I…don't even know how to react right now…

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Does he have the option of going FT active duty?  Would he want to?  Do you have a good support system? Deep breaths, talk to him and see what you can come to for a decision together. 

 

Post # 4
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

First of all, a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS! There is a lot to figure out I’m sure. However, you have 9 months to plan for the baby and then another 2 years to save up for the wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m just curious…were you not on some form of BC since you arent in an ideal situation to have a child?

 

He doesnt have a job? is he retired from the military or something?

 

Post # 6
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If he hasnt used his GI Bill….he can go back to school (assuming he has no 4-year degree) and he will then get paid BAH which should cover all your expenses. Also, with your income and his (lack of) income wouldnt you qualify for assistance? I also agree with a PP that you have 2 years to worry about the wedding. Why cant you push that back?

Post # 7
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Get your FI working.  Figure out how to move in together (if you don’t currently live together) and stabalize your finances.  For example, this would be a really good time to live with family, if you have a strong relationship.

You don’t have the money for a splashy wedding.  I’d cancel the 2015 wedding (if you can’t call off a wedding that’s 2 years away I have to hear the story).  If benig married before the baby comes is important to you do soemthing simple durign your second trimester (when you are likely to be feeling your best).  If it’s not just cancel plans and worry about it later, once the baby has arrived and you’ve got all of that under control.

Weddings are fun but babies are life changing.  Your new little one should be your priority.

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

I hope you feel congrats are in order – especially if you felt that infertility might be an issue. 

I think learning you’re pregnant can be overwhelming even if you’re actively trying.  Let it soak in a bit.  Most people never really feel like the time is exactly right, and often those concerns have to do with finances.

Any thought that instead of pushing back the date, that changing to a quick simple courthouse (or private small chapel) wedding soon would help things financially.  Then maybe have a big celebration sometime after the birth of the baby?

Post # 10
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

@marinesfiance:  I know you werent expecting it, but its still somethin you and FI made together, so CONGRATS ! Everything will work it self out, come up with a plan and start saving.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

So, do you want to keep it?

If you do, it’s time for your FI to find work! And not time to be picky–whatever he can get will help!

And if you don’t, no one is going to blame you.

If you do want to keep it, congratulations on your wonderful surprise, though!

Post # 14
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@marinesfiance:  With the GI Bill I believe they pay for housing AND dependents. THe dependents would be 2…you + baby. I would do something simple for now and get the BAH to pay for your housing plus extra for you and baby. THat is a big help.

Post # 16
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry.  This is a really tough situation.  I wish you strength.

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