Post # 1
I have made it abundantly clear to my family that I can only have 50 guests at my wedding. Of course, I could have more, if I wanted. But, I don’t want. Bascially, the venue gives 60 free chairs for guests, any more are $4.50 each. I also can’t afford to pay for more than 50 people to eat. I am nervous in front of people, so the more intimate the crowd, the better.
Friday night I went to the wedding of the daugther of long-time family friends. At the end, the mother of the bride said, “I heard you’re getting married!” Then, before I could respond, my uncle says, “Yep! Get ready for another wedding next summer. The wedding is only 15 mins from your beach house!”
I was taken aback. I didn’t know what to do but smile and nod my head. I would definitely invite these people if I had the money. But, because I don’t, I wasn’t planning to. I was a plan-B invite to their daughter’s wedding, anyway. I know that because 10 days before the wedding I got a FACEBOOK message from the bride asking me to hurry and let her know if FI and I could come to her wedding so she could give her final head count.
Inviting them means adding an extra SEVEN people to my total. I have no room for that, at all (money wise). I’m already over my limit with necessary people. A lot of my extended family that I was banking on not coming have announced their full intentions to be there and they’ve all got places to stay/are planning their summer vacations around it!
I am not going to be sending these people an STD, but I have a feeling my uncle is just going to include them in all of the details every time he sees them. They have a beach house 15 mins from my venue. They stay down there most of the summer, so they will probably show up, invitation or not. Ugh!
Post # 3
If they just came from planning a wedding, do you think they would understand not receiving an invite? :
Or do you think maybe letting your uncle know that there is a cap on the guest list (you don’t have to say whose cap) might help for future wedding discussion?
Post # 4
Speak to your uncle. Make sure he is aware that you are planning a small wedding and won’t be able to accomodate everyone you would like to invite.
Request his help in not making comments that would lead people to believe they are going to be invited.
Post # 5
Agree with speaking to uncle as PPs said. And then don’t invite them. Let your uncle know its a small wedding so if they make a comment to them, he can inform them its small and intimate.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t worry about it. People say things like that all the time without thinking first. If that family just planned their daughter’s wedding (and you were on the b-list), they should be more than understanding.
If someone ever asks, just say you’re having a small, intimate wedding. That’s code for- don’t expect an invite lol
I would maybe mention that to your uncle, in a polite way, that you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings by making it seem they are invited when you’re having a small wedding and will most likely not be able to invite them.
Post # 7
I definately agree with the other bees. Tell your Uncle that the guest list is full for the venue, and that they are on your B list, but you can’t say for sure whether they will get an invite. Just tell him that there is literally nothing you can do.
If you want something to make you laugh, I’ll share a similar story with you. I logged on to facebook the day after I announced my date to everyone and I had an event invite. Guess what it was for? MY WEDDING. A friend had created an event on facebook, make it public, and let people RSVP too it.
Hope that makes you feel better. 🙂
Post # 8
@julis120: Omg I’d die! Lol! I try to avoid discussing my wedding on FB now. Sometimes I’ll mention something vague, but I don’t ever give out too many details. I made the mistake of bantering with my mother under one of my statuses about how I’m not inviting “most of the people in my crazy family”. My cousin saw it and told her mom. So, last week at a wedding I got majorly confronted. My aunt is a loud and very obnoxious. I was in the bride and groom’s receiving line and she walked up and very loudly exclaimed, “I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! I HEARD WE WASN’T INVITED TO YOUR WEDDIN’!” *Notice how I typed it out exactly the way she said it* I was mortified because I felt like it was very rude of her to interrupt the bride and groom’s receiving line with that.
I have told everyone, including my uncle, that there is a 50 guest cap. I guess he just assumes that those people would be apart of the 50 guests?! I never got a chance to speak to him that night, but I will be. I won’t be mailing those people any STDs or invites, unless some of our family declines.