Post # 1
…but seriously, it’s definitely getting to me.
The only two things that have me stressed: the guest list and the money.
If the guest list was cut even further, I wouldn’t be stressed about the money.
If money was ever-flowing, I wouldn’t be stressed about the guest list. But boy, do those come hand in hand.
I am constantly thinking of ways to cut back and people to cut out and trying to figure out the best possible way to keep the cost low, but Fiance keeps offering stuff that he really doesn’t need to…like paying for his parents hotel rooms for both nights, paying for all of his 5 groomsmen tuxedos, extra packages the photographer is offering that really isn’t needed and so forth. But the thing is, he’s not around when I’m planning and he has NO idea what all of this really costs. When I express that to him, he just says “it will work out.” He hasn’t set aside any money for the this while I’m throwing all of my tip money that I make at the salon and all the money I make outside of the salon in an envelope while spending only the money I make in my checks on bills and groceries.
I don’t know…he has so much faith but I’m not seeing any effort. I know I am not the only lady to feel this way when it comes to wedding planning. I really thought I had this stress under control. :/
So maybe this is a precursor to marriage…
Post # 3
I think you need to sit down with him and tell him exactly how much money you have and how much money is actually saved or will be brought in. Maybe he doesn’t realize the extent that you are already obligated to pay for this wedding.
Post # 4
we did this in the beginning, but we definitely need to do it again. with less than 6 months left, maybe he’ll have a wake-up call and realize that we can’t save much more in that amount of time. he’s got some really big jobs lined up and i know he is relying on that, and i have no doubt that he will finish them in time but i guess it doesn’t calm my nerves at all when he says “it will work out.” it feels like he’s just blowing it off to move on to the next conversation.
sorry, i suppose really this is just me venting!
Post # 5
Yeah…it sounds like he needs to see the dollars and cents spelled out in bold print. There are some quick money savers right there in your post. The Groomsmen can rent their own tuxes and the parents can pay for their own rooms. That’s a nice chunk of change saved right there. Also…if you aren’t doing it already…you both should allocate X amount of dollars to the wedding fund on some type of schedule. Maybe once he sees the dollars running out of his pockets he will stop offering to pay for things you guys aren’t obligated to
Post # 6
@jamaica bride, for sure! i convinced him that he really doesn’t need to pay for the tuxedos, i’m talking him out of the extra packages but i know he still wants to pay for his parents room. i’m okay with that. we’ve decided to stick with very simple wedding bands and i’m nixing flowers from the centerpieces and using the candles and hurricanes that are supplied by the venue. i’m diying cupcakes, favors, bouquets, invites, decor and a few other things so that helps a lot too.
Post # 7
Honestly, this post could of been written by me a few months ago! Except the tips were from bartending. I was working 17 hour days (at my fulltime social work job and then at the bar) so I could stash as much as possible. My Fiance is such an optimist but not a planner, its infuriating to hear “it will work out” when he hasn’t done anything to ensure that! His head was in the clouds while I was here on earth struggling. Eventually I had to break it all down for him, he then got a part-time job and has been trying hard. But its almost like too little too late, however, he’s trying, so I’d never say that to him! At least I can agree that it will work out.
I’m hoping the same happens for you. Somehow, someway, things do manage to work out.
Post # 8
@jennifer, that post actually helped to calm my nerves a lot. maybe just hearing that it will work out from someone who has or is dealing with this is what i needed. usually, i’m the optimist!
thanks so much, ladies!
Post # 9
We went thru kind of the same thing.
My parents are paying for most of the wedding (basically the venue and catering). I’m matching what they’re giving us to pay for flowers, my dress, decor, invites – I saved for it and I don’t mind spending the money on it.
Then, my dad lost his job so my Fiance wanted me to give some of the money they gave us back. Which was very considerate of him, but then he wanted to cover the amount we gave back by splitting it between us.
It totally freaked me out because I’d already committed to an amount and wasn’t keen on going over. He just kept saying “I didn’t realize how much it cost.” And “do we really need ___?” Which stressed me out MORE because I planned the whole thing with a budget in mind and I couldn’t stand trying to cut things now. Plus the guest list is 75% his so if he didn’t want to invite so many people it wouldn’t be as expensive.
Luckily my parents refused to take the money back and my mom called him and explained that they’d already saved that money for my wedding and things have all worked out.
Post # 10
i’m really good with money in the short term. my fiance is really good for the long term (like, retirement..he is a financial planner after all). what i did about 6 weeks ago was make a very in depth budget and showed him what everything costs. i also made a list of things i know we are going to be responsible for paying. that got him in ‘we can’t drop $150 on a saturday night for the next year’ mode. i frequently show him the budget and remind him what we are responsible for. that’s the only way to do it for us..keep reminding him!
if we didn’t do this..i’m sure he would have already added an extra $2k to the budget by offering to pay for things.
Post # 11
@jennifer_espos: This is my EXACT situation now! I put all my money to the wedding and express concern that it won’t work out and he says “don’t worry about it” UGH! I agree, his head is in the clouds while I’m here on earth…frusterating!