- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Please go ahead and disregard this post. I’m not going to do anything about it, I just need a safe place to vent where I don’t look like a crazy or selfish person.
My fiance’s friend is driving me insane. They have been friends for 15 years or so now and last year he briefly lived with us for free. He’s a very self centered and selfish deadbeat. He’s in his 40’s and works in retail, has anger issues, is in a CRAZY amount of debt, and is a complete debbie downer.
In fact, when “M” lived with us, it was for a fresh start in a new city. It lasted about 2 months before he decided he was miserable and moved back in with his parents in his former state. A year later, he wants to come back and live rent free with us again. The first time was miserable for reasons I won’t go into.
After living with us, my FI confessed he didn’t feel close to M anymore and they were more friends out of the fact they had been friends for so long rather than anything in common.
So with that backstory….he’s a groomsman. And he hates weddings and is broke and as I mentioned, is a completely unreliable debbie downer. We are paying for EVERYTHING for him except for the hotel. Tux, transportation, food. This wedding is going to cost him $100 at most. I’d feel bad for that, except he is going on a road trip immediately after our wedding for vacation, so it isn’t like he’s being fiscally responsible. Spend your money badly on your friend.
FI’s bachelor party is this week. Most of the friends going are from M’s area and have offered to drive down with him. They’re paying for the hotel so it won’t cost M a penny. The meal is pre-paid. The strip club doesn’t require EVERY person there to purchase a lap dance, so he could just sit there and admire the view.
M isn’t going because he “cant’ afford it”. Is it wrong how much this pisses me off? This entire wedding he has been absent and selfish about everything. We are requiring literally NOTHING of him beyond standing in a suit for 20 minutes and enjoying a party we planned. I just assume that attending your buddy’s send off party would not only be a REQUIRED activity (especially when so little is being asked of you) but one you would look forward to attending.
Sorry for venting, I know how selfish it sounds. It’s one very important day in our lives but to him it is just another day. I just feel like after we have opened our home (twice) to him and been there for him, he ought to be there for his friend as well. It feels like their friendship is a one way street and FI is getting taken for granted. =
FI doesn’t know about any of this yet btw. His party is this weekend and I’m holding out hope that M surprises me and DOES attend.