(Closed) i wish he would ask me already

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just ask him πŸ™‚  No need to get mad at him w/o having had the conversation.  As we well know, they can’t read our minds…

Post # 4
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

He might already be saving. He said he wants to marry you which is the first step. πŸ™‚ I would not put it pass him that he is working on it or has a timeline in his head. When we looked at rings, it took him about 4 months to save…and that was for a diamond. So, who knows…. it might be sooner than you think. Just try to enjoy your relationship for which it is now. πŸ™‚ good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

He needs to realize that it doesnt matter how much the ring costs, as long as you are together and if both of you want to get married but the ring is holding you back, that isnt a good enough reason. My step dad bought my mom a $40 ring from a pawn shop and have been together 18 years and have upgraded three times… My So and I just realized this not too long ago and I told him I wanted a less expensive ring and just wanted to be married to him sooner.

Post # 7
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would just let him know that a fancy ring is not important to you, being married to him is what matters to you most. Beyond that, I would just try (hard, I know!) to be patient with him and let him do it the way he sees fit. Guys put a lot of pressure on themselves to have the perfect proposal and the perfect ring.

Post # 9
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I know how you feel. My SO took me ring shopping for the first time July of last year. You would think since it was his idea that he had a PLAN and was starting to save, plan for the proposal, etc. NOT! 5 months later I found out he had gotten laid off and so being anxiously waiting we obviously had a discussion about the future, getting engaged married, etc. Only for me to learn that he hadn’t saved a DIME. Five whole months of nothing. I was extremely hurt. Now five more months later I’m still not sure, because of the off and on job situation, how close he is. If I had to guess on the upside he should be pretty close if not almost ready to fully purchase it. There was a layaway option too. The only reason that I would say differently is because he asked about it a month ago (couldn’t remember what the ring look like, WHAT???!!!!) It has been a while since we saw it but really dude? I think worse case scenario he could have it purchased by next month (even if he just started to save NOW) if he really set his mind to it. Which would be great. Right around the 4th and my graduation. And just a month shy of our 4 year anniversary (my deadline). *Fingers Crossed*

*hugs* for you. Just talk to him and see if you can get a timeline or at least a soft one. And if you’re afraid that it may backfire then just give him one. “I really think we should be engaged by X (amount of months, years, etc) because we need a year to save and plan for your big wedding” And see how he takes it. If he doesn’t like it he will possibly say something like “I was thinking more like Y (amount of months, years, etc)”. So you have an idea. Good Luck!

Post # 11
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know how both you and @FEFE215: feel.  Boyfriend took me “ring shopping” over a year ago and then never saved a penny.  He now has a family ring but I am still “waiting.”  He talks about getting married a lot and what he does and does not want to have but it seems like  he has no plan for asking any time soon.  It is a little discouraging to know that he didn’t feel the need to save anything or make any kinds of plans for over a year.  We have been together for over 4 years and are in our VERY late 20’s so age/amount of time together shouldn’t be that big of an issue. 

Post # 12
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

me too   : (

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