I wish I could fire a groomsman!

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

For the most part I agree with you he sounds like a jerk.  Is it possible he doesn’t like going to strip clubs or he is in some kind of relationship with a girl who doesn’t want him to go to a strip club? Some guys don’t like strip clubs.  I’m sure they’ll do more than just go to a club.  Still I can understand not wanting to going all the way there and maybe have someone making fun of him for not going to a club.

Post # 5
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

While I do think the friend sounds like a big old jerk, I wouldn’t sacrifice my vacation for someone’s wedding festivities, but I don’t think that makes me a bad friend. I am standing up in a December wedding and I had to tell the MOH that I could not afford to go on the destination bachelorette party because I am *trying* to save so I can go to a destination wedding for another friend. I felt awful telling her, but I just can’t make it work.

Post # 6
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Gotcha

That really sucks.  He sounds very like a child.  Hopefully he shows up.  I’m really sorry you have to deal with this.

I think it might be best to tell your fiance now instead of him finding out later.  I understand you’ll do whatever you find best.  You do know your fiance so maybe he’ll handle it fine.  I just know that finding out right then and there might ruin the moment.

Post # 7
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When someone on here complains about a BM everyone says the only thing she has to do is show up and wear the dress for the wedding.

So the way I see it we shouldn’t expect any more from a GM.

Post # 9
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@Luayne:

I don’t know, I mean personally I think that’s a pretty crappy reason to not go.  I don’t think it should be required but I just don’t think he’s being a real friend with the way he sounds like he’s been acting.

@MrsFutureG:

I’m sure his feelings are hurt.  It sounds like the wedding will be the last time you see or hear from him.  Just give your fiance some time and be there when he needs you.  It can be hard to end such a close friendship but sometimes it’s for the best.

Post # 11
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@greymonkey42:  

 

 

 

@MrsFutureG:  

 

 

 

I’m not saying that I totally agree with that but how many times have brides on here been told that so it’s unfair if the same isn’t said for them.

 

 

 

That being said he doesn’t sound like a good friend and I do understand the disappointment but it is your FI’s decision. It sounds like he’s getting there so just let the friendship run it’s course.

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFutureG:  “No point? How about YOUR FRIEND?’

Dod you ask M this?

if not you should.

Post # 14
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@MrsFutureG:

I agree, I don’t think you should say anything.  Just be there for him when he needs you.

@Luayne:

I get what you’re saying.  Personally I’m not one to be oh well they just have to show up but I’m also not the bride and groom can do whatever they want.  I believe in a reasonable middle.  If it was just the issue of him not going then I think things would be different and I’d just say it’s not worth worrying about.  However in a way I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s being a jerk since he has been one for awhile.

Post # 15
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with you–we went through this with FI’s brother. We actually demoted him from Best Man because of how he’s acted and complained about not having any money since we got engaged. Then he told us that they might not be able to afford to come to the wedding (!!!) and then randomly showed up in town TWICE after that. : It’s been really hard on him. His brother is also well known for being really late to everything, so I made it clear to FI that we would NOT be waiting for him at the rehearsal or the wedding day.

Post # 16
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s required to attend a bachelor party. Maybe he feels bad about being the charity case or maybe he just doesn’t want to go.  Either way, I wouldn’t let it get to you. Your FI will have fun with the guys who are there and it’s really his battle to fight.

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