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(((HUGS)))) Lol---You are funny! Planning the wedding doesn't make you happy? I hope you feel better! 
i can relate. i was going through something a couple of weeks a go where i just felt anxious for no reason and started to question everything! it was really frustrating because i didn't know if i was just being silly or if there were serious issues. turns out i was just in a funk.
you'll get through it! everyone goes through times like this i think :)
There were times it got to be too much, but they pass. I think it's good your talking to your doctor about this especially since you have a previously diagnosed medical condition.
@chaotic bliss, ....wedding planning can get draining, and it doesn't always make me happy so I can understand where Kittyachi is coming from.
I think everyone gets in a funk sometimes! You're not alone. I swear sometimes I have PDD because when I have my period I'm a nutcase. You'll get back to the happy feelings but I think in general they ebb and flow. Can't be happy ALL the time! Hope you cheer up soon ;o)
The problem with thinking about wedding stuff when I feel like this - especially when the anxiety is bad - is that I start to think about the actual wedding day and how I'm deathly afraid I might have an anxiety attack before the ceremony. I really don't like a lot of attention and sometimes when I think about all those eyes on me it freaks me out big time. Is anyone else scared of that part? I mean, I get anxiety as a freakin bridesmaid.
yes! i am with you on that as well. i hate being the center of attention and people looking at me. it does make me anxious just thinking about it. how do you avoid that being the bride?? the way i see it though, i'll only have eyes for my guy on that day, and i won't even notice everyone else :) oh and we're not doing the garter toss or bouquet toss for this reason!
Yeah we're not doing bouquet/garter either. He really wanted us to do our own vows, too, and I had to veto that because I do NOT do public speaking. I was a reader in my friends wedding and I was literally physically shaking to the point where people in the church thought I was getting choked up when really my voice sounded like that because the bottom half of my body behind the lecturn was violently twitching. So, yeah, I've got issues.
Oh (((Kittyachi))) your second comment made me laugh in an I've-been-there sort of way.
I myself am full of mood swings and anxiety and depression. I think lots of people deal with that around here on WB and you are certainly not alone. I am glad to hear you're going to be talking with your doctor about it.
I often swing back and forth between happiness and sadness, even when nothing ostensibly has changed. Something that brought me joy yesterday could be greeted with indifference today. The unpinpointable downness is the hardest to explain, isn't it?
One thing that has helped me is to remember my perspective. I trace my moods over time and see that they cycle up and down. Most importantly, after they have been down, they always cycle back up again sooner or later. It can be hard to discern what exactly will promote the swing back to happiness; however, remembering and trusting in the pattern of history helps me bear the downtimes and anxiety a little better. Just remembering that it worked before can help, even if I do absolutely nothing else to engender this future happiness. Worrying about how sad and worried and anxious you are only compounds the hurt, like a disguised sort of wallowing. Your friends and family and fiance and the hive all still care about you.
Man, this is so hard to explain: I am trying to describe how to walk that line where you acknowledge your hurt and anxiety but give it neither deference nor admonition. It just is. Nonjudgmentally so. Seek solace in that you have gotten better before and in rituals that comfort you. A good night's sleep and some time in the sunshine will do you a wealth of good.
You mentioned you feel anxious about having an anxiety attack on your wedding day. I take from that that you've had them before? I have had panic attacks too and they are truly awful. But the chief precipatant of subsequent panic attacks is---get this---fear of panic attacks. But if you have a panic attack on your wedding day, you will still be okay in the end. You got through doing the reading, didn't you, and lived to tell the tale? You might have an attack, but don't let that own you.
Can you put measures in place to ensure that you have a safe place and people to go to in case you do feel panicky? My venues both had a "bride's room" where I kept my things and could duck into when things got a little overwhelming. There is nothing wrong with having to do to take some moments to yourself on your wedding day---or any day.
I hope you will be feeling better soon!
I was diagnosed with panic disorder 5 years ago, so I can totally relate to the anxiety.. and even the anxiety associated with having an anxiety attack. It can be a horrible, lonely feeling, and has often left me feeling isolated and depressed at times when I really needed someone.
