Idea to help keep people from adding themselves to the RSVP card..

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I put “Please RSVP only for those named on your invitation.”

Of course, we still had a couple of people add uninvited guests. I don’t think there’s any way to completely get around it because some people are going to do what they want, and we just have to deal with it. But I think it worked pretty well for the most part.

I don’t think your line will discourage people from adding additional guests. They’ll just make sure they put the additional name on the card so it can be worked into the seating chart.

Post # 4
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Quicksand:  I think it would be inappropriate to do what you have proposed. It would be insulting to those who do know the proper response to an invitation. It won;t stop those who choose to ignore etiquette.

You will just have to deal with problems if they arise.

Post # 6
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am making invites for my friend and this is what I’m doing for her RSVPs, obviously she will be writing the number of people invited/attending.s

Post # 7
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Quicksand:  Properly addressing the invitations should suffice.  If it doesn’t, address the problems that come up on a case by case basis.  I have never haerd of people in real life RSVPing for people not on the invitation.

Post # 8
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe use the “word of mouth” approach?  We’ve already been throwing around the, no plus ones, and that we are limited on space and inviting people only in our lives that we know because we can only afford that.  People that know us know the circumstances.  

or, I agree, deal with it when they arise.  

 

Post # 9
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Quicksand:  We just wrote how many seats were reserved in their honor. The guests wrote their names on the line & we used those to create our escort cards. It worked well! The only problem we had was certain cousins couldn’t make it because they were away at college and instead, they wrote a date’s name (so the cousin would bring a date since their sibling couldn’t attend). Honestly, we didn’t care because no one exceeded the seats reserved for them, but just expect that this may happen 🙂

Post # 10
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsWBS:  It’s happened to me, my sister and other people I know who have gotten married. But it’s nice to know you didn’t have to deal with it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CurlyTop24:  I hear about it all the time on here and can’t even fathom it!  Maybe it just varies group to group.  

Post # 14
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

I would just deal with exceptions rather than explain about the seating chart.

Post # 15
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

You including the number of seats SHOULD be crystal clear. You might have 1 or 2 rude idiots ignore it, but I think that would be it. Most people aren’t that stupid or rude… hopefully!

Post # 16
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would have dispensed with the “horrid” little cards, as Miss Manners calls them,  altogether, but caved in recognition of the fact that  the vast majority of people wouldn’t  pull out their own stationery and write or call back in a timely fashion without them.   I did respect the intelligence of my guests enough to “risk” RSVP cards that were totally empty except for  “the favor of a reply is requested by January 1, 20XX” along the top.  People somehow managed to reply appropriately in the empty space and no one added uninvited guests. 

 I would not do what you are suggesting, however.   You really do risk offending people who know how to read an invitation and how to answer one. I agree with those who are saying to deal with anyone who has the nerve or is ignorant enough to add extra guests on a one by one basis. 

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