If I Could Take It All Back…..

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@victoria1990:  I think you’re just going to have to give him some time. Are you sure that this is definitely what you want this time?

Post # 5
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@victoria1990:  Then keep in contact with him and make your feelings known, but don’t push him too hard- the betrayal is still fresh for him. He has to be sure he can trust you before he can happily be in a relationship with you again.

Post # 6
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@victoria1990:  i definitely think it’s just a matter of time, and if you show him what he wants, then it’ll work out. If FI broke up with me, i think it would take  A LOT for us to get back to where we are now.

Post # 7
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@victoria1990:  I think you’ll just have to give him time, like MeiFrancis said. Trying to rush or beg or prod and poke him into a relationship may be counterproductive. 

I suggest letting him know how you feel and what you would like to happen, and then giving him time to get comfortable again. 

Post # 8
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@victoria1990:  just give him time and let him know that you are there for him.  i can totally understand why he would be a bit hesitant to go the the next level with you.

don’t rush it and don’t push or nag him, this will be counter productive for your relationship. 

good luck.

Post # 9
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that giving plenty of time is necessary, but in addition to that you need to let him know and show him that you care about him and that his heart will be safe with you again.

It will take time, but be patient if you know that this is what you truly want. Moving slowly is what is best for both of you at this point.

Post # 10
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

You need to find a way to prove that after another two years, this definitely won’t happen again. Are you able to list the ways that makes this time around different, and that you won’t need a spin around the block to take a breather at some point? A break like that won’t solve relationship doubts every time.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would definitely give him time!

Keep hanging out and talking, and remind him of why you are SO awesome!

Eventually I’m sure he’ll start to trust you again!

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@victoria1990:  I try not to have regrets because you made the best decision that you could for yourself at the time. Things have changed now and there may be no going back, but you acted how you thought was best. I really do believe that every action has consequences and we have to live with them – it’s like our mom’s always told us, once you make your bed you have to lay in it. I wouldn’t get back with someone who left me either. That is not a productive way to deal with conflict. I would always wonder if the person would leave again when things got tough or they were dealing with something personal. Communication and trust are key.  

Post # 13
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

As others have said, it will just take time.

Make sure that your intentions are fully known (without telling him a million times), & then try to be as “normal” as possible in a way that does not feel like you are pressuring him.

I believe that will show him a major sign of maturity in you, that you can be direct in expressing what you want, & then leave the ball in his court all while remaining cool as a cucumber.

I think you are very blessed that he is willing to consider starting a relationship again, so I’d take that as an excellent sign that he is already well on his way to “unfriend zoning” you.

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