Ideas for my own proposal?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@highschoolhoneys:  FI had no clue how to propose. I tried giving him vague ideas like places important to us or things we like, but it didn’t really help. I finally told him to just keep it private because I did’t want anyone staring at us – so he took me to lunch at a special pub, took me to get chocolate at the local store he worked at in college, and proposed in front of my bookshelves at home.

If your BF is asking for ideas then throw out some ideas – if he seems frustrated when you do that, then maybe suggest he speak to someone that knows you guys well and see if they can brainstorm together. Its also possibile that the words you’re using to describe the proposal are stressing him out or confusing him. Sweet and simple go together, but pairing them with romantic and memorable may have confused him – when it comes to proposals, most people think overthetop and public when they hear “romantic” and “memorable”.

Post # 5
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@highschoolhoneys:  That sounds relatively perfect to me. Smile Seriously, the less complicated the better.

Your BF may not agree or understand though. Waiting can put a huge amount of pressure on the person waiting, but proposing and figuring out how to propose puts a huge amount of pressure on the person asking too. Girls AND guys have these preconceived notions of what a proposal should be like – I tried telling my FI that I didn’t want a diamond engagement ring and it seriously left him really confused because he feels that is what you’re supposed to do. He had never heard or any other stones being used for an engagement ring, so it made the process a lot more complicated and confusing for him. He was very happy and relieved when I agreed that he could get a diamond engagement ring for me (and he did an excellent job). I mean, it seemed relatively simple to me but it completely confused him and made everything more stressful for him.

If he brings the topic up again maybe just tell him “keep it simple and private” rather than giving him actual ideas? It seems like giving him ideas isn’t helping for one of two reasons:

1. It is leaving him more confused about what to do.

2. He doesn’t want to do something that you suggest because it wouldn’t be a surprise.

I’m sure he’ll figure something out soon. Try to hang in there! Smile

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