Post # 1
Long story short – last night I mention to FI how I think getting a tattoo with or because of a SO is something I would never do – I have heard countless stories (hello Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee) who have and then they break up and are left with the tattooed evidence.
FI got extremely offended because of this. He said it made him feel sad and uneasy, as if I would feel the need to “protect” myself somehow and that I am in a way preparing for the possibility that it won’t work out. WTF?? This – after I told him while I wouldn’t want a tatoo, I DO want a child with him no matter what, and to me that’s more “permanent” and more of a symbol of a life/relationship together than some ink on skin.
I totally understand why my stance would upset him; I really do. But I tried pointing out how I took a leap of faith by moving here to live with him after a very short time, away from friends and family. I want to marry him more than anything and I don’t want to ever have to live life without him. We went to bed both upset but with him holding me… This morning we said we loved each other and want to spend our lives together, but I think we both still feel off. 🙁
Was I/he/either of us overreacting? Ugh…
Post # 3
I have the same policy. If your name or something in your honor goes on me, I’d better have birthed or adopted you. It’s not a lack of faith in dbf or our relationship, but even when we’re married my opinion won’t change
Post # 4
@mrs_pudding_pop: I think he’s overreacting. I think it’d be cool if my husband got a tattoo of our pets’ names or something, but he’d have to be an idiot to get my name permanently inked on his body.
Post # 5
I think he’s overreacting, sorry but it’s wise to be realistic and not live in a fantasy world. I hate tattoos in general, but even if I loved them there’s no way I’d get a tattoo resembling a relationship on me. You simply never know what can happen.
ETA – no one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, but the divorce rate is still 50%….
Post # 6
I’d have no problem doing it, such as around my ring finger. Not sure if I ever will though.
Post # 7
@Laurenplusalex: Exactly! But my policy also extends to birthed peoples lol…
He took it as my not having faith things will work out. Which sucks because I am 110% invested and have faith in this relationship… 🙁
Post # 8
FH and I have agreed that we would never get each other’s names tattooed on our bodies, unless something bad has happened…touch wood! I wouldn’t even get pets’ names tattooed on me. Maybe just my kids and an influential relative.
Post # 9
Um, I think he’s being pretty ridiculous. Tattooing your SO’s name is risky business!
Of course, this is coming from a girl who would never in a million years get a tattoo- I don’t even have my ears pierced (though sometimes I think about doing it). Permanent body modification scares me.
Post # 10
This is one of those “Agree to disagree items”. I happen to agree with you, but I can still see his point of view. As long as you both accept the others viewpoint I dont think you can convince the other person to side with you.
Itll pass over quickly.
Post # 11
@ThreeMeers: He said I have every right to have the opinion that I do, just as I understand why he feels the way he does, but achk.
He even said he’ll get over it, but it just really surprised me that this would hurt his feelings so much.
I did mention the face that he was married before not thinking he’d divorce, and it happened. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I think sometimes he idealizes things more than I, and I’m more of the tough love/realist… Sometimes we switch roles with that, but it just frustrates me.
Post # 12
If he is basing your quality of love for him on getting a tattoo of his name, he needs to start thinking about this more logically.
Post # 13
He’s majorly overeacting IMO. Then again, I get bent out of shape over stupid things too sometimes.. we all do probably.
Maybe it’s the way you said it? I don’t know. It’s a cliche now that getting a name tattoo leads to breakups. EVERYONE seems to say it. I don’t get why he’d be offended. Maybe it’s his time of the month? 😛
Post # 14
i agree with you on this, but me and SO both have the same thought and agreed a long time ago we will NEVER tattoo each others names, have seen that turn out badly too many times lol we do however both have tattoos! he has way more than me though, i got one done on each foot for our 2 kids, he also has their names on his arms. but we’d still never risk each other’s names. I hope he comes around and understands, he should!
its not that either of us think we wont be together forever but inking something like that is to me almost like sealing your fate of things going bad? i dont know why i think that but i do 🙂 or its just a major pain and expense to try and remove it :/
Post # 15
Well, I don’t understand his feelings. I think it’s immature and controlling for him to want you to be branded as his in some misguided representation of love and loyalty. Not that it should be relevant, but do you have other tattoos?
Post # 16
A tattoo to show your faithfulness is about the same as a Facebook post that shows your devotion …or a ring that shows devotion by wearing it on your left hand. We all know a ring doesn’t make someone committed, a FB post doesn’t make ones relationship more legitimate and a tattoo doesn’t make you more committed, faithful or 100% in it, either. It is just another way [of many], that people can choose to express their devotion. Not having one and choosing NOT to have one doesn’t make your relationship unstable or less valid.