- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
This is not my main account, I would just hate for people to find this and be hurt since previous posts would be make identifying me and my wedding easy.
So months ago when I was first sending out invitations I asked my aunt for her two daughters addresses so I could invite them. She tells me just to send her the invites since she doesn’t know my cousin’s address. I send a family invitation saying that I’ve reserved four seats in their name. I realize this isn’t always considered the best etiquette but we had limited seating and it seemed easiest. I while knew that my younger cousin had a boyfriend before the wedding I’d never met him before and when I checked her facebook it didn’t say she was in a relationship so I wasn’t sure if they broke up recently or not (obviously we’re not close) so I decided if they wanted him to come they could just ask us and we would make room for that one person.
Well we get a response saying that my aunt, uncle, younger cousin and her boyfriend will be attending and MAYBE my older cousin. I would prefer if they would ask if they could have the extra seat rather than assume but it’s no big deal. But my aunt tells me that my older cousin will contact me to let me know if she’s coming or not. We ask several times for some sort of response. Weeks go by and we decide to just put her in the final head count just in case. My aunt finally sends me another email asking if my cousin and her boyfriend can come FIVE days before the wedding.
1. FIVE DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING
2. I didn’t even know my older cousin even had a boyfriend NO one in the family did.
3. My aunt gave my sister the HARDEST time about her boyfriend like a week before sending this email about how no one knew if he was real or not because no one had met him. She was a real bitch about it too. Like grilling her for details and snickering at her answers.
We told her that we had unfortunately already put in our final numbers and while we had made room for my cousin in case she could make it we didn’t know she had a boyfriend and hadn’t accounted for him. We didn’t get any response. I didn’t think anything of it until I was doing the rounds greeting everyone when I get to my cousin’s table and notice not one but two men wearing jeans that I’ve never met before. Neither of the boyfriends or my older cousin said a word to my during the entire wedding even when I went to the table – I thanked the entire table but I wasn’t in the mood to extend a lot of gratitude but I’d hugged my younger cousin before I noticed that the family had added two extra people instead of just one to their invite.
I was irritated but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night but then my aunt had the audacity to hunt me down and start laying into me about how I hadn’t been present for the last family picture and she didn’t have any pictures of me (there was a picture of my then fiancé and me in the invitation) and how upset it made her. I tell her that I’d be more than happy to give some prints of the wedding photos later but she insisted on getting pictures of me and my parents right at that moment. I told her that it wasn’t a great time because we were JUST about to do the first dance in like two minutes because the photographer had to leave early. She insisted and started pushing me towards the door and calling my parents. I called my husband over for the picture and she just pursed her lips and says she wants one with just me and my family. I tell her my husband is part of the family and she tells me she’ll take two. At this point I’m frantic to just get it over with so I can get to the dance and agree.
We finally get to the last dance and I’ll be the first to admit that our first dance was a little untraditional and neither of us are good at dancing but what happened next made me want to kick both my cousins out the wedding afterward – though they thankfully left all on their own almost immediately afterward. I heard people laughing loudly while dancing and looked over to see both my cousins making fun of us. Very obviously. It didn’t ruin the moment for me but I mean these people come to my wedding with two extra guests, didn’t rsvp until five days before the wedding, dressed down, eat our food and then leave right away without saying a word to me or my husband, demand that I pose for them while I’m clearly busy, act like my husband isn’t family and laugh at me during my first dance.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with these people in the future, I don’t even want to send them a thank you letter but they did give us $50 dollars “from the family” and I don’t want to be rude…but at the same time I really want to be rude. I’m so conflicted.