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My photographers said 3 weeks on the epics, and I got them at 4. I was going to email them a gentle reminder at 4 weeks and 1 day. I'd give them an extra week if you can stand it (so, another 3 days).
My photographers gave me three different deadlines.
1) The blog would be up in a week...it took 2.5.
2) The proofs would be up in 2 weeks....its been 3 and still nothing.
3) We would get our DVD of images within 3 weeks...again nothing.
I contacted the photographer about the blog a week after the deadline. I feel that's fair, that they have time to tie up any loose ends and it shows that you are understanding of the fact that they are busy. However, after a week late if they haven't said anything to you explaining the lateness I would politely contact them to say you were just curious about when you might get to see them as you're really excited.
There's nothing wrong with following up if they haven't met a deadline, but I think waiting a week is probably the best way to go.
Good luck!
Give them a week or two past the deadline to send a, hopefully, polite followup inquiry or request for teasers.
I know some give a long (3 week deadline) and provide them sooner (at least blog and online proofs) and some just meet the designated deadline.
Wow, I am like a deadline freak.. We literally freak out if we are a day past our editing and send a friendly note that it may take a couple extra days. I know how anxious I was to see my photos. This time of year tends to be crazy for photogs so I would cut them a little slack but when someone gives you a deadline they should honor it. I would send them an email once you reach the one week past the due date.
I never got a deadline from our photographers and cinematographer (same company), but it's been over a month since our wedding and all I've seen is two teaser photos. They've posted a full blog posting of a wedding that was the day after ours in NYC. I emailed last week to "check in" and haven't heard back yet. Frustrating. Sigh. But like PizzutiStudios said, I know it's a crazy busy time for them so I'm trying to keep calm. Wait until the end of the week and then email.
I'm with PizzutiStudios, my deadline means that's the latest to get them to you. I'm done the day before the deadline at the latest, so that I can give you the cd/dvd the day of the deadline. I hate giving out photos late!
I would contact them about a week after they were supposed to get them to you & just send a friendly email asking about the status. You wouldn't seem like a pest at all! Just know it can take a few days for them to reply back to you.
I'm not sure about your photog, but October is my photog's most insane month. She was 2 days late giving us our wedding photos (she told us 4 weeks, it was 4 weeks and 2 days). BUT she emailed us at 4 weeks to the day to tell us she would be 2 days late, and why.
Also, your photog isn't 4 days late, she's less than 2 days late - weekends aren't business days. Those are shooting/off days for wedding photogs.
I made our photographer put the deadlines in our contract, and he completely stuck by them. If he hadn't, I think I would've been calling him up the day after he said they would be there.
I think that it never hurts to follow up when it is past the deadline they give you, as long as you are polite about it. Sometimes following up gets your work pushed to the top of the pile, and likewise, sometimes NOT following up means your work gets pushed behind others who have asked. This is my experience working as a project manager!
I'm sending a nasty email to our photographer the day after our 8 week deadline passes. A deadline is a deadline, not a suggestion. It's unprofessional and you're perfectly fair not to tolerate it for a day. You pay money for a service, you agreed on a date, you get what you pay for, period.
@chicagobride092010: I dont see any reason to be nasty to anyone, much less the photographer who is in control of your wedding pictures. Photographers can spend a lot of time enhancing your pictures....or none at all.
@Kitty285: i voted to wait a week before sending a nice reminder. You aren't the photographer's only client. They often work alone and have many clients to please. If they miss a deadline by a few days, not a deal breaker. Most people understand when they hire a photographer that they aren't going to get fast food service. Photographers typically don't have a slew of employees who can churn everything out immediately.
For those who are not forgiving of deadlines, I would suggest hiring Walmart to photograph your wedding. They have a wedding dept now that can churn out some photos like SNAP! 
Basic professionalism requires (a) meeting your deadlines, or (b) contacting your client ahead of the deadline and negotiating a new due date with a compensatory discount. I expect professionalism from the people I hire.
A judge would not be kind to me if I file my doc late because "I was soooo busy!" When you've obligated yourself to get something done by a certain date, you get it done, or you negotiate an extension. You don't silently let it pass. THAT is Walmart service.
@kitty285 Email your photographer and let her know how excited you are to see the pictures. That way she'll know you care and also serve as a reminder :)
Even though it's the time when wedding season is wrapping up and things get crazy in post-editing world, I do agree a deadline is a deadline and it shouldn't be missed. Or at least not without any explanation.
Thanks so much for your opinions, bees! I emailed my Photographer on Thursday, and she assured me that she was actively working on editing my pics, and that I would have them this weekend. She emailed me my pic this morning and I'm so happy with them....
Check out my post:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/got-my-e-pics-back-today-pic-heavy
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My photographer said we'd get back all our engagement pictures in three weeks, which would have been this past Friday the 15th. I know its only 4 days later, but at what point is it ok to follow up with her? I don't want to be a pest, but if she said three weeks, I'm thinking it should be exactly that.
Do photographers typically give more of a rough estimate of time rather than a specific date? When is it ok to follow up with her, or should I just wait it out?
Thanks!!!