(Closed) If BM dresses match, do shoes have to match as well?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think the shoes have to all match.  However, I think that there are so many different variations of red, that it might look weird if they all showed up with different shades of red shoes.  So, I guess in your case I would suggest having all the same shoe, or maybe changing it to a more neutral color and letting them pick their own.

Post # 4
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think it’s up to you. i personally like the non matchy look, and the idea that it does put the budget in their hands. plus, not everyone is going to wear red shoes all the time, so if i am going to have to buy red shoes i’d want to buy ones that i love and will wear again. that being said, it’s your wedding and if you really want them to match, i think it’s ok to tell them what shoes to wear. just don’t make them too expensive.

Post # 5
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

It’s up to you.  Personally, I’d never notice if the shoes matched or not, but that’s just me.  I feel like the shoes are such a small detail, it won’t be that noticable in photos.  However, I also am not a big fan of the matchy-matchy look, so I might be a bad judge. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it’ll be fine.  Go to the gallery section of weddingbee and look under bridesmaid dress and you’ll see a bunch that show what you’re talking about – same dress with different shoes.  I think it looks just fine.  You may want to say stick within a color so it’s not too off the wall.

Post # 8
Member
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

Look in the Gallery of pictures here. There are lots of pictures showing different shoes on BM’s.

I personally don’t like it,but that’s probably because I’m not used to seeing it. I DO notice the shoes and I think in pictures its distracting.

Post # 9
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I definitely don’t think the shoes have to match. I like the matching dresses but doing the shoes makes it look too Stepford to me.

Personally, I would switch it to any black shoes they can come up with. As a pp said, doing red shoes leaves the problem open to many different shades of red which I don’t think would look good.

It also sounds like they have spent some money already and not making them buy red shoes they may only wear this one time would make you a nice and caring friend! 🙂

Plus the shoes being black, and not red, would minimize the differences in them if they didn’t match. So even less to worry about it with black shoes!

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

The majority of guests actually don’t notice those details. However some people consider matching shoes to be too matchy. Let them pick out whatever shoes they want in an appropriate color (silver for example) and they can find something they like and that are comfortable in the budget they can spend.

Post # 11
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I was recently a BM in a wedding and after a fair bit of mucking around (the bride told us we all had to have the same shoes, then changed her mind and said we all had to have silver shoes but not matching, and THEN told her sister she could have navy shoes!!) I was a bit concerned the different shoes thing would look bad in photos but on the day and in the photos it really didn’t look bad at all – I mean at the end of the day everyone is so focused on the couple and the bride and everything else that’s going on that no one is looking at the maid’s shoes!! We ended up having one bm in silver ballet flats, me in silver wedge kitten heels and the brides sister in navy and black stiletto heels – and funnily enough it looked great!!! Another thing to consider is that some people love heels and others loathe them – so how comfortable your bm’s are going to be is another consideration!

I think they’ll be happier if they can choose at least the style of their shoes, but the most frustrating thing for me was all of the mixed messages about the shoes!

Post # 12
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If you go to wedding blog’s like Southern Weddings (swsmag.net) or Style Me Pretty (stylemepretty.com), you’ll see that a lot of the girls don’t wear matching shoes. All the same shade, but not the same type.

It’s completely up to you. If you feel you want them to match, maybe you can go to payless shoes or an inexpensive shoe store like that & find a good pair they can all wear for a good price.

If not, tell them you want a darker or lighter shade of red (whatever color it may be) and tell them it needs to be open toe, sandal type shoe…or however you want to coordinate it.

Matching shoes are not a must, so if you’re concerned about that I would not worry about it. I think it’s awesome seeing wedding’s where the ladies are all wearing different shoes.

Good luck!!

Post # 13
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

I like the idea of having non-matching shoes. Could you get dye-able shoes…then they could all pick the style that they like the best, and you could have them all dyed the same exact red?

Personally, I’m going through the same troubles; my bridesmaids are all in the same fabric/color of dress (but 3 different styles), but I have no idea what to do with shoes! I want them in green shoes, and I am just waiting anxiously for the spring lines to come out! Each of the girls has different tolerance to heels (one in particular NEVER wears them), so I don’t want to force them into shoes that they will be uncomfortable in, but I’m worried that with all of the different greens out there, that they might look funny if I don’t select one shoe in particular.

 

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I love mis-matchy shoes.  It’s the easiest thing for the girls, I think. 

Post # 15
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I like the look of mis-matchy shoes too, plus it lets your girls interject a little personality into their outfits!  My BMs are wearing gray chiffon dresses from Jcrew and I told them to wear bright pink shoes – any style and any version of the color.  Although most people I’ve told, including my BMs have asked me if I am sure if that’s what I want, I just think it’ll be fun and it’ll add a nice little pop of color.  Besides, in the end, who’s going to judge your wedding based on the colors of your ladies’ shoes?

Post # 16
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think so!

I actually TRIED to push my girls towards choosing a their own (unique) dress in a certain color..but, they all liked the same one!

I have told them to pick their own shoes and accessories, but I’ve had atleast 2 (out of 6) tell me they want ME to pick their shoes FOR THEM!  Interesting…but, atleast I gave them choice!

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