- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
I’m going to be honest. I’m struggling with a lot of different emotions right now.
I’ve told all of you lovely bees how we’re really pinching money to make things work. Our reception site has four different choices for packages. We originally were going to pick the third since it’s only close friends and family, but we realized there is going to be a $700 difference just to have a jacuzzi room for the night, one hour of open bar, and a mirrored tile to help with the centerpieces.
But it’s not worth it. I was the one who suggested changing the packages, so why does it hurt so much when he suggested we go through with it last night? I felt like such a bitch, getting all emotional because we didn’t have an open bar for that hour (but we’ll still have free beer and wine). And how stupid is it that I was so attached to the jacuzzi room?
I think the fact of the matter is that we won’t be able to know what we can do for our honeymoon until we get money from the wedding. I know that sounds awful, but right now, we just can’t afford it. I know some people will give us money, and that’ll have to go towards the honeymoon.
To make matters worse, my parent’s best friend’s daughter, just got engaged. and since her Fiance just got a job as an investment banker in Chicago, they are going to have a big blow out engagement party. My parents feel obligated to invite them since they will for sure invite my parents to the wedding. But I don’t want my wedding to turn into a competition. And I hate that I’m feeling this way. WHY can’t I control these emotions?
It’s so stupid to feel this jealousy. I think it’s hard because her family has the money to this, and I know that they are genuinely happy for her, whereas my parents acted like they wanted nothing to do with our engagement. There was no celebration. My dad still introduces me as “his daughter who he can’t believe is getting married.” And Fiance and I have been struggling since day one to make ends meet money wise, but this other girl seems to have it made.
I just wish I didn’t feel like I had to give all this stupid stuff up.
But in the end, it’s not the jacuzzi room that doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that I’m married to the man of my dreams. I could get married in jeans and a t-shirt and life would be good.
So, why do I feel like such a jealous bitch?