(Closed) If I can’t have an engagement ring I’ll settle for…

posted 7 years ago in Home
  • poll: Do you and your SO own, rent, live at home or do something different?
    Own my own home : (8 votes)
    5 %
    FI owns his/her own home : (11 votes)
    7 %
    We own a home together : (43 votes)
    28 %
    I rent : (6 votes)
    4 %
    He rents : (5 votes)
    3 %
    We rent together : (72 votes)
    46 %
    I live at home : (2 votes)
    1 %
    He lives at home : (0 votes)
    We both live at home : (9 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4804 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I own my own condo and my FI stays with me most of the time.  He never officially “moved in” because I was worried about being common-law (we just got engaged a couple of weeks ago, so it wouldn’t bother me anymore but it did when we weren’t engaged if that makes sense).  His official address is still at his mom’s house along with his furniture.  Many of his clothes are here at my place and he gives me about half of my mortgage payment each month. I don’t use it to pay the mortgage, I save it and then we use it for something later (for example, we went to Jamaica with it last year).  It’s kind of a weird arrangement but worked for us. Once we are married we will probably try to find “our” place, but I didn’t want to sell without being engaged or married.

    Whew that was a long story!  Sorry 😛  Anyways, I think it’s a good decision to buy a home rather than a ring.  Maybe you could even get a small, more inexpensive ring or even a wedding band for now and then get your engagement ring later. 

    I think from your post it sounds like you would both buy together, but if not, I wouldn’t buy yourself and then live common-law with him.  Then you technically would have to give him half of the place if anything ever happened God forbid. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9825 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We rent together. For the forseeable future, his job could place him anywhere in the country at any time. I don’t want to buy a home in expensive-as-hell Massachusetts only to have them place him in a location out in Cali or Wyoming.

    If you can afford a house that’s seriously awesome and it makes sense financially. But as I always say, I’d really need to be married to someone before purchasing a home with them.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We bought a house before getting engaged/married too – it is something we discussed and financially it just made sense for us , as we had known we would be planning to spend forever together …and then I wanted a kitchen reno ..which i know put off our engagement even more – now i am not mentioning the new hot tub i want until we get engaged..haha 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    I own my home and he lives with me. Well, it’s ours to me, just my name on the title. The only advice I have is to make sure you have a good realtor and if they are not good, find another one!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Right , I felt like we were at the alter when we were signing that mortgage agreement hehe 

    My home buying advice would be to make a list of ‘deal breakers’ and focus on the things that you cant change – you can never make a back yard bigger , you cant control traffic in your front yard ..ect..ect but you can change floors and do renos . Enjoy the process it was one of the best times of our lives – and a day doesnt pass that we dont wake up and say we love our house . Dont settle – you will find ‘the one!’ good luck and keep us posted!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think it is very wise to choose a home over an engagement ring.  I would make the same choice.  You can always get a ring later IF you’ll even want one.  Obviously a home is much more necessary and functional than jewelry.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We were passively looking for about 8 months … but aggressively for only 2.5 months (we were on a time crunch because of the low interest rates and wanting to ‘beat’ HST) 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4355 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    FI and I bought a home together almost a full year before getting engaged.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    Congrats on buying a new home!

    I moved in with my husband (then bf) and he already owned a town house. I’m pregnant now, so we’ve decided to buy a house, and since we would lose money by selling it we’re going to keep it and rent it out.

    My advice would be to figure out your priorities (# of beds and baths, big back yard, garage, etc). It made it easier for us to figure out what we did and didn’t like.

    Post # 16
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    We will be moving into our new house in a few weeks! Buying a home together is so exciting. 🙂

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