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Because you are human. It's ok to feel jealous! Acting on emotions is a different story, but just FEELING them is something you can't control. Let yourself feel jealous if you do, but try not to wallow in it, and try to find things about your own situation that you are grateful for (not comparing to anyone, just things that you are glad about).
@SweetRose2011: First of all, don't feel bad. I think it's totally okay to have a pity party every once in awhile, as long as you know that's what it is, and it seems like you're pretty reasonable about it.
I am never going to tell anyone to go over budget for their wedding - like you said, all that matter is that this is the start of your MARRIAGE. But, it should still be a day you love and feel good about; otherwise, cancel the wedding and buy you and FI a week of jacuzzi rooms. Yes, your guests matter a lot, and they should be comfortable, but sometimes I think brides sacrifice too much of their wedding in the interest of guests. Obviously, there is a limit as to how much you cna make it about you, but the day will be 1,000 times more memorable to you than to the vast majority of your guests, so why should their desires take precedence over yours? Again, I am not recommending that you ignore their comfort or go over budget, but if you make it a day that is personal to you as a couple and that truly shares your joy with your guests, no one will remember that there wasn't a full bar.
Also, on less philosophical matters, I don't want to tell you to go on the offensive with this brides' parents, but I am guessing since your parents don't seem excited about the wedding and you are on such a tight budget, that they aren't contributing. If that is the case, no one says you have to invite anyone you don't want at your wedding. And if these people aren't close to you and it will make you less self-conscious about your day, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Hope that helps!
You are not wrong for feeling this way! I know how it is, to be watching every single penny. We are doing the same for our wedding, neither set of parents is giving us a dime towards anything. I know mine really can't afford it, and frankly it makes me feel good that we are doing this on our own anyway.
It's not wrong to feel like you are giving stuff up, because sometimes I feel that way too. It's just human.
But like other Bees have said, you are marrying the man you love. Be proud of what you guys were able to do yourselves, it says a lot about you both. It might not be as fancy as someone else's, but just the fact that you guys are doing it for yourselves and not depending on anyone else makes it much more special and meaningful. (at least in my opinion)
Hugs to you!
Hey girl! im in the same emotional boat! We have penny pinched since we started planning, my parents also introduce me the same as you LOL and they dont have any money to spend on our wedding... wait oh yes they do, they just gamble it away! My Fiance's cousin is getting married in the beggining of October, im getting married at the end, so obviously we are going to be compared (her family has money)
Dont you worry about the other bride!! And your parents do not need to invite that girls parents to your wedding just cause they are inviting them to theres. You should only invite who you want to see that day. The fact that you said you would marry your man in a t-shirt and jeans is awesome... you get the whole point of a wedding YOU TWO starting a marriage!!! Not the guests, not your parents... you and your soon to be husband. The jacuzzi, yes it would be fun and the glass on the tables, yup it would look pretty and the open bar, yup the guests would be able to drink EVEN MORE... but all that is extra! NOT NEEDED TO GET MARRIED! All the 'stuff' the other bride is going to have doesnt matter. I know that wont change how you feel right now, and trust me i am here with you. Even without the comparing, this is a stressful time for a bride to be, i seriously cry over the stupidest little things right now LOL. Just keep your head up girl, dont stress!!!!!
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I'm going to be honest. I'm struggling with a lot of different emotions right now.
I've told all of you lovely bees how we're really pinching money to make things work. Our reception site has four different choices for packages. We originally were going to pick the third since it's only close friends and family, but we realized there is going to be a $700 difference just to have a jacuzzi room for the night, one hour of open bar, and a mirrored tile to help with the centerpieces.
But it's not worth it. I was the one who suggested changing the packages, so why does it hurt so much when he suggested we go through with it last night? I felt like such a bitch, getting all emotional because we didn't have an open bar for that hour (but we'll still have free beer and wine). And how stupid is it that I was so attached to the jacuzzi room?
I think the fact of the matter is that we won't be able to know what we can do for our honeymoon until we get money from the wedding. I know that sounds awful, but right now, we just can't afford it. I know some people will give us money, and that'll have to go towards the honeymoon.
To make matters worse, my parent's best friend's daughter, just got engaged. and since her FI just got a job as an investment banker in Chicago, they are going to have a big blow out engagement party. My parents feel obligated to invite them since they will for sure invite my parents to the wedding. But I don't want my wedding to turn into a competition. And I hate that I'm feeling this way. WHY can't I control these emotions?
It's so stupid to feel this jealousy. I think it's hard because her family has the money to this, and I know that they are genuinely happy for her, whereas my parents acted like they wanted nothing to do with our engagement. There was no celebration. My dad still introduces me as "his daughter who he can't believe is getting married." And FI and I have been struggling since day one to make ends meet money wise, but this other girl seems to have it made.
I just wish I didn't feel like I had to give all this stupid stuff up.
But in the end, it's not the jacuzzi room that doesn't matter. It's the fact that I'm married to the man of my dreams. I could get married in jeans and a t-shirt and life would be good.
So, why do I feel like such a jealous bitch?