One of the best things I did to help with my panic attacks and depression was see a counselor and learn how to live with having panic attacks. I learned that I can't always stop myself from having anxious feelings, but I can learn to listen to my body and prevent those feelings from getting out of control. Simple things like learning how to breathe and meditate, changing my diet (too much sugar makes me super anxious), and "talking myself down" from an anxiety attack have really helped me with my anxiety problem.
There are a lot of great books on anxiety, and if you feel comfortable talking to a counselor, I highly recommend it, it really helped me!
Oh I am there right now!
For me mine is related to PhD - I really don't think I want to do it anymore and this depresses me because I can't get out right now b/c the market is S*** and I will disappoint pretty much everyone... but luckily the rest of life is excellent and so weekends are good and any time I am not motivated (which is pretty much all the time) I think about the wedding and it cheers me up!
I hope that your doc can help you sort things out chemically and I always find a good workout session helps me out also!
I have a friend who has imbalance/anxiety issues and my heart goes out to you. I can imagine it's a difficult place to be in. Hopefully, your doctor will give you some good direction when you talk to him. In the meantime, realize that happiness is not just something one feels but it's an active choice. Try to do things each day that bring you some sort of peace/calm. For my friend, she found that she really enjoys hiking and the physical activity has helped her overall anxiety because she's physically exerting herself.
Also, I think the more you focus on being 'unhappy' the easier it is to spiral down into a deeper depression. Hopefully the depth of the funk will pass, but it's totally normal to have 'blue funk' days (as I like to call them) - where you just want the day to be over with already!
Ah, I TOTALLY feel you. The past two months I went into THE WORST anxiety I have ever had - and also experienced something I had never had before - depression!! I went through some rough things at work and personally, so I was just floored at how crummy I felt. I went to the doctor and have started seeing a therapist, but I went through some awful insomnia which of course just fed the anxiety. I am finally starting to feel better - lighter - and a lot of it has been 1) excercising, 2) getting some sleep (I needed a sleep aid but am coming off of it) and 3) I thought long and hard about this and know the pros and cons- I am taking a VERY SMALL dose of Celexa, which is an anti-depressant, but was prescribed to me for anti-anxiety. I debated about this for a long time, but realized with my doctor's supervision it couldn't hurt to try it. I've been on it a week now and I don't know if it's placebo or not, but I'm starting to feel like my worries and racing thoughts are really starting to be minimized. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but I think to get me through these stressful few months (I work in a really negative environment), it might be something to help me cope and learn how to deal with what's causing me such wicked mental anguish. Please take a look at the thread called "Anxiety" in wellness - I posted about this too and there was a lot of good advice. There IS help out there for you, and it's a good step coming to weddingbee as there are lots of women who have experienced this!! Message me if you have any questions or just want to chat!
Kittyachi - I have been following your posts and it sounds like you have been having such a rough time lately. My heart really goes out to you. I know what it is like to be depressed and have a rough time. Big HUGS :)
Kitty, lol. If misery wants the occasional company, read some of my posts! Mostly I'm okay, or excited, but I usually only post when things go wrong. I think it's perfectly natural to be extra stressed and emotional at this time. Even my psychiatrist thinks so! Apparently, I'm not the first bride to go through his office in the middle of an engagement. lol. The good times will return, I promise. Just hang in there :)
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I'm feeling really down lately and I don't know what it is. I've been in a funk for a while and I feel like I can't have any fun. Nothing makes me happy. I've been a real b***h to everyone. I feel completely joyless and all the excitement I should have is gone and I want it back :(
I have chemical imbalance issues so I'm sure that's part of it and will be discussing these feelings with my doc to see if we can get me back on track. The change in seasons always gets to me. But I can't help but wish that I could get back those excited happy feelings I had when we first got engaged and when we were dating. Nothing has changed between us. I still love him and want to marry him. I'm just feeling down and it's making me have all this crazy anxiety and second guess EVERYTHING in my entire life. Also, I just had a birthday and that depressed me even more.
I don't know. Does anyone else get in these funks and make yourself crazy second guessing what the hell you're doing with your life?