(Closed) If his relatives felt that music was against their religion

posted 7 years ago in Music
Post # 3
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think that I could try and manipulate my DH to change his convictions. I mean is he siding with them b/c he doesn’t want issues or does he hold those same convictions?

Really as important as it may seem to you… the only song I even HEARD at our wedding was when we had worship. And that’s only b/c we totally stopped and put our focus on worshipping. Everything was like blocked out so to speak.. I don’t even remember hearing them. lol

So taking that into consideration, I prolly would degress on having to have it if having it meant pushing my DH to step down from what he believes.

*just a thought*

That and manipulation defintiely isn’t a good way to get a compomise. lol

Post # 4
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is there a way you can compromise? I don’t like the ultimatum one bit – I think it’s really starting things off on the wrong foot. I know you said music is really important to you – do you mean during the ceremony, or during the reception? If it’s during the ceremony, can you try to find a song that musicians can play with the instruments his family approves of? And if it’s during the reception, why not just have the DJ or band not start up until everyone’s done with dinner, and then those who want to stay and dance can, but those who are offended by the music can leave?

Post # 5
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Clarification: is your FI on “their side” because he shares their religious convictions, or because he doesn’t want to rock the boat?

Post # 6
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with pp that your FI’s motivations are important. If he is against music because of his religious beliefs, then it sounds like you two have some pretty different ideas about religion and more important than the wedding you need to decide if you can live with and respect his beliefs for the rest of your life. 

If, however, he is just trying to please his family then I think he needs to get over it. You two should have the wedding you want and if family is going to not come because of it, that is their perogative. 

Post # 8
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah, this would bother me  A LOT too. I completely agree that if it isn’t his parents or somebody very close, why not have music?

Post # 9
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@USAandKSA: I agree with you. What you and he want IS more important. He should be backing you on this. But you should not under any circumstances issue an ultimatum over this. Discuss it like adults.

Post # 11
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@USAandKSA:are you talking about the ceremony, or the reception?

Post # 12
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Giving an ultimatum

Post # 13
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

WB is really getting on my nerves.

Giving an ultimatum is not going to help you out in the long run. Remind him that a wedding reflects the couples interests…not some aunts and uncles who don’t like music.

Maybe compromise. Maybe don’t play music until after dinner. Then, if they want to leave they can leave.

Post # 14
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Tattoo: I like your compromise suggestion!  

I am curious about what religion they are?

Post # 15
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thats a great compromise ^^^ and what I was going to recommend, I can’t stand family that always wants it to be about their desires rather than the bride & groom. urggg…

Post # 16
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@amyisnice:  Sounds like the 2×2’s or the Truth.  Probably isn’t, but they are against a lot of different music too.

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