breastfeeding is something that is a very personal choice and is intrinsic to their experience of mothering, so your view could be quite offensive to some.
What I want to point out is that humans are animals. This is important to remember in this case for two reasons. First, because if you saw a picture of another mammal nursing, you would not be grossed out by it I'm sure, because this is part of nature. Essentially, there is no other option for non-human mammals. Second, because the over-sexualization of women's breasts to the point of other women finding breastfeeding gross is ridiculous. What if a man were able to produce milk to feed his offspring? How would we feel about his breasts?
We don't have to find another woman breastfeeding beautiful, but that is not to say it is cringe-worthy. No woman breastfeeds as a way of showing herself off to anyone or offending anyone - she's doing it for the purposes of providing her baby with nourishment while bonding with them at the same time. What's gross about that?
I actually feel the opposite. I do not like SO "playing" with my breasts or nipples. I definitely do not get aroused by it because the only thing I can think of when he does is how infantile it is for him to be doing that and how the only reason I have these boobs is to feed a baby. The thought of his lips anywhere near my boobs is gross.
are you offended by bottle feeding pictures? If not, why? Breast or bottle-they are both a delivery system for milk.
Ugh, well pardon me, as I don`t mean to offend anyone.
I get that you are not in touch with your motherly side as you have not carried a child for 9 months, or have not had the natural instincts to do whats best for your young. But as a women I would think you would have more common sense to know that there is nothing disgusting about a mother feeding her young with the breasts that were given to her from either nature or God, or whatever power it is that blessed her with them. I find it ludicrous that you think it is more natural to let a grown man suck on your nipples for nothing more than sexual gratification than to let your own infant do so for comfort, nurture and care.
I plan to BF when I have children but, I do still appreciate when women cover up with something when in public as I don't appreciate seeing it whipped out and being done in public (ie: the middle of the local aquarium with 6 trillion children and their guardians running around.) It beautiful, natural, etc. but I do think common decency applies. Sex is natural as well, but that doesn't mean people go around doing it out in the open.
I feel like it is natural to breast-feed and well within a mother's right to do so, of course. But, I feel a little awkward when it's being done in front of me. I don't have any children right now but I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable doing it in public (although I do realize why women need to do it in public.) I guess witnessing just feels like I'm witnessing a private act or something. But I think I feel this way because I haven't had any children yet.
@shedayz: I don't simply see it that way, although I guess most do.
Not having a child doesn't make someone's opinion on the issue any less valid. If the OP is bothered by breast feeding then so be it. I don't see why she has to give birth to have her personal opinion be valid.
That being said I too have not had a child. Does breast feeding bother me, not so much. I certainly don't think it is primitive or gross. My FSIL breast feeds our nephew front of me covered up and I don't think a thing about it. Now if we were all in a room together and she just started breast feeding without a cover I might be a little less comfortable. I am one of "those" people that think that in public a bit of modesty is nice for those around you, but that is just my opinion and I know that many women disagree (for example the women that are protesting Home Depot).
As many have suggested perhaps I will throw all these ideas to the wind once I give birth and have a child of my own. Who knows?
Meh, that is what boobs are made for, babies to eat out of. That being said, there is a reason there a million and one cute patterns for nursing covers on Pinterest, you wouldn't whip out your boob in public normally, so attaching a baby to it doesn't make it much more acceptable.
@Cash000: I guess I really bothered you. I feel like if this were 1825, I'd be up for it since there would be no other choice. I do think how a woman's body morphs for a baby is amazing, but I feel that if I can get my butt to the store and buy a baby bottle to fill with my breast milk, there's no reason for me to have them latch on. That doesn't mean I am lacking in common sense. Breast feeding is obviously natural, that's how it's been done for thousands of years, but I don't think it would ever feel right for me. I've got some large ladies up top, and to me, they are completely sexual.
As for BFing in public...I can't ever imagine this being acceptable. It baffles me that people can't run to their car for a few minutes, if they absolutely need to feed the child...Doing it on line in a store is bad taste. In another day and age, this may have been the norm.
