Post # 1
well my wedding day is may 4th and im looking for ideas both me and my girlfiend have sons who wish to give us away.
I have issues with that as im my own person and no one can give me away. so looking for ideas where our sons can take part and feel there involved in the union of us.
Thanks for looking
Post # 3
@moj1966: Are you doing any sort of unity candle, rope tying, sand ceremony? They could get involved that way 🙂 How old are the boys?
Post # 4
I saw a really great post somewhere, can’t remember where, that dealt with this from the parent to bride perspective. Basically, when asked “who gives this woman” the parents said something like “She comes of her own accord, with our full support.” Maybe you could tweak that to fit your sons? Good luck!
Post # 5
@moj1966: How many sons do you each have? I’ve seen the idea of the bride collecting roses (or whatever flower you want) from people who have been influential in her life and are seated along the aisles. You could also have your sons walk you half way. They could be ushers or walk older family members/friends down the aisle. They could do a reading. They could make speeches at the reception or you could do a mother/son dance.
Post # 6
They could be in the wedding party, do a reading, give a speech at the reception, walk you down the aisle (without the giving away part)… how old are they?
Post # 7
@moj1966: My FI has a son and we are doing a family unification ceremony. We will have our echanging of our vows then we will make vows to his son.
I got the idea online. There are so many options in terms of what to say/how to do it.
I hope this helps.
Post # 8
I think if you don’t want to be given away then you should walk down the aisle alone. They can be in your party though; walk in together or seperately & stand at both your sides. Either carrying some kind of candle/sand/etc as @RoyalLime: suggested or not. I think that it would be beautiful to have them both stand next to you 2 🙂
Post # 9
@jpr: OOOH. I LOVE this!!! Thanks for this idea!! I’ve been looking for something for my mom and step dad to say and this is it! 🙂
Post # 10
where possiblt thinking they will walk us up to the ceromony …. its open air at a castle …. possibly me and my son whos 20 and my partner next with her son whos 19 my daughter is the only bridesmaid …. we where looking for wording on what they could say to give us to each other hope this makes sense
Post # 11
How about “enter into this union with our love and support”
Post # 12
My son walked me down the aisle as my dad has moved onto the spirit world, the officiant didn’t even ask that question from what I recall ? He just hugged me and I took my wife to be’s hand and stepped up to the ceremony space
Post # 13
What my FI and I are doing in our wedding (with our parents, not our children, so it would need to be tweaked a bit) is that I’m walking down the aisle by myself, but then at the very beginning of the ceremony both my parents and his are each presenting us with a gift, something special from their family that they want us to have in ours (so, my parents are giving us a waffle iron because we made waffles every Sunday morning). We thought it has the same nice symbolism as being walked down the aisle (family continuity while creating a new family) without the icky sexist stuff.
What if you did something similar with your sons? Your sons each present you with an item that, for them, represents the family you had together and is something they want to continue in this new family?
Post # 14
Just because they walk you down the aisle doesn’t mean that they are “giving you away”. If he wants to say something as well you could have the officiant say something along the lines of “who suports this woman on this, her wedding day” and then he gets to say “I do”. You can actually do that with all the guests if you want. There are tons of options out there where he still gets to feel involved but you don’t have to feel like a pocession.
Post # 15
@JenGirl: your right just think its the way its precieved
some tradition things i struggle with like automatically giving up your surname etc
Post # 16
@moj1966: Yeah, I get that it can be hard to get beyond the perception of a tradition. When you have a tradition you don’t like, I see there are 2 options: abandon the tradition completely or change it so that it fits you and your beliefs. I, personally, am a changer, not an abandoner, but either is okay. It’s just a matter of what works for you and your family.