Post # 1
My FI’s brother sadly passed away from cancer very suddenly 2 years ago. He was only 25 and everyone is very heartbroken over it.
I’d love to include him in our ceremony in a way that doesn’t make other guests feel awkward or the family upset.
I love the idea of hanging a picture off the bouquet, but need something appropriate for my future hubby that he can hold close to his heart.
I’m a bit stuck on ideas and could use some help- thanks Bees!
Post # 3
Could he put something in his pocket with the ‘hanky’? Like a photo or a memento from the brother? I’m having similar problem thinking of something to include my mum who passed away when I was 15. I’m planning on having a vase of mum’s favourite flowers (bird of paradise). That way people that knew her will be able to appreciate it but it’s not in your face.
Post # 4
@theone99: We struggled with this because we really wanted to include two recently deceased loved ones without being a downer at a happy time. Ultimately, in addition to a locket on my bouquet, we dedicated a song – The Likes of You Again by Flogging Molly – to them as the first dance song after we gave our Thank You speech, and explained why we were playing it. Its a song the singer wrote about reminscing about his deceased father – but its a HAPPY upbeat song about good memories of someone who is no longer around. So if there’s anything like that – a song he loved, or something more symbolic? H’s mom also wears a small gold hawk pin because she thinks of their loved one whenever she sees a hawk in the sky – maybe ask your FI if theres anything symbolic like that?
Post # 5
He loved 4WDing so maybe I could get little silver 4WD pins that groomsmen (also FI’s brothers) could wear next to their flower. Good idea, thank you!!
Post # 6
Does someone have FI’s brothers watch? That could be something FI could wear to bring him close to his brother.
Or a ring, necklace, cufflinks, etc…
Post # 7
No his brother never wore any jewelry at all. I just found these which could be clipped to the flower they wear on their chest? It’s only tiny, but he adored 4WDing. I’m also looking for 4WD cufflinks as an alternative 🙂
Post # 8
Cufflinks would be nice. Maybe a pocket watch with a photo inside?
Post # 9
In the UK, many charities offers “wedding favour donations” . You donate money to the charity, and thenthey give to you little place cards explaining about your donation and about what this money will go to. Maybe you could do something along the same lines? Were any charitable organisations a support for your DH’s brother as well as the family during and after his illness which they would like to awknowledge? If they don’t provide cards, you could make some yourself, explaining that you are donating to “Charity Anon” in memory of DH’s Brother who couldn’t be with you.
Would DH and his family feel comfortable with something like this?
Post # 10
We’re doing a small memory table with photos of family who has passed away, including my fiance’s brother.
Post # 11
Not sure where I saw this but the bride had a framed picture of her mom propped up on the seat she would have been sitting at for the ceremony. I actually liked the way it looked and the idea, not sure if that would make him too sad to look at while you are getting married though 🙁
Post # 12
What about locket cufflinks? Put a picture of his brother in there so he can be by your FI’s side.
Post # 13
I went to a wedding where the bride’s father has just recently passed from cancer. When you walked into the place where the ceremony was going to be held, they had a picture of him sitting on a small table with a candle lit, and a sign that something something like — for those that have gone, you are in our hearts forever. I cannot remember the wording exactly, but it was really nice.
Post # 14
I went to a wedding this weekend and they put their loved ones coats over a chair. Like one of the bride’s uncles wore a harley davidson coat and that was drapped over a chair. The other coat’s were suit jackets their grandfathers wore. I thought that was a really neat idea.