- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Well, FI and I have taken a break (well he did, I didn’t) when it comes to the wedding. I had a mild breakdown when all of this happened, and freaked out, but I just need to talk about it now that I’m logical.
- FI was in his final year of college when his parents got empty nest syndrome and told him to move back to his hometown. He moved home and now they are moving 2 hours away.
- FI is going to a community college for now. He’s getting his welding license so he can make more money so he can complete his originl degree in Agronomy and Soils.
- This community college happens to be one of the only school in the state that does not accept Stafford loans, and FI doesn’t qualify for a pell grant because his parent’s combined income is too high, despite the fact that they haven’t helped him with anything in 4 years because they can’t afford to. They’ve been in debt since 1992 and don’t have enough money to have Christmas this year. FI lives on his own and has supported himself since he was 17.
- FI can’t save up for anything because he currently only makes $13,000 a year, pays all of his bills plus his college expenses out of pocket.
- I am currently unemployed, but still looking. (I have an interview next week. Fingers crossed.)
So, the idea of having a wedding with no money has caused us to just, call it off. We’ve told everyone to forget that we ever mentioned the May 2012 date we had set, because it just wasn’t going to happen. FI gets paid biweekly, and one of those checks goes completely to bills, the other one has to to feed him, get him gas and the rest of it has to be saved for classes and books.
Ever since we decided to put everything on the backburner, I told myself that I’d just stop with the wedding stuff. But I can’t. I can’t break away from the boards. I can’t stop drooling over my dream ring. People are asking about the wedding and why we’ve changed everything. I tell them we’ve got other things going on, but I guess my mother and friends told everyone that my FI is currently too broke to take care of himself, much less marry me. And people let me know that they know why it happened, and reiterate the fact that this is why I should have started dating that med student instead…
To be honest, it hurts. It hurts my FI that he can’t get me the ring I want and that he can’t do anything for the wedding. It hurts me because it hurts him, and of course the remarks don’t help either. I hate seeing my “Wedding” folder on my laptop, and even though I’ve moved it, I still have to face it when I open any other pictures. I hate getting catalogs in the mail from jewelry stores about sales, knowing that even taking 60% off the prices won’t help me.
Sometimes I wish I could forget that we even had the engagement talk and that we had waited to get engaged. I wish he had waited until we both knew that we would have been financially stable and when he didn’t have college to worry about. I still want to marry him, and can’t wait to do so, I just wish the engagement had come later… And yes, I have told him that I wish he would have waited, and he said that he would have, had he known what would happen beforehand…
Just felt like like putting it out there, and get some input now that I’m not crying about it or driving myself nuts over it.