(Closed) Ideal amount of time to date before getting engaged?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you think is the ideal amount of time to date before getting engaged?
    If it feels right - immediately! : (7 votes)
    3 %
    Less than 6 months : (1 votes)
    0 %
    6 mos - 1 year : (12 votes)
    5 %
    1 year : (22 votes)
    10 %
    2-3 years : (89 votes)
    40 %
    3-4 years : (19 votes)
    9 %
    4-5 years : (5 votes)
    2 %
    More than 5 years : (5 votes)
    2 %
    It depends on your age (if you start dating young, more time; older, less time) : (48 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1801 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I used to think around 2 years would be ideal, but I knew my DH was the one and was ready around a year.  We got engaged at about 1 1/2 years.  Looking back it seems fast, but it was right for us.  I don’t think anyone could ever put an ideal time on it, like you said it’s different for everyone based on their own individuality.

    Post # 4
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think 2 and a half years is perfect. The only case is if you are in high school when you start dating. Then maybe 4 years or more. We started dating in college and got engaged after 3 years and 9 months of dating. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

     2 yrs

    We’ll be at 2 yrs this Saturday. JUST the right amount of time from my personal timeline before I even met him!LOL I always said I wanted to get engaged in the 2nd year.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    In my mind once a couple has gotten past the 1yr mark, I feel they are heading into the “ok to get engaged zone”

    Post # 7
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Every situation is different but I personally feel that the couple should date for atleast a few years before becoming engaged. FI and I had been dating for more than 5 years and had lived together for more than 4.5 by the time we were engaged.

    We set up one of my best friends with one of FI’s best friends at around the 3.5 year mark of our relationship. They hit it off and 6 months later were engaged, then 6 months after that they were married. I thought that this was WAYYYYYYYYYY too fast. 

    ETA: I submitted before I finished my thought… I was going to say that while I thought it was too fast then, they made it work and are very happy now. Given they’ve only been married for about a year but they just had their first child and seem to be doing well. Was it something that I would have done 6 months into my relationship? NO WAY but everyones different. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    we got engaged at right about 18 months. for us it was the perfect amount of time. we were at a great place in the relationship and we had the finances to do it. honestly i think if we had waited more than 6 more months it would have started to take a negative toll on our relationship—i was 26 and he had just turned 30 when we got engaged.

    Post # 9
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We were one month shy of our 9 year anniversary when FI proposed. I was 24 at the time and my FI was 25. We were high school sweethearts and wanted to be done with school and be able to do our own things before we got married. Glad we waited until it was the right time for us!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted If it feels right.

    But it also depends on age and experience, at 22 I knew when I met FI that I wanted to marry him, and he knew as well because he bought the ring 4 months after we met. But he didn’t ask me until over a year after that, so it’s a nice healthy mix of 1=if it feels right and 18 months 😀 And we’ll be engaged for 23 months when we marry 😀

    Post # 11
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I chose if it feels right, because I was engaged after a month, and previously, I had always been a ‘have to date at least a year’ kind of girl. I was actually going to do a persuasive speech about it for a class right after I met him. I was never able to go through with it, because I had a feeling that it just wasn’t going to happen that way. Sure enough, we were engaged a few weeks later.

    I surprised even myself when I wanted to marry him right away. My husband and I were married 8 months after we met, which was 7 months after we started dating.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted other…I think I was ready after my FI and I had some serious conversations about the following

    • sex – I think sexual compatibility is a very important part of my relationship with FI and I wanted to make sure that our expectations were if not exactly the same…at least similar
    • finances – not so much as how much money we each had..more about our views about money, credit worthiness, retirement goals
    • religion – we both wanted to make sure that our religious views meshed. I consider myself to be more spiritual than religious but we were both were raised in the church.
    • general relationship issues – how we raised (will raise) our current children and any future children, views about what constitutes grounds for divorce, etc.

    For us..it happened pretty quickly. We got engaged after 2 months but have been engaged for 4 years.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I said 4-5 years even though DH and I got engaged right before 4 years. I had always imagined myself dating my future husband for at least 5 years before getting married. Even though DH and I had been together for less time than I had predicted, we had been living together for 2.5 years at that point and we felt ready. I feel like in the 4.75 years we were together by the time we got married we have been through enough to know that we can last. Thats why I think 4-5 years is a good amount of time. You are able to experience the true ups and downs of a relationship because any relationship goes through cycles. You are also able to see how well you can move forward from any hardships and work together. Thats what was right for us but I know thats not whats right for everyone!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I really dont think there is an “ideal” time. I think that the right time is different for each person.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    first of all, you shouldn’t worry about what other people think.  if they’re really your friends, they’ll be happy when you get engaged, no matter what.  and, you’ve already stuck around longer than i would have.  after the 2 year anniversy if a guy still didn’t even want to talk about or bring up being engaged, i would walk away from the relationship.  my DH and i only dated a couple of months before we got married, and yes, i wish we had lated longer, but we’re in it now.  i think a year to a year and a half is a good time to propose.

    Post # 16
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I voted for 2-3 years just because that was when I really started wanting him to propose. I definitely think it depends on your age/life circumstances at the time though. We met when we were still both in college and we wanted to make sure we could handle the real world together before making such a big commitment. I think if we had met after graduating, that our relationship would have moved much faster.

     

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