Post # 1
My FI has some weight he says he’d like to lose before the wedding, but he doesn’t seem all that motivated about actually making changes. I have tried to tactfully make a few suggestions and get him to come exercise with me (I’m a gym addict and we have one in our building) but he hasn’t budged. We try to eat healthy at home, but he has a very hard time resisting when people bring donuts into work, we are at a social event, etc. I’m also trying to be extra healthy/fit for the wedding, which I hoped would motivate him a little.
I love him exactly the way he is of course, but feel that he will appreciate our wedding pictures more if he looks and feels his best and most confident on our wedding day. I also think it could be a good incentive for him to get a little healthier. Also, to be totally honest, while I enjoy how cuddly his body feels, I am more attracted to him when he is at a healthier weight. He’s not largely overweight but has put on 20-25 pounds in the year and a half since I met him and is very out of shape.
He has a particularly stressful time at work ahead, so I understand it might not be the best time for a diet overhaul. Anyone have any advice about what suit cuts or styles look best on (very) tall men with bellys? Anyone find themselves in a similar situation?
Post # 3
@gruyere: I think it’s good you are thinking about what he can wear, but you’re going to have to deal with his weight/health for the rest of your life, so I think you may need to have a direct and difficult convo.
Post # 4
I agree with Monarch. You might also start with having him get a physical. I know that’s what did it for my husband. He wasn’t really overweight, and he was in pretty good shape, so he didn’t pay much mind to the couple of pounds that crept on every year. It took getting him in for a complete physical and having a doctor say, “You need to lose 15-20 lbs., and here are some ideas for how to do it” to get him motivated. Once my husband got motivated, it has been pretty easy to keep him there by insisting that we do things together (meal planning, weekend hikes/runs/long walks, same gym schedule to hold each other accountable, etc.). GOOD LUCK.
Post # 5
Have you tried talking to him not about the weight aspect, but the health aspect? If he were to lose only 5% of his body weight can lower his risk of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, cancer, sleep apnea etc….
For his health he should be worried about those 25 lbs. A lot of people “know” they would be healthier with some lost weight, but they dont really understand the consequences. Showing that you care can help motivate him. Ask him what you can do to help him. You cant make him do anything, but you can support him.
Post # 6
@septcabride: The physical is a really good idea. I feel like I’ve had a pretty direct talk about health, and don’t want to be a daily nag (;-)) but maybe it would be good for him to hear it from someone else. Thanks!
Post # 7
@lefeymw: Yeah, I’ve tried this somewhat, and he is pretty aware of the health issues because his dad has heart problems. He just doesn’t seem to convert his desire to lose weight into action well….
Thanks for the advice.