I was right, FMIL no longer likes me

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve had cancer twice, so I can say with authority – cancer does not give you carte blanche to be a bitch, and that other people still have commitments and lives, and can’t always be expected to drop everything for you, all the time. 

Something it sounds your FMIL needs reminding of.  It’s not like you are being out of work deliberately! 

I had to move back to where I was living when me and FI’s flatmate ripped us off and left us in a lot of debt.  FI had to move back home…and he’s still there.  He’s got a good well paid job that he can’t afford to give up…but not well paid enough to afford a place on his own.  We are going to be in a LTR for at least another year.

Yes, it would be nice if you could help your FMIL at the moment.  Fact is, you have your own problems and can’t.  It’s not like she’s totally on her own. 

Post # 4
3672 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@HonoraryNerd:  I agree with Sekhmet  that she needs to be reminded that personal life circumstances aren’t a “go ahead” for being a bitch. This isn’t your fault and you can’t control her thoughts. Just keep doing what you have to do to get by. We have all been in hard times and often we end up taking turns leaning on others. DH had to pay for a lot of the wedding at the beginning because I was trying to take care of college and only getting paid when I got clients (worked as a health instructor in my own business). You will get back on your feet soon enough! 

Post # 6
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I work at a cancer center and have had the chance to get to know patients over the time of almost a decade.   MANY have told me this – 

A bitch is a bitch is a bitch, before, during and after cancer.   If a person is nice and a good egg – they’re going to basically be the same when they have cancer.   Will shit get to them?  You bet.   Will they have breakdown and bitchy moments?  Oh yea – but it’s not a free pass to be bitch supreme.

Post # 7
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

-.- cancer is no excuse.. You would think both her (and your fh!!!) would understand that you are job hunting and cannot be tied down to a commitment like that! Your FH also knows (?) you have been watching your niece? He shoulda stuck up for you..

Post # 9
3083 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t really see how it’s your fault. You were watching your niece. 

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