I wish I knew how to stop being so jealous. (Obviously a vent.)

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hugs. <3

Post # 4
Member
8821 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry you’re feeling this way.  I know how you feel, I used to feel that way sometimes.  It took me 7 months of TTC ad I got frustrated.  But I realized that a BFP is a blessing for anyone and I would be happy for them regardless. I kept telling myself “some day, one day, that will be me”.

 

And I promise you, one day it WILL be YOU.

 

Post # 5
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry. People like that suck. Sounds like she might be going through the same feelings as you but is handling it differently (and annoyingly at that).

Post # 6
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It must be really hard, my best friend has been trying to get pregnant since January with no luck. My husband and I started to try in April and got pregnant that month. I feel really guilty about it, she says she is really happy for me but I imagine she really must feel like you feel. She is my best friend and I want to share it with her and talk about baby stuff but at the same time I don’t want to “rub it in her face” either. I think I try to be sensitive but really I am not in her shoes so I can just guess how she feels. 

Maybe your friend doesn’t realize what she is doing, I would tell her how you feel. Maybe she is lacking in the sensitivity area. Is she like that with other things? 

Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Peffy:  I smile on the outside and scream on the inside! Loudly! Seems like your friend is setting herself up for a hell of a lot of ttc disappointment. 

Post # 9
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Try not to get too stressed. The universe always sets every right eventually. People who act like that and gloat in the face of others have something in them that makes them incredibly insecure. Take comfort knowing your life is probably happier than hers. Or she wouldn’t have to go around trying to make herself feel important. Just my 2 cents! 

Post # 10
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know, it’s horrible. I see people getting their BFPs and I AM genuinely thrilled for them..and then a little voice in my head, says I WANT IT TOO!! Take no notice of your “friend” – I have a relative who likes to drop hints that she might be pregnant and she’s been doing it on and off for two years now, like, seriously?! As far as the jealousy thing goes – try to distract yourself and forget about it. I know, I know, easier said than done. I get mad when people tell me to try to relax. I DON’T WANT TO RELAX! When I’m sad, I shop (not just over ttc/babies) so I’ve got a ‘baby box’ of neutral things that I buy when I’m struggling. Helps makes things seem a bit more real and positive!

Post # 11
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not sure there is a whole lot you can do. Just keep trying, try to be happy and realize that every time someone else gets a BFP they were exactly where you currently are and now they are where you hope to be soon 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Peffy:  I’m sorry! *hugs* I had a roommate years ago that swore she was pregnant, regularly. Her claim was craving a Big Mac, because she hated them normally and only wanted one when she was pregnant with her first kid. Took her to the ER more than once, and it turned out to be dehydration from drinking Mountain Dew all the time instead of water and other stuff. Yell She did this for 5 months. Drove me nuts!

And I know it’s hard to deal with other people especially when they end up pregnant. Some old classmates of mine have had like 5 kids, one had her 8th or 9th recently, and I just keep shaking my head and wondering if I’m meant to have any at all. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that you get your BFP sooner rather than later, and feel free to pm me if you want to vent!

Post # 13
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Peffy:  My friend who was trying for three years told me she’s pregnant and I was sodelighted for her …. Then a little bit of jealousy crept in!!! Seriously!!! I think it’s just human nature. Then I remind myself that it’s only been 4 months so it’s all pretty normal!! Good luck getting yours! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Peffy:  I can commiserate. It seems like everyone and their sister is getting pregnant around me these days, and I have mini self-pity parties almost daily. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for the majority of my friends who have announced, but there are some (a family member included) who like to shove it in my face a lot, too… not to mention, some who shouldn’t even procreate having baby #2 or #3… it’s just a lot to handle.

Post # 15
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so sorry your friend isn’t being very sensitive to your feelings.  I am surprised she would continue to say every month that she might be pregnant after a few months of having it not happen.  I would try to ignore her, I know people like this and they are tough to deal with.  As far as the jealousy goes, don’t beat yourself up I’m sure everyone has felt this before, I know I have.  What helped me was realizing that just because someone else got a BFP does not mean I am any less likely to get mine.  Remembering that helped me stay sane.  I also found some great inspirational quotes and kept them on my phone when I got frustrated with the process. Here’s the link, it’s an older thread but the quotes in there are really great! Good luck to you!http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ttc-inspiration-graphic-pick-me-upthread#axzz2ZUcFdhX7 

Post # 16
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I can relate to feeling jealous. I’ve seen two pregnancy announcements on FB this week plus the royal baby coming and it just feels like everyone is PG but me.  I would just try to change the subject when your friend brings it up.  She’s obviously seeking attention.

As for your DH, I don’t think guys get it.  DH has mentioned a couple times how he feels like BD is a chore now.  He says people get PG all the time without trying.  Well, sorry, if you don’t try during the FW, you’re out of luck!  He doesn’t understand my emotions either.  I have to push back my testing to try to save money and he thinks I should be happy since we’re potentially saving $400.  I want to save the money but waiting another month is still hard.

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