Post # 1
I am having an outside evening wedding in August , in a garden, with about 100 close family members and friends, and I am stuck as to what kind of ceremony to have in place of the candle ceremony ?
A traditional candle ceremony is nixed b/c I do not have a good relationship with my mother, if anybody was to light my candle it would be my stepmom– but I do not want any kind of drama on the special day- so I figured I would think of an alternative, which lead me to the next idea-
To give everybody a small candle as they walk in , and during that time of the ceremony have everyone light their candle and the person next to them , one by one , until everyone’s is lit Then the two grandmothers pass their candle to me and My FH for the unity candle.. This is supposed to symbolize, both families blessing on the marriage, and the two families coming together, instead of just the mothers.
I LOVE this idea, but my Maid/Matron of Honor rained on my parade when she made the statement, “Annie, you’re wedding is outside, keeping 100 candle’s lit against a possible wind would be impossible” She was right and I wasn’t being realistic with my expectations for Mother nature.
So the only other alternative I can think of is the Sand ceremony. I personally do not feel like this is right alternative for me, since I will be in OHIO, far from any real beach, and our colors are red and khaki, and I do not like the look of red sand lol.
Do I have any other options? Please some Ideas would be great !
Post # 3
@Anniebo: I read about a really neat ceremony recently where they passed a ribbon through the aisles of the crowd, so that it connected everyone, and then sent the rings along the ribbon to be blessed by everyone. It sort of gives the “connected” vibe you were going for, and looked really cool in the photographs. You could do some readings while the rings are being passed around. Once the ceremony was over, the crowd lifted up the ribbon for the bride and groom to walk underneath.
Post # 4
There’s the wine box ceremony… It just involves you and Fiance… so no worries with any awkward family dynamics…
Post # 5
Once, I went to a wedding where they passed the rings around to every guest as they blessed it!
Post # 6
We did the wine box/love letter ceremony and we LOVED it. I was searching for a ceremony too, but it was difficult to find one that my husband liked. But when I told him about this, he was instantly excited. It’s really a beautiful ceremony. My husband built the box himself, we went shopping for wine together (got a bottle that will be good in 25 years–in case we can wait that long!), we each wrote our love letters to each other about why we had decided to get married and how we felt about the other person. The idea is that you put all those things in the box at the ceremony, and then you nail the box shut. We had our officiant explain the whole thing–that basically, we will keep the box somewhere we can see it, reminding us of our wedding day and the vows we made, and the love we felt. And if ever our marriage is in trouble–real trouble–we will get the box down, open it, read the letters and drink the wine, and be reminded of why we got married in the first place and the vows we took. We loved it because we take the marriage commitment very seriously–and to us this felt like a way to acknowledge that marriage is not always easy, and it’s sometimes very hard, but we are going to work through whatever we have to because we DO want to be together forever. If you want more info on how we did it, you can PM me!
Post # 7
I just suggested the wine box ceremony to my Fiance because he’s against the unity candle/sand thing (well not against it as much as saying “that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” – just his opinion mind you)….and honestly, we don’t consider our wedding/marriage a uniting of two families. Honestly, I’m pretty sure this wedding will be the only time our two families are in the same room. So loving the way you did it @mrsmdphd
Post # 8
We did a rose ceremony with two parts — we exchanged two roses with each other in the first part, and in the second part we gave the rose we held to our mothers (I gave to my Mother-In-Law, he gave to my mom).
The first part of the ceremony talked about how the rose is a symbol of love, etc. and if at any point in our marriage things begin to get rocky, we’ll remember this exchange and use a single rose as kind of an icebreaker of sorts to get things back on the right track.
In the second part, we recognized the wonderful job our parents did raising us, and gave our mothers the roses as a sort of thank you.
I liked how it felt with our outdoor, garden-esque ceremony — it seemed to fit nicely, especially since we didn’t want to do the unity candle/sand ceremony thing, and we’re not wine lovers.
Post # 10
@ERL501: We did a rose ceremony too, but we had our mothers bring the roses in when they were seated and they handed them to us before the rose exchange.
Post # 11
I was just browsing and didn’t read the whole post but there’s a cross ceremony you can do.
Post # 12
I was watching that “4 weddings: show and I saw sometihng I have not seen before and I thought it was so neat.
Bride and Groom each have a bottle of wine. They then pour some into the same glass and drink. The officiant said something about how the wine was now mixed and couldn’t be seperated and was now one….just like the couple.
I loved it! 🙂
Post # 13
@mrsmdphd: I LOVE this idea!!
Post # 14
Oh I didn’t realize you were trying to include everyone
When my mom was married 10years ago….the geusts stood up and everyone, including bride and groom held hands.
Then we did a hand-squeeze-pass
The minister said something about everyone thinking their thoughts of love and good wishes. I think the minster started it and then it ended with my mom and then her groom.
Funny story: my grandpa is hard of hearing and so there was a funny momenent when his sister squeezed his hand and then she was trying to tell him what to do and you heard him loudly say “What? Why am I squeezing someone’s hand!?” We all laughed and it was such a reflection of who he is and it was such a light hearted moment. I loved it 🙂
Post # 15
I’ve looked and it seems like folks want something besides a sand ceremony. A bride came into my glass blowing studio about 6 months ago asking about a hand blown vase to hold her sand at the ceremony. I asked about it spilling or blending when she took it home and she said “yeah, I’m just going to pour it out and keep the vase”. Ack!
She and I came up with http://www.unityinglass.com Take a look! She just got married on July 23rd and I recently created her sculptural piece.