(Closed) Ideas for including my FI's deceased brother

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Could he put something in his pocket with the ‘hanky’? Like a photo or a memento from the brother? I’m having similar problem thinking of something to include my mum who passed away when I was 15. I’m planning on having a vase of mum’s favourite flowers (bird of paradise). That way people that knew her will be able to appreciate it but it’s not in your face.

Post # 4
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@theone99:  We struggled with this because we really wanted to include two recently deceased loved ones without being a downer at a happy time. Ultimately, in addition to a locket on my bouquet, we dedicated a song – The Likes of You Again by Flogging Molly – to them as the first dance song after we gave our Thank You speech, and explained why we were playing it. Its a song the singer wrote about reminscing about his deceased father – but its a HAPPY upbeat song about good memories of someone who is no longer around.   So if there’s anything like that – a song he loved, or something more symbolic?  H’s mom also wears a small gold hawk pin because she thinks of their loved one whenever she sees a hawk in the sky – maybe ask your FI if theres anything symbolic like that?

Post # 6
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

Does someone have FI’s brothers watch? That could be something FI could wear to bring him close to his brother.

Or a ring, necklace, cufflinks, etc… 

Post # 8
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Cufflinks would be nice. Maybe a pocket watch with a photo inside?

 

Post # 9
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

In the UK, many charities offers “wedding favour donations” .  You donate money to the charity, and thenthey give to you little place cards explaining about your donation and about what this money will go to.  Maybe you could do something along the same lines?  Were any charitable organisations a support for your DH’s brother as well as the family during and after his illness which they would like to awknowledge?  If they don’t provide cards, you could make some yourself, explaining that you are donating to “Charity Anon” in memory of DH’s Brother who couldn’t be with you.

Would DH and his family feel comfortable with something like this?

Post # 10
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re doing a small memory table with photos of family who has passed away, including my fiance’s brother.

Post # 11
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not sure where I saw this but the bride had a framed picture of her mom propped up on the seat she would have been sitting at for the ceremony.  I actually liked the way it looked and the idea,  not sure if that would make him too sad to look at while you are getting married though 🙁

Post # 12
Member
19 posts
Newbee

What about locket cufflinks?  Put a picture of his brother in there so he can be by your FI’s side.  

Post # 13
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I went to a wedding where the bride’s father has just recently passed from cancer. When you walked into the place where the ceremony was going to be held, they had a picture of him sitting on a small table with a candle lit, and a sign that something something like — for those that have gone, you are in our hearts forever. I cannot remember the wording exactly, but it was really nice. 

Post # 14
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I went to a wedding this weekend and they put their loved ones coats over a chair. Like one of the bride’s uncles wore a harley davidson coat and that was drapped over a chair. The other coat’s were suit jackets their grandfathers wore. I thought that was a really neat idea. 

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