I felt the same...until I had a baby and that natural urge took over. BUT there are some people who don't want to and I won't condemn them for it. Pumping is fine, formula is fine, too. :)
I just hate when people look at boobs as just sex objects. Breasts have been over sexualized (is that a word? lol) in the media and in general. Boobs were meant to feed babies, and while they may be beautiful and sensual to our SOs, that's their core purpose...but they can be fun too. :)
@Treejewel19: Amen!! If it were a family member in front of me, I think after repeated exposure I'd get over it, but perfect strangers doing it in public boggles my mind.
I plan to breastfeed, but I totally get it. I think it's a strange concept and not gonna lie, it does gross me out when I think about it. Buuuut, I think it will be totally different when I have a child.
I feel pretty similar...and I basically never voice it because I know my feelings are somewhat irrational and that the true purpose of our breasts are to feed our babies...but yes, the thought of having a baby's mouth there does skeeve me out. Yes, I do think of them more as a sexual part of my body than a mothering one. And I think it's fairly judgemental for anyone to find that to be ludicrous or be offended by it, I'm aware that my opinion is not the norm and I certainly understand that most people do not agree, but that does not make my opinion any less valid so long as it's not causing harm to my future children some day. I'm sure when that day comes I'll either get over it or pump.
As far as breast feeding in public goes, I don't think the argument saying it's the same thing as bottle feeding holds any water at all. Technically the true purpose of all of our private parts are for reproduction, but that doesn't mean we all walk around naked! I can see people would probably argue that the other parts are also for pleasure, but so are breasts, they bring sexual pleasure too. And bottles and boobs are not the same thing, regardless of whether or not they're both dispensing milk. Whenever anyone posts a pic of the ridiculous bride with her boobs hanging out of her dress we all laugh and say how inappropriate she is. If she were holding a bottle I doubt we'd care. Like it or not, breasts have been sexualized, particularly in the US, and for most of us it goes against our social norms of modesty and what we are comfortable with. We could debate whether or not that social norm and sexualization is acceptable/correct or not (that would be a whole other conversation that I'm not sure what side I would fall on as I understand both), but I think it's an undeniable fact that it is the way things are right now.
@Wonderstruck: Thank you!! I'd "like" this post a million times if I could. Very well said :-)
I didn't read this thread to be a breasfeeding in public thread- in which case if it was, yes, it wouldn't matter if you have had a child or not. Infact many breastfeeding woman do not approve of public display of boobity.
I gathered the OP was saying she finds breastfeeding "primitive" and disgusting and was wondering if others felt that way.
@Eva Peron: I was-and some began discussing public feeding as well.
ETA: the word boobity made me laugh ;)
Sorry guys, didn't mean to detract from the original discussion, was just responsing to others, apologize for threadjacking, I'll cut it out now! I think primitive is the wrong word, I'd have to disagree with that...but I guess to summarize my post, yes, the idea of doing it myself does kinda gross me out even though I know it is natural and normal.
@Wonderstruck: You weren't threadjacking :)
I used the word primitive because I thought of gorillas, specifically, breastfeeding. That went over really well... :-/
@WantToBeM.E.: Yes, it was admittedly probably not the best reference or comparison, haha.
My best friend feels the same way. Although she knows there are numerous benefits to breast feeding, she's really grossed out by it. She still plans on doing it, but won't use a pump because she worked at Babies R' Us and has heard how difficult and painful they can be. She said it's just something she'll have to suffer through, but she'll definitely ween them as soon as possible.
@WantToBeM.E.: You may not have a popular opinion, but it's just as valid as anyone else's. We are disgusted by what we are disgusted by. What can you do? There are some times where I feel BF-ing is "primitive", and times where it's totally normal. For me, it depends a lot on the context.
I found at different stages of life I thought differently of many many subjects - until i experienced it firsthand.
I hated kids. Never wanted any, even told that to my first husband when we got married. no children... Now Im helping my youngest pre-law college aged daughter plan her wedding. Her oldest sister is her MOH. And Life couldnt be any sweeter then the days when they were born...and everyday that has led up to now.
Its nice when you recognize that life is in stages and seasons and those seasons change. I think they call it part of maturity. Its okay for you to feel that way right now, as long as you dont condemn others for their life choices...but always be open to change. Its what will keep you young all the days of your life and make life a little less stressful. Because life changes.
(btw, i nursed my children, found it to be great as not only was it good for them, but I did go up two cup sizes like b and burned off the baby fat - in my regular jeans in three months...and there are studies that found that nursing helps prevent later in life certain breast cancers..)
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