(Closed) I wish I could stop being jealous of other people's lives…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5429 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s natural to envy others of what they have that you want. But you have to think about what you have now. And eventually you know you’ll get everything… in time! HUGS ***

Post # 5
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Right there with ya, sister! 

Post # 7
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Blondey89:  I know it’s hard but your time will come. We were all in your position once. Try to focus on what you do have, and how happy you are with your SO right now. Wanting what others have and looking to the future will only upset you.

Post # 8
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

There are always things to envy about other people. I got married to the love of my life… but I lost my beloved job last May in a really, terribly disrespectful way, and I absolutely can’t find another one. I’m someone very driven and independent, and this makes me feel so weak. I envy all my friends with jobs that they love – heck, even jobs they don’t particularly love.

My appreciative of what you have – a man who loves you, good health, a career…

Post # 9
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

Time to break out the ice cream. I had one of these nights yesterday, and I promise you that after some mint chocolate and a good nights sleep you will feel better tomorrow!! Even if its only marginal!!

Is your SO looking for work closer to you ??

Post # 10
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

Waiting is really tough, we all know how you feel here. Like previous posters have said, your time will come eventually and it will be very special! In the meantime try and focus on something else or pick up a new hobby to take your mind off waiting. I started taking a class on Thursday nights and started working out more so I look the way I want to when I eventually get engaged. 

Try to think of this time as the last couple days/months/years that you will be single and maximize your time! Once you are married and have kids you won’t have very much “me” time.

That’s how I try and comfort myself…but it is so hard watching others around you get what you want so bad! The Bee is a great place to come when you’re having a rough day!  

Post # 11
Member
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Everyone has something they’re jealous of. It’s awesome that you only live 30 miles from your SO. My boyfriend had to move 500 miles away a year after I moved 7,000 miles to end the whole long distance thing, so I’m super jealous of you for that. 

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

people are usually jealous because they think they don’t have anything good or worthwhile. Why don’t you take a look around, see the good around you if you don’t have the good, go out and get some of it. sports, action, learning, hobbies all enhance life- I suggest you take up something of interest.

Post # 13
Member
6750 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Social networking has definitely made being jealous a lot easier and a lot more common.  Every time I find myself getting jealous, I stop and think to myself – someone out there is jealous of me because (insert all the good things I’m happy about in my life).  And, then I think to myself – these people I’m jealous of b/c of x, y, or z, probably have something negative they don’t show the world going on that is upsetting or making them jealous of someone else, too.  No one’s life is perfect, trust me.  Even if facebook or interaction with them makes it seem so.  It’s rare that a person really opens up with raw, true emotion and makes themselves vulnerable – friends might do it, family might do it, your SO might do it, but the rest of the world?  Nope.  So, stop and remind yourself – you have NO idea what is going on in their lives.  They might be getting engaged, but – accidentally pregnant, not finishing up school, going to be a SAHM instead of have a career or vice versa, not have enough moeny for their dream dress, not have enuogh money for their dream wedding, not have enuogh money for a nice honeymoon, not have a good relationship to begin with, their SO might have cheated on them and they just tell no one, their SO might just suck at life and they pretend that s/he’s great.. I mean, the list goes on and on and on.  You can’t judge and so you can’t be jealous.  I mean, you can be – but it won’t do anyone any good and if you think about it this way, you’ll quickly end those jealousy feelings. 

Post # 14
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

🙁 

 

Post # 15
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I don’t neccessarily get jealous of anyone i know, but there are times where it feels a little bittersweet to hear about others getting engaged or married because I feel like i’m a in a state of suspended animation with my future and I’m just ready to move forward already. Don’t get me wrong, i’m appreciating all of the time in between and trying to do small things for myself like cleaning out my house and small fix ups because i’ll be renting it out, and other little things to keep my mind off of it, working out, shopping, but it is frustrating.

My SO and I are both 35 and we agreed not to live together before being engaged, but he moved 25 miles away for a job last year and it’s been a big pain because he used to live 5 miles away. I should hopefully be getting engaged before February (our 2 year anniversary which was the timeline we both discussed) but I’m still so sick of waiting some days and REALLY hoping it’s sooner.

Whenever he emails me links to funny stories or things we should do that weekend, I always think in the back of my mind i hope you’re also looking for a ring!

Post # 16
Member
3849 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@Blondey89:  Believe me, as good as all those things that you want in your life are, there WILL be a day when what you have now sounds great.  Someday in the future you will have a husband and children and lots of responsibilities and very little “me” time.  On that day, when the baby is crying and your toddler is being a handful and hubby is irritating you, you WILL say “Boy, to have the place all to myself would be lovely”.  Not at all that you shouldn’t look forward to married life but try to enjoy the blessings of where you are right now too. 

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