I will pay my way….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nedaussie:  well it sounds like she knows it’s going to cost you and she’s offering to pay for it.

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had several people who cancelled on me last minute like this.  I just let it go, because obviously she knows it is going to cost you.  It’s so annoying.  Hopefully she sends a gift.

I would say, “don’t worry about it.”

Post # 6
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nedaussie:  well I think you know your friend best, if she’s offering to pay and wants to know the amount I would tell her.  If she’s only saying this to make herself look like a better person, I’d probably just cut her out of my life and not respond.

Post # 7
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would not say a word. Bad etiquette.

Post # 8
Member
4220 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would say thank you for the offer but it’s not necessary, sorry you are unable to join us. 

Post # 9
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@nedaussie:  “Don’t worry about it.”

I mean, there’s nothing else you can say. 

Post # 10
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d offer to help her find a babysitter.

Post # 11
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would not ask her to pay for those meals. 

However, I would invite someone else whom you or your daughter would love to have been able to invite but who clearly would not ever have expected to have received an invitation and would understand why he or she is being extended this last-minute opportunity.

Post # 12
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Things happen. I’d just let it go.

Post # 13
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@nedaussie:  I would say “Sorry you won’t be able to make it. You will be missed.” If I were her, I would actually feel horrible and really REALLY want to pay, so I would then respond with “No, really… how much is it per head?” If she doesn’t do that then she’s just being “nice”. Although, really, babysitting? If I have a wedding to go to and my sister needs a babysitter she finds someone else! Your friend shouldn’t have said yes to babysitting. So rude. 

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@HappySky7:  +1. A wedding is not a ticketed event. Shit happens, it’s life.

Post # 15
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Ditto what Brielle said.

I had a couple of people in mind, just in case we had any last minute cancellations. Like, my mom’s best friend’s sister. Someone who wasn’t expecting an invite, and wouldn’t have minded a last minute one. Another example: let a teen guest bring a friend.

This “friend” sounds like a piece of work!

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