(Closed) I’d like to scream really loud (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would kindly remind her that her dress for your wedding should have been ordered weeks ago. If she’s reminding you about ordering your dress for her wedding, then you should totally remind her about ordering her dress for your wedding. I would give her a chance to buy the dress and if she doesn’t then tell her that she can back out if she wants to. She should get the hint. 

As for her wedding being soon after yours, I would probably not be too thrilled with that either. 

Post # 4
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Please don’t scream really loud, my migraine has just calmed down.  🙂  

I’d send her an e-mail asking if she’s bought her BM dress yet.  And, for the record, my BMs haven’t ordered their dresses yet.

Post # 6
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I completely agree with everything that @CaitMarae said! Could you text her back and say, “Oh, thanks for letting me know. By the way, that reminds me, have you ordered your dress yet?” Just turn it around back on her. If she gives you a poor excuse, then ask her if she still wants to be in your wedding party.

  I would be getting nervous, too! It’s the beginning of February, and it looks like you’re about three months out!

Post # 7
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Grr, I hate it when the spotlight is taken from me. So if my friend got engaged I would be a little sad. I would put on my “happy” face, but secretly be jealous. So your reaction is probably better than mine. Anyway, I find it interesting that she is bridezilla about her bridesmaid dresses when she didn’t even order yours yet. Is it possible that she did order it but from somewhere else? Maybe she thinks she ordered it but didn’t. (I’m stretching here).

I think you should just talk to her and tell her that you will order your just ASAP. But then also tell her you were hurt about that AND remind her that she still has a dress to order as well. Maybe offer her some support in planning her wedding so she doesn’t get bridezilla again. I dunno… but she defintitely needs to order that dress soon! I don’t think she was being mean about telling your friend to remind you though. It was probably a nonchalant thing and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

Post # 8
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

Are you good enough friends to respond with ‘I’ll order mine when you order yours, lol’?  It’s passive agressive, which I normally hate, but when you’re trying to be subtle it’s a handy tool.

Or how about saying ‘Let’s go together to get our respective BM dresses and we’ll spend the WHOLE day talking about our weddings!’

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with luckyprincess, sometimes a little blunt honesty goes a long way. she needs to order her dress 1st! You should say that, in a jokey but straight way.

Post # 13
Member
46154 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am a firm believer in clear communication. I would call her up and say:

” B told me that you had asked her to remind me to order my bridesmaid dress, and that reminded me that you are the only bridesmaid who hasn’t ordered her dress for my wedding which is 2 months before yours.

I thought I should call so we could talk.”

Let her take it from there- see if she responds with an excuse or if she brings up the idea of dropping out of each other’s wedding.

Post # 15
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Don’t de-bridesmaid her! I just got de-bridesmaided for not replying to an email within a week and apprently “changing since college” What a horrible thing….and now I’ve lost a friend.

Post # 16
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What the heck?! I think that you’re over-reacting on this. She sent a text to a friend asking her to remind you to order a dress. WHO CARES? Order your dress!  Then send her a text reminding her to order hers. (If your wedding is in May, you REALLY need to get on that. With Chinese New Year right now, you may have a bit of trouble getting them on time.)

Good luck, calm down. When you do, you still may be a little annoyed, but I’m willing to bet that you already had something against her prior to this (other than not ordering her dress) for you to get this angry about it.

Have a glass of wine and cheer up! Planning weddings is FUN! I can’t wait for my MOH to get engaged so we can all plan together!!! (She may set her date for three weeks after me…. It’s going to take some coordination, but I’m SOOOO excited!)

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