- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Our big day is fast approaching, and I’m desperately looking for a way to include the Father of the Groom in the day’s activities.
Breaking with tradition, because my father passed away some years ago, because FI and I are both 30yrs old and working professionals, and because the Groom’s family is full of boys (no brides) and they are comfortable enough to offer, we will be paying for the wedding ourselves, with help from the Groom’s parents. The kicker is, I need to find a way to involve my future father-in-law in a way that doesn’t tell the world they contributed financially– because they want NO ONE to know. (So far we’ve managed that really well and everyone just thinks we’re throwing our own wedding and they are doing the rehearsal. That’s super-important to them because they don’t want to set precedent with the other children, and they also want complete deniability if a family member has a beef about who’s invited, who’s not, etc.)
The MOB and MOG are participating in a hand-fasting during our ceremony, but as the groom says “It’s not ‘Everyone Gets a Trophy Day’,” it’s OUR wedding day, so he’d like to limit too many people being involved in the actual ceremony. So beyond the bridal party (10 of them) and the mothers, we’re not adding any extra elements to include people (the readings are all being done by our minister).
SO… to the question— do you Bees out there have any ideas for ways to involve the Father of the Groom (so he feels like he’s not just the bank!) without making it a ceremony element or a formal “Thank you for coming” speech at the reception? (He’s expressed opposition to thank you for coming speech because he thinks, somewhat right so, that it will cause people to assume they paid, since traditionally the bride’s father pays AND makes the speech).
What do you all think?!?!? Help!!