I would normally NEVER ask, but…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Ask the bride if mom can sit in on the ceremony : (66 votes)
    63 %
    Have mom do something else for the hour : (33 votes)
    31 %
    Other (explain in comments) : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @lalalorelai44:  I think you should say all of this to the bride then ask her is she has some suggestions as to what you Mom should do during that time. Don’t directly ask if she can come to the ceremony. But the bride might not have thought about all this and she may say something like “oh well why doesn’t your FI just come along with us!?” or “just tell your mom to come to the ceremony” or maybe she knows a cool place for you mom to go?? But at least this way she’s the one coming up with the ideas, not you.

    Post # 4
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Have mom do something else.  If you ask the bride for mom to sit in on the ceremony the bride will feel bad about not inviting her to the reception.  Actually, why doesn’t your FI and your mom find something to do until the reception?  I don’t see a problem with him skipping the ceremony in this instance, plus it will give him some time to bond with your mom.

    Edit: It is the week before the wedding, LEAVE THE BRIDE ALONE!

    Post # 5
    36 posts
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think that entirely depends on how the bride has been throughout the preparation… has she been fairly level headed or has she been really picky and stressy?

    I would have no problem with you asking me, especially under the circumstances. It’s really not an unreasonable request.

    Is the ceremony in a church? Cos anyone can go to church weddings…

    Post # 6
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @lalalorelai44:  mmmm part of me thinks you may as well ask, the other part thinks the bride might feel pressured to invite your mum to reception

    Post # 7
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Can your fiance come up with you and stay in a hotel alone the night before? That would save your mom having to drive him and would eliminate the situation with her wanting to attend the ceremony.

    It sucks that SOs aren’t invited to the bus/pictures. My fiance was the best man in a wedding like that, but it ended up being okay in the end because I was able to spend more time in the hotel room sleeping and getting ready.

    Post # 8
    3506 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @lalalorelai44:  I don’t see the harm in asking if your mom can go to the ceremony. They aren’t paying per person at the ceremony, so it’s not going to cost them anything. If the bride has known her for a long time you’d think she would want her to be there, even if she isn’t going to the reception. I personally wouldn’t have minded if someone came to the ceremony even though they weren’t technically invited.

    Post # 10
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Please dont talk to the bride. Just have your hubby skip the ceremony. She wont ever know and no one will miss him. 

    Post # 11
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If a bridesmaid asked me this, I would have been COMPLETELY fine with it.

    Post # 12
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    assuming the ceremony is in a church – unless it’s exceptionally small – I don’t see anything wrong with you mom sitting in on the ceremony.  




    Post # 14
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    I was going to say that FI can stay at the same hotel, which would solve the problem of your mom driving and being bored, but that was before you responded with the hotel price and that you already talked to your friend, so never mind, lol.  

    Post # 15
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @ohmybears48:  +1000000

    Just have FI skip the ceremony. No one will notice, and it will be WAY more convienent for everyone!

    Post # 16
    3806 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My logical self agrees with this: @AllieBee12:  @lalalorelai44:  I think you should say all of this to the bride then ask her is she has some suggestions as to what you Mom should do during that time.”

    But my more realistic self really wants you to do this: @beachbride1216:  It is the week before the wedding, LEAVE THE BRIDE ALONE!”

    Seriously, I have 45 more days to go, and the weariness of my brain can barely handle the decisions that must be made at this point. I can not fathom the thought of dealing with anymore etiquette, logistics, arrangemnents for able-bodied adults the week before the wedding. You just gotta figure it out on your own.